Posts by ClockWork

ClockWork

Dec 28, 2020

Writing Feedback / Online shopping is becoming more popular. How could this trend affect our environment and the kinds [3]

I think there are some problems with your writing.
Firstly, your opinion seems to be illogical and unconvinced. I think you had noticed this but you didn't have any choices because of misunderstanding the question. The question meant if it had positive or negative effects on the environment. However, misunderstanding the question made you think that you have to write about the negative effects.

Secondly, I am not sure about the question as you didn't write it clearly but I think it is not necessary to talk about the solutions if the question doesn't require you to do it.

ClockWork

Dec 24, 2020

Writing Feedback / Task 2: To succeed in a business, one needs to know maths. To what extent do you agree or disagree [3]

I think there are some problems in your paragraph
First, your opinion in the paraphrase seems to be unrelated to your paragraph. In the paragraph, you agreed with the belief that math is essential but it is not the only way to become successful in business. However, in the paraphrase, you just said that people need to know math, at least the basic one, which will make the readers become confused.

Second, you have to add the sentence in the second paragraph to show that math is not the only way to become successful. Your second paragraph didn't indicate that and this makes readers think you are writing something unrelated to the question

That is all my opinion, I hope it will help you.

ClockWork

Dec 3, 2020

Writing Feedback / Ielts writing task 2: Shortage of food and genetically modified foods [4]

One of the most important issues facing the world today is a shortage of food and some think genetically modified foods are a possible solution

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, many countries have to face the problem of producing adequate food. And it is believed that the problems can be possibly solved by modifying foods genetically. While I agree that changing the gene of food can increase the quantity of it. I also believe that it has some drawbacks as it can affect the nutrient and reduce food's effectiveness.

On the one hand, with the development of technology, scientists are capable of modifying the food genetically to increase the quantity of food. Nowadays, much research is being carried out to create seeds that are able to produce a large number of fruits. If we move forward, not only will we create the seeds that can produce more fruits but we can also create the seeds which are able to reduce the harvest time.

On the other hand, artificial seeds or foods can have some drawbacks which can affect the nutrient inside the food. With the purpose to produce more food for people to eat, the nutrition of the food has been ignored. Eating the food without nutrients will affect our health and any motivation in modifying food genetically will be worthless. Not only that, if the food or seeds were able to hold the nutrient inside them and produce more food, the cost for them would be hard to afford. Especially the shortage of food seem to be the problem of many poor countries

In conclusion, although modifying food genetically can be an effective way to produce the amount of food worldwide, people should consider using it as its drawbacks.

ClockWork

Dec 1, 2020

Writing Feedback / Festival, describe Tet holiday [4]

There are some grammar mistakes that you should change
....~~the~~ New Year Eve
....because of my family reunion

In line 5 of the paragraph, you repeated the word 'Chung cake ' two times and I think you should use relative clause.

I think you shouldn't use the word ' trust me' or show your activities when you are writing the paragraph describing the holiday because it is unnecessary to do it

ClockWork

Nov 30, 2020

Writing Feedback / IELTS- Task 2: Building higher houses or lower but wider ones, which one is the better solution? [3]

try not to use your own language into english. ex: taking having...
I think you should change ' I am in total approval...' into ' I totally agree..' or ' I totally approve..'

ClockWork

Oct 15, 2020

Writing Feedback / Printed newspapers in the future can be replaced [3]

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with that statement?

It has been argued that future printed newspapers will be replaced since people can access all kinds of information for free. I completely agree with this opinion because of 2 main reasons which will be discussed in this essay

Firstly, reading online newspapers are free and convenient. Owning devices such as smartphone, e-book,.. which are capable of connecting internet become easier and cheaper. Poor people are affordable to buy a new smartphone with low price. So that any individuals can have a device to read online newspapers or books. There are many searching tools such as google, edge,... and many online newspapers applications. With this, people can read all kinds of information and up to date news without limited and they dont have to pay for those information. That is the reason why some journalists decided to write new articles in web so readers can reach the information quickly and precisively.

Another reason is printed newspapers can harm to the environment. Using online newspapers, which journalists can write their articles by their computer and smartphone and post it into the internet. So that everyone can read it without harming environment. But printed newspapers are different from them, to produce large amounts of newspapers everydays, publishers have to use a lot of papers to print on it. Futhermore, it is unable for them to produce a precisive munbers of newspapers everyday. So there will be a lot of extra newspapers and after a day, they will become trash which affect the environment without carefully management.

In conclusion, online newspapers or books are not only convenient and free, but also environmentally friendly than reading printed newspapers or books