Hi guys. I've just known about this website about 2 hours ago and I think it might be useful for my next exam. Thank you for taking your time reading and checking my essay. Have a nice day everyone!
Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Some people believe that living in a foreign country where people are forced to speak a different language than their mother tongue could be beneficial in many ways. In my opinion, I believe that speaking a foreign language could cause serious problems not only in social life but also in working or studying environment.
First of all, not speaking fluently one country's language could raise serious problems in social life and daily activities. People might easily be let down and feel isolated when they cannot communicate with local people for basic needs such as finding a place to stay or buying food to eat. Overseas students and immigrants, who are most likely to be put in this situation, usually suffer from depression during the first few months after arriving at the destination country due to their lack of talking to others. Furthermore, not being able to speak the widely used language in one country might prevent people to explore and understand that country's culture. It cannot be denied that there will always be something which only the locals could understand. For example, foreigners are usually confused and incapable of knowing the actual meaning and context of slangs, idioms or jokes, which makes it harder for them to fit in.
Secondly, not being able to speak the language that are widely spoken could be a barrier for people at workplace or in educational environment. For example, some information from the lessons or commands from the employers could be misunderstood or misleading, which might cause serious consequences. In addition, lacking of language ability might prevent foreign workers from getting a decent job rather than manual labour. Language barrier could also be a challenge for those who want to be promoted at work because of the discrimination from their employers and colleagues. Therefore, they have to work harder than others to get what they deserve.
In conclusion, regardless of the advantages and opportunities of speaking a foreign language, I believe that there are many drawbacks and difficulties in daily life that should be taken into consideration when deciding to move to another country.
Your first sentence seems to state the wrong topic. It's about problems not benefits, isn't it? Your conclusion, again, mentions the advantages which aren't stated in your essay.
Some grammartical errors:
- First of all,
not speaking fluently (I think this word is redundant) one country's ...
- prevent people to explore => from exploring
Hope this helps ^^
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You are speaking of your belief without responding to the question being asked. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You failed to respond to the prompt question which would have been the basis of your reasoning discussion. You should have responded to the additional questions as well and delivered examples of the social and practical problems that could occur.
Do not rush your discussion presentation. Think about your response. Use an outline. Pick one topic per paragraph. Formulate your supporting discussion reasons. Don't just keep on presenting reasons without working out how these relate to one another. It delivers a confusing essay to follow. You need to keep it properly focused on a singular discussion topic per paragraph.
Regardless of the discussion issues, the mere fact that you did not respond properly to the prompt question will hinder your scoring potential. You may not be able to reach the base passing score at this point.
I believe that the introduction of you essay is quite out of the topic. The topic mentioned problems so you need to paraphase from the topic, not by creating a new meaning of the topic.
Moreover, your body paragraphs are not logically written. You did not separate topic sentence, explanation and example clearly.
I am just a new one to IELTS so these are my own perspective and opinions. Hope this helps
Thank you for pointing out my mistakes. I will try harder next time ^^