Posts by Ranee

Ranee

Oct 13, 2021

Writing Feedback / IELTS - taking a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience [8]

@iam5102

Hi @iam5102, I have some comments for you.

I think the way you structure your essay is very good, clear and easy to follow. You also have 2 supporting points to prove your opinion, which is crucial.

However, I spotted some grammatical errors:
+) crucial
+) "a university students",
+) I don't usually see a comma "," before "and",
+) ... which is related to choosing majors in college)

And in the last paragraph, I think you didn't restate both reasons of yours, just one. And I think this ending sentence "So if it is possible and in need,..." should be more formal.

Hope it'll be useful for you. Thank you. :))

Ranee

Oct 13, 2021

Writing Feedback / (IELTS)It's a good or bad trend when it comes to only one language for all people in the world? [8]

@William Tran

I think your writing has a clear structure and points presented in 4 paragraphs, which is really good. I can see your 'investment' for impressive lexical words, too.

However, I have some contributive comments that I hope may improve your writing as follow:

Firstly, as far as I research, it will be more highly rated and easier for you if you just pick negative or positive side (just pick one). But I think it's optional.

Secondly, I can see the way you write and use words/ phrases may be a little eccessive. For example,
"..." I would like to cut it down to "On the one hand, the most noticeable advantage is.."

or
"..." I would write "On the other hand,.." only as you already say On one hand in previous paragraph.

Thirdly, I spotted unfit word choice such as "translating instrumentals" (-> translating tools), "the whole people" (-> human being).

It's my opinion. Hope it will be useful to you :))

Ranee

Sep 27, 2021

Writing Feedback / IELTS PART 2 - READING PRINTED NEWSPAPERS/ BOOKS OR READING ONLINE? [2]

In the future, nobody will read printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

(Write at least 250 words)

The technological and digital advancement has brought about numerous development in human society and apparently, media - communication is not an exception. The swift popularity of televisions, computers, smart phones and other modern technological devices has switched people's habit of reading printed newspapers or books to reading online without being charged. In my point of view, this trend will increasingly be prevalent in the near future because of the advantages of easy access and good savings.

First of all, reading online now is easier than ever when people can access to the latest news or updated books by utilizing smart phones or computers which are mostly must - own items for everybody. Comparing to commuting to bookstores, libraries or newspapers shops to get a real printed version, picking information online is much more convenient. Furthermore, by going online, readers are able to seek for specific information they need and even watch related videos or hear relevant audios, which is far more lively and enjoyable.

In addition, the fee for accessing online newspapers now is almostly free of charge while people have to pay for traditional printed newspapers if they have needs for them. In addition, it also takes time and money for paper delivering and distributing service, which is somehow costly. For books, there are currently phone applications and devices for reading books online such as Google Books, Apple Books, Watpad or Kindle in which you can have access to many books with minimal costs compared to printed form.

In a nutshell, online reading offers readers numerous benefits such as handy accessibility and low cost. I believe that this new form of reading will soom became prominent and gradually alter traditional printed books and newspapers.

Ranee

Sep 27, 2021

Writing Feedback / The prompt: Many people leave their home country and go to other countries to live and work. [4]

@Thuyan1211
In my opinion, your essay is clearly structured with Introduction, 2 body passages and Conclusion, which is good.
However, I have some comments based on my own experience:
In introduction, I would like to add 1 - 2 leading sentences to make the opening smoothier by referring to Globalization or something like that ^^
About pointing reasons of living and working in other countries, it think it would be better if you can support the sencond passage with 2 reasons that might strongly prove your opinions. (Besides, I see in the Introduction you already wrote " several reasons")

The third paragraph looks fine to me
The conclusion should be restate reason(s) and your opinion more strongly, I believe.

That's my personal thought. Hope it will be helpful to you :))

Ranee

Sep 26, 2021

Writing Feedback / Love always wins! REVIEW OF A FILM [4]

I think as a film review, it would be more interesting and appealing for readers if you show your passionate words/compiments and detailed attractive points of the movie.

In term of structure and requried bullet points, generally I think it's good. However, would be better if you can state the year of publish as well as the cast right after the introduction.

Hope that this will be helpful for you :))

Ranee

Sep 14, 2021

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - ENVIRONMENT PROBLEMS: THE LOSS OF ANIMALS AND PLANTS OR OTHER ISSUES? [4]

Please help me better my writing by giving your feedbacks on my structure, grammar, vocabulary and idea. I will really appreciate it. Thank for reading!

Some people say that the main environmentalproblem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say there are more important environmental problems.

Discuss both theses views and give your own opinion.

Write at least 250 words

Over the last several decades, human society has been experienced the most rapid development ever with the powerful hand of scientific and technological advancement. In spite of making people's life much more convenient and enjoyable, this, more dangerously, causes serious harm to our environmental health.

Some people think that the main problem we are facing now is the loss of wide range of animals and plants, which is obviously explainable: the more the society grows, the more resources we need to satisfy our increasing demands. The global population has reached around 9 billion which is much more than that of the last century. As there are more people, we expand our territory further for both living and exploiting natural resources. As a result, the land we are using briskly overlap that of fauna and flora, which cause natural vegetation to disappear and all animals living in it to have no place to hide. If this continues to happen, those plants and animals may stand in the brink of extintion and in fact, many of them are.

In addition, there are also numerous other environmental issues we need to be aware of such as plastic waste or air pollution, etc. The single-use consumerism is quickly becoming prevailing in the present time while people use a lot of disposable cups, straws, boxes for just one time, which day by day piles up in our ocean poisoning marine species. Furthermore, the birth of new affordable bikes, cars and other means of transportation put more of them on the road, which emits tons of released gas every year. Undoutedly, the air we are breathing is contanminated in a blink of an eye.

In my point of view, there are lots of environmental problems including those above need to be concerned by both governments and public so that we can join hands and protect our living habitat, keep it safe and clean for our descendants.