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Posts by SUONYIL LAM [Suspended]
Name: Lâm Lệ Phương
Joined: Apr 4, 2020
Last Post: Apr 5, 2020
Threads: 2
Posts: 6  
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From: Viet Nam
School: PHAM NGOC THACH UNIVERSITY

Displayed posts: 8
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SUONYIL LAM   
Apr 4, 2020
Writing Feedback / ESSAY OF IELTS TASK 1 - LINE GRAPH water consumption in Brazil and Democractic Republic of Congo. [3]

THE FIRST ESSAY

water use worldwide and the water consumption



The graph illustrates water consumed on the world and the table compares water use between two countries namely Brazil, Democractic Republic of Congo.
Overall, almost gobal water ulitized for agriculture, including Brazil and Democractic Republic of Congo, this increased in each sector. Moreover, the high population as Brazil absorbed more water than th nation which is less citizen as Congo.

It is clear that 500 km3 water was used for irrigated sector in 1900. After on hundred years, this increased six times as much as one in 1900. Industry and domesticity were consumed less than 100 km3 water in 1900: however, there were rose 1000km3 and 250 km3 water repectively in 2000.

According to the data, Brazil's popoulation is 176 million and 26500km2 land was spent for cultivating and breeding. One person living in Brazil wasted 359 m3 water while 8 m3 water was a number of a citizen in Congo where was the inhabitant of 5.2 million people and 100 km2 land in here was irrigated land used in 2000.



  • The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and the water consumption
SUONYIL LAM   
Apr 4, 2020
Writing Feedback / Are computers the most important invention of the last century? [5]

Hi Thu,
The grammar and vocabulary of essay are good
However, I think your essay is quiet short and does not have examples for your explannation. Moreover, you need give your opinion in the introduction

You can give more idea about this statement like: Computer appearance is open the new page for technology and industry. Many softwares are developed to service industrialize purpose.
SUONYIL LAM   
Apr 4, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2 - Discuss both views about sports profession of wages [3]

Huge money for some athletes



Topic: Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your opinion[/b]

Many profitable and skillful sports players are paid a huge amount of money while others people working professionally in different fields. Some people agree with this situation while others are not. I believe that payment is reasonale.

Firstly, plenty of famous professional footballers can get a contract worth several billion dollars which enough for their family to live the whole life. Not only is reward financed by club and donors of competition, but also his income comes from the advertisements of well-known label. For instance, giant properties of powerful David Beckham kicker make others admire. According statistics in 2007, he joined in LA Galaxy club with 250 million dollars contract in five years and his salary in that moment is 6.5 million dollars. That is the highest wage on the world until now. However, it is not just spoet players can earn a humongous amount of money, but a lot of employee in diverse and essential occupation can either. Clear example that is Bill Gates who is establisher of Microsoft obtains 33.3 million dollar per day. Therefore, if one person performs well their jobs, the boss will pay worthy of money for them, regardless of who.

On the other hand, some people think that the remuneration of labour whoes profession are vital in society such as farmers, doctors, teachers is less than one of sports players, so this is unfair. Nevertheless, according career property, people playing sporst as occupation hold a great responsibility to bring prize and pride for country through severe competition. In addition, they need to exxperience high intensity of trainning and may suffer critical injuries which can dispossess their life. Indonesian Akli Fairio attacker of Persiraja club is a specific demonstration. He took a serious kick on his stomach when he pariticipanted in championship. After 6-day-treatment, he died at the age of 27.

In conclusion, a great wage is paid for people efforting to finish perfectly thei work, it is not expect anyone. Some people may earn much money in a short time, but its is not unfair because they bet whole their life at this moment.