Posts by ros4nna [Suspended]

ros4nna

Jun 28, 2020

Graduate / Engineering Job - AAS Supporting Statement: Question No. 1 [4]

@darklord30
Hello,
One thing I notice from your essay is that you say on the second paragraph that UniMelb is your first choice, but then you don't have the second choice of uni? I think you need to delete the word "first".

Your closing paragraph is also weak. You only restated what you have said in the previous paragraph. Try to use the characters available more wisely to deliver your intention better.

ros4nna

Jun 28, 2020

Scholarship / STUDY CONTRIBUTION TO MY CAREER - a stepping stone for small scale industries (SSI) [2]

@nabhila
Hi Nabhila,
I must say that I am impressed by your choice of words. I think your first and last paragraph are good and convincing enough. But at the second paragraph, I don't think you should too focus on your lack of knowledge. Instead, be specific on the unit study of the Master of Commerce and relate it to your plan of career.

Hope this help.

ros4nna

Jun 28, 2020

Scholarship / AAS - Master of Data Science & Master of Computing [6]

@rabka
Hi Muhammad Akbar,
I try to give my opinion on your essay. I think you have to be more specific about what you will learn in the master degree that you choose, not just mention that they are the best university in the world. Try to relate the subjects to your personal reason, not just a general reason.

Hope this help

ros4nna

Jun 28, 2020

Scholarship / WHY DID YOU CHOOSE YOUR PROPOSED COURSE AND INSTITUTION? - AAS (MASTER OF COMMERCE) [4]

@nabhila
Hi Nabhila

I try to give a little feedback I got from this forum also. One thing that got my attention is that you have to explain why you choose your second choice university. You can not just say that they have a similar courses. Tell the reviewer the difference between those two universities and why did you choose two of them.

Hope this help. Good luck!

ros4nna

Jun 28, 2020

Scholarship / Human Resource Management - Why this course choice in this vocational education institution? [3]

@Holt
Thank you so much for the quick response, Holt. You're a big help! I will revise my statement.

ros4nna

Jun 27, 2020

Scholarship / Human Resource Management - Why this course choice in this vocational education institution? [3]

Hi everyone,
My name is Anna and I am pursuing scholarship from Australia (AAS). This is a statement support I need to turn in to apply the scholarship.The limit character is 2000 chars. Right now my essay has 2200-ish chars so I hope I can shorten it with your advice. Please help me and thank you in advance!

Human Resource Management

XXX is a vocational education institution under Ministry of xxx. XXX has been going through an organisational transformation in 2015 and it cause a huge challenge especially in the human resource department.

One of the challenge is communication and collaboration between divisions and it leads to a serious consequence. There are numerous misunderstandings, prejudice between one division to another, and miscommunication which cost us not only immaterial but also material loss. This problems has been occured repeatedly but there are minor efforts from the institution to fix them. This condition has encouraged me to pursue a master degree in human resource management with two choice of universities.

My first choice is University of Sydney which offers Master of Human Resource Management and Industrial Relations. University of Sydney known to be in the 1% top universities in the world and it sure translates to high quality learning experience. They offers a comprehensive courses that cater my needs. One of the study unit is Managing Communication in Organisations. This unit will be essential to help me understand the theoretical and practical knowledge of communication at organisational and individual level which I will apply to my institution. Another unit of study that are relevant is Organisational Change and Development, which will be very useful to help my institution undergo the transformation.

On the other hand, University of Western Australia (UWA) also offers Master of Human Resource Management and Employee Relations. Different from University of Sydney, one course that UWA has on the list is People Analytic, which would help me to analyze complex human resource data sets and translate it into a presentable data for higher and middle management to help them make an improved decision about policy in human resource department.

Furthermore, I have visited the campus of UWA and it has great learning environment for students. I have talked to some of the alumni and they gave really good testimonies about the program. The lecturers are always encouraging students to learn and the theories are applicable to their workplace. This has influenced me to make it my second choice of university.