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Posts by Hannah Robjn [Suspended]
Name: Hanh nguyen
Joined: Sep 5, 2020
Last Post: Oct 16, 2020
Threads: 3
Posts: 8  
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From: Vietnam

Displayed posts: 11
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Hannah Robjn   
Oct 16, 2020
Writing Feedback / Writing task 2: Community service should be a part of high school programmes [2]

Some people believe that community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example: working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports for younger children).

To what extend do you agree or disagree?



It is suggested that social service should be included in curriculum of high schoolers. I strongly disagree with this idea as I believe this would put young people under pressure and make them become easy targets for ulterior motives of scam charitable organizations.

Three years of high school are one of the most crucial phases of a person's life. First, it is the important stage for students to lay foundations for their future, which directly affects their success later in life. They are surely engrossed in their hectic study schedule both at school and at home; therefore, as expected, not every teenager at that age has ability to balance schooling and charity work. As a result, doing community service would soon turn into burden to them whereas it is supposed to be voluntary work filled with willingness and generosity.

At the same time, obligatory unpaid work raises concerns about using underaged labour. The number of volunteer organizations has increased roughly but lack of government's control can lead to serious consequences. It is a familiar scene on the internet where posts of disadvantaged children, degraded schools in remote areas,...are used to seek for support. However, not all of them are legal. Some take advantage of innocent and inexperienced youngsters to look for free workforce. For the sake of children, what we should do when young people have free time is to encourage them to relax after hours of studying.

In conclusion, in my opinion, putting community service into high school programmes may have negative effects on the well-being of children.
Hannah Robjn   
Oct 15, 2020
Writing Feedback / The conscription of Unpaid community service at high school - IELTS Task 2 agree or disagree [5]

As an IELTS learner myself, I believe this is not a standard format of task 2 writing. You only need 4 paragraphs.
Introduction: 2 sentences
Body 1 and 2: reasons and explanation 3-5 sentences (each paragraph has one topic sentences, supporting ideas and example)
Conclusion: 1 sentences
As I read, you divided your essay into 5 with 3 reasoning paragraphs, which is unnecessary. You should narrow down to 2 reasoning paragraphs only. Also, three of them have no topic sentences.
Hannah Robjn   
Oct 13, 2020
Writing Feedback / Increased human lifespans - IELTS task 2 advantages and disadvantages [3]

I will help you check your grammar, tenses and spelling as I still work on my writing skills.

"Nowadays, people have evolved
Many countries have witnessed a rise in the human lifespan. .."

"... have more opportunities to ... their relaxed life lives after many years of working hard.
... their grandchildren.
... almost all children having grandparents be together ..."

"... for society.
One negative effects of rise rising human lifespans ... and nursing homes.
... due to the people retiring later late retiring people..."
Hannah Robjn   
Oct 13, 2020
Writing Feedback / College is not the only way to success (No word limit) [3]

My teacher only gave me this topic and asked me to write a short essay without telling me word limit or essay structure. So I've written this in form of writing task 2:

Do what extend you agree or disagree

.

Some people believe university or college is not the best way to have a successful career. However, I partly agree with this view as I believe that people should purchase their dreams as well as have a degree in their profession.

In modern days, more and more stories about self-made millionaires have been told as inspirations of incredible success without having any diplomas. From such stories and belief of many people, working right after high school graduation has many surprising benefits. First, it is a chance for young people to have their first-hand experiences to earn money. Second, making a living is not a piece of cake but it is definitely the fastest way to become mature. Youngsters acknowledge the money's worth and are more careful with each penny spent once they join the workforce.

On the other hand, in reality, higher education is a more popular choice for several reasons. Firstly, to get employed by prestigious companies, employees are expected to meet compulsory requirements of qualifications. They are more likely to have a well-paid job and promising opportunities for future promotion. Furthermore, college provides the young with not only speciality knowledge but also suitable health care. They are well-prepared both mentally and physically and use everything leant as a stepping stone to cope with ups and downs in life.

All in all, going to college or working have their own advantages but in my opinion, university is a more stable option.
Hannah Robjn   
Oct 13, 2020
Writing Feedback / [WRITING TASK 1] The average on cell phone, national fixed line amd international fixed line service [4]

incresed
interntional
still keep
==> check your spelling and keep in mind to use past tense.

You use the word "spend on" too much.
"In 2001, the averge of US residents spent on
fluctating ==> again, spelling and past tense.

... consumers spent on cell ...
From 2006 onwards, ... services was skyrocket nearly to
... fixed line remained the same steady consumption." ==> grammar mistake and spelling.
Hannah Robjn   
Oct 13, 2020
Writing Feedback / Why "discovery" is important for me [4]

You really need to work hard on a lot of things if you want to improve your writing skills. You use a lot of informal words, acronym and unnecessary capital.
Hannah Robjn   
Sep 5, 2020
Writing Feedback / Write a reflection report on the group work you've done [3]

Dish report (kebab rice noodles)



Kebab rice noodles is one of the most popular dishes of Vietnamese traditional food. It is the favorite dish of many tourists when they come to visit Hanoi. Last week, I and my friends have done a comparative report about kebab rice noodles (or "bun cha" in Vietnamese) at two different places: famous Huong Lien restaurant and a small food store near Banking Academy. In this report, I am going to reflect about the progress of how we have done that comparative report.

The report is a home writing report and it lasts three weeks. Because it is a small project, it is divided into three steps. At the first step, we spent a week discussing on the topic. We brought up many ideas such as: drinks, game or cosmetic, but finally we chose foods as our topic and kebab rice noodles was the item to be compared. At the second step, we chose the places: Huong Lien restaurant and a small food store near Banking Academy. We went to each place and tasted the dish, took many photos as evidences. At the last step, we wrote the comparative report and prepared the presentation. Each member had her part of presentation and she had to finish it before the deadline.

During only three weeks, I leaned a lot. It surprised me when I tasted the dish of both places as the flavor is different from the other. It turned out each place had its own method of cooking. I also learned how to list out the basic standards to compare those two. It was not easy.

However, there were issues that I had to face when having the dish compared. It was not all about the flavor or the ingredients but it was also arrangement of the dish. It took time and effort to meet all the standards. In addition, we had different timetable and managed it together. Finally, I regretted that I could have done a better report.

What I do not like about the team work is that we spent much more time choosing topic than we should have, which makes us have little time writing personal report and literally no time for presentation. Fortunately, we did it quite well. Next time, I suggest we should spend just a week on topic and two weeks left for the other tasks. Plus, I find the comparative report a little time-wasting. The program should be narrowed down the topics as it is hard to choose a suitable one. However, this is the most interesting assignment have done. It is like trip to us and we had happy moments together.