Writing Feedback / The line graph displays how much acid rain was emitted by four different sectors in the UK [2]

Hi guys,
I'm practicing IELTS writing task 1. Please give me some comments on my essay. Thanks in advance!

IELTS Writing task 1: Acid rain

The line graph displays how much acid rain was emitted by four different sectors in the UK over 27 years from 1990.

Overall, what stands out from the graph is that acid rain emissions reduced dramatically during the period shown. In addition, the amount of acid rain caused by electricity, gas and water supply witnessed the most tremendous decrease, from the primary culprit to the second least polluted sector.

In 1990, around 3.25 million tonnes of acid rain was caused by electricity, gas and water supply, which was by far higher than the equivalent figure for other industries, with just over 2 million tonnes. However, in the next 27 years, there was a significant decline of 2.75 million tonnes in the amount of acid rain generated by electricity, gas and water supply. Meanwhile, the figure for other industries, despite falling, overtook electricity, gas and water supply to become the most contaminated sector, at around 1.75 million tonnes 1997 and 1.25 million tonnes in 2007.

There was an insignificant amount of acid rain which was produced by transport, communication and domestic. In 1990, each sector caused nearly 0.75 million tonnes of acid rain. Subsequently, the figure for transport and communication fluctuated slightly between 0.75 and 1 million tonnes over the rest of the period. As for the amount of acid rain produced domestically, it fell steadily to about 0.25 million tonnes in 2007.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing task 2. Less sleep. Why? Effects? [3]

People nowadays sleep less than they used to in the past

What do you think is the reason behind this? And what are the effects of this?

In recent years, people have not got as much sleep as they did before. The main reason for this is a considerable amount of work that workers have and inadequate sleep has a disastrous impact on people's life.

In the face of the economic pressure, people are often snowed under with work, leaving little time for relaxation. Many young people decide to have multiple jobs to increase their incomes, creating more work tasks to complete in addition to their housework, such as childcare or laundry. Being employed in different positions, the reduction of sleep is unavoidable for these employees. Furthermore, the advances in technology enable people to work at the touch of a button. This means that people probably have to perform their jobs even during their bedtime.

Turning to the effects of this unwanted tendency, insufficient sleep can cause myriads issues for people. The first and foremost problem that people face when they do not have enough sleep is health-related issues. It is scientifically proven that sleepless people have a higher blood pressure than their ordinary fellows, as a result, higher chances to experience a heart attack. Secondly, a lack of sleep could detrimentally affect people's everyday activities. For example, students can easily lose concentration on their lessons or might fall asleep during their classtime, causing them to fall behind with their study and perform poorly at school.

In conclusion, sleep is not respected by people as it did before. Unless there is a reduction in the amount of work people get, health problems will occur more frequently and social lives will be negatively affected.

Any comments would be highly appreciated!

Writing Feedback / Oversea traveling has become significantly popular - advantages and disadvantages to the community [3]

Some feel International tourism this is a positive trend, what are your opinions on this?

In recent years, oversea traveling has become significantly popular and brought about both advantages and disadvantages to the community. In my opinion, it is international tourism that benefits the local community economically and socially.

From an economic perspective, a tourist from another nation is considerably vital to the host country. Firstly, foreign travelers spend their money on food, souvenirs or services in the place which they are visiting. This gives the locals an attractive source of income as foreign tourists are often generous and willing to pay. Secondly, local restaurants or theme parks will need to employ more staff if there is a growing demand for their products and services. This offers many job opportunities for the residents, providing them with a decent job and a fixed income, in turn increasing their quality of life.

From a social perspective, a region that is developed for the purpose of boosting international tourism is worth settling in. First of all, it is likely that a profitable tourist attraction attracts many investors and businesses. This results in a greater demand for housing, creating a prosperous future for the local construction industry. Furthermore, there might be more services and amenities, such as restaurants, supermarkets or cinemas to be provided if there is a growing population, making the life of local inhabitants much more convenient and comfortable. This has a powerful impact on every aspect of life, especially in rural areas, where are lacking the state budget to develop.

In conclusion, although there could be some problems with international tourism, I strongly believe that the positive side of oversea traveling, if managed well, outweigh the negative.

Hope you guys can help me with my writing, many thanks!

Writing Feedback / It is suggested that adolescents should work in their spare time to benefit society [5]

Teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in free time to help the community.

Agree or disagree

It is suggested that adolescents should work in their spare time to benefit society. However, I strongly disagree with this view and regard this idea as counterproductive.

There are many reasons why work should not be made compulsory for teenagers. Firstly, the pressure from schools is heavy enough for students to bear. Students are often required to attend classes, do homework, or revise before exams, making going to school a demanding and time-consuming activity. Therefore, there is a high possibility that students will easily fall behind with their studies if they are given a full-time job. Secondly, it is morally wrong and unfair to force people, regardless of age, doing something against their will. Unless people work on a volunteer basis, workers may experience the feeling of resentment, which results in low productivity and bad performance.

Furthermore, I also believe that young people should be given chances to explore themselves first before joining the workforce. Parents and educators should encourage young people to use free time effectively by enjoying their hobbies, such as visiting places or doing sports. These leisure activities are not only attractive to young people but also equip them with valuable life skills and experiences and may help them define their career path later on. This is beneficial for both the individual and community as they are likely to become a passionate worker in the future. Teenage years should be enjoyable because the youth have many years of working ahead of them.

In conclusion, although some work can be done in teenager's free time, it is more pragmatic to let young people decide what they want to do during their free time.

I really need help with my IELTS writing. I would be very thankful if anyone could give me feedback on my writing