Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by huyhoangnk01
Name: Hendrich Trần
Joined: Aug 31, 2020
Last Post: Sep 14, 2020
Threads: 2
Posts: 5  
Likes: 1
From: Viet Nam
School: DUMTP

Displayed posts: 7
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
huyhoangnk01   
Sep 14, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2 :People in the 21st century have better quality of lives (agree or not) [3]

@DiepVu99
Thank you for your comments <3
I am totally agree with the idea that I lack of evidence to persuade the examiners and using too much you and I think to analyse.

I really wonder that instead of using On the one hand or At the same time, what phrases I should use in this kind of essay (the totally agree).?

If you are available, I would hope to listen to your amazing ideas.
Thanks a lot, I appreciate all of your efforts <3
huyhoangnk01   
Sep 13, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2 :People in the 21st century have better quality of lives (agree or not) [3]

TOPIC:
People living in the 21st century generally have better quality of lives than people born in earlier centuries.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?



It is believed that the quality of life in today's world has improved a lot since the previous centuries. Personally, I totally agree with this point of view.

On the one hand, as the growth of modern medicine, we could have a longer and healthier life, and the average life expectancy has increased tremendously as proof. A few decades ago, humankind usually had a higher risk of getting serious illnesses and health issues. Community health care in recent years, however, has significantly improved and has also been capable to raise people's awareness of the importance of health protection. Besides, it is delighted to know that people nowadays can quickly get access to advanced medical treatments because of the well-planned investment by the government. This, in my opinion, beneficially affects the living standard of people in society. My cousin, for example, had a damaged liver after an accident, but thanks to the developments in the medical field, the doctors successfully transplanted a healthy liver and gave her a new life.

At the same time, I also think that education plays an essential role in leveling up people's living conditions. You have to understand that the more people have the opportunity to study, the more society develops. Because instead of being a burden to the community, with knowledge, people can contribute to it by building businesses that create jobs for many unemployed workers, or forming relationships with foreign companies to promote the economic potential. Therefore, many governments in the world spend billions of dollars to encourage intelligent students and focus on elevating the teaching system to meet the increasing learning needs of today's students. For instance, in Vietnam, you will probably obtain a scholarship to study abroad, if you win the first prize in the national Math competition.

In conclusion, it seems to me that the standard of living in the modern world has developed in a beneficial way.
huyhoangnk01   
Sep 13, 2020
Writing Feedback / It is said that the way we use electronic media affects negatively our relationships in real life [2]

<3 I have learnt a lot of new words and useful structures from your essay. I only note out some errors, hope it will help you.

... media affects negatively negatively affects or severely affects our ... In my point of view (go short by: In my perspective), I believe ...

... like mobile phones, laptops... (don't use "...") make it much ... In addition, using these modern stuffs (stuff is an uncountable noun => this modern stuff) for ... and costs fewer fees (has a lower cost) than traditional ways.

..., it is believed that for less ...social networking... ( you don't use ... in ielts writing because it is quite informal) a few days beforehand.

Overall, the increase rise in ...
... on how you you use them. Try to counter-balance ... (unnecessary)
huyhoangnk01   
Sep 1, 2020
Student Talk / How start to write?I have to take score 7 in ielts exam! [24]

First of all, I truly believe that no one is bad at anything, practice makes perfect. You need to start from the little thing, like basic grammar structures such as: relative clause, conditional sentence, complex sentence,etc... Go on youtube to learn is a great way because there are plenty of useful materials. Before trying to write please learn the structure of each kind of questions. Don't forget to keep a burning heart for knowledge.
huyhoangnk01   
Aug 31, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 2 why do people change jobs regularly? [4]

Hope my feedbacks help. In general, your ideas and vocabularies are amazing, I have learnt a lot from this essay. Thank you <3 From Vietnam with love.

People keep changing their job (work = avoid repetition) might because they want to try different careers or they are dismissed. (meaning eror "People keep changing their work might because they have to try different careers or else they would find themselves unemployed")

... forced to seek for a new job ... changes in the external environment, ... People may find themselves(it) hard to be fit for their present job ...

... to get access to a larger labour market. ... in different companies to helping young ventures growing into successful enterprises.

Because of uncertainty about... (you should give your examples directly because this sentence aims to provide the general idea of the paragraph, like " ...pay great attention to ... and ..."). They should ... to fit into a technology-led world. ... how to use the newest software (you can use "latest software" or "latest technology" because it sounds better and avoid repetition) to ...

... They need to... (You are giving a discussion idea but forget a crucial thing, the conclusion need a related answer for the question "why do people change jobs regularly?" you may lose coherence point)
huyhoangnk01   
Aug 31, 2020
Writing Feedback / Is boarding at school ideal for students in contrast to staying at home with their parents? [3]

Better for students to live far away from home or not



Nowadays, people believe that boarding at school is ideal for college students than staying at home with their parents. From my perspective, living far away from home is the optimal choice because students will have the chance to learn how to live in this world independently and make more rooms for new relationships.

In the past, many parents protected their children from the negative influence and assisted them with all the chores in the house, so that students living at home may completely concentrate on their academic study. Besides, having a chance to live on their own, these students will become more independent because they have to calculate precisely for anything that involves money, think carefully before making important decisions, and take responsibility for their health, career, and relationships. From my personal experience, if you thought that you had prepared for obstacles or frauds, you would be extremely disappointed after being fooled countless times. For example, many of my friends who had chosen to live in the dormitory or rented a boarding house, after a few years, they turned out to be reliable and self-reliant.

Getting to the door of the college, you would have left most of your old friends behind since each person had their dreams and passions. If I were you, I would not be devastated because you will have the opportunities to make new relationships. In some colleges such as business schools, they will encourage you to enroll in some company that fits your major to earn experiences and accumulate relationships like potential-clients and partners.

Based on articles and stories about successful people, they all have in commons that is becoming independent from the early days and have remarkable communication skills. In conclusion, it is in my belief that college students should live away from home, for the reasons provided above.