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IELTS - taking a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience


iam5102 2 / 3  
Oct 7, 2021   #1
Prompt: Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience.

Do you think this is a good idea or a waste of time?



Most students tend to go straight for university right after their graduation. However, there has been a popular trend to take a year off before attending college among youngsters. From my perspective, having a year off to take journeys, or to pick up some more knowledge is totally beneficial for future students.

Firstly, it is immensely helpful to take a gap year before becoming a university students emotionally. For example, imminent students can utilize their free time to make journeys, or to have fun in vacations. And I believe that having some time to relax, and to settle down mentally is absolutely reasonable because in order to graduate high school, students have spent loads of their time to study, and to overcome the tests, so it is nice if they can have fun for a while.

Secondly, youngsters can also gain new real-life experiences which may be useful for academic purposes could not found in schools. For instance, many gap-year takers have their first jobs or part-time jobs which related to chosen majors in college. Therefore, those can obtain experiences, and save money for their tuition fees spontaneously. Therefore, having some time off instead of jumping right into studying after finishing high school is quite good for students' university life.

In summary, a gap year can be really necessary and crutial for a certain amount of students who have just finished taking the entrance examination. Because 12 months free are enough for students to prepare themselves mentally and emotionally before heading to campuses. So if it is possible and in need, feel free to take a gap year.

- 299 words -
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,700 3784  
Oct 9, 2021   #2
Good work on the restatement + opinion. It is clear, adherent to the original presentation, and properly formatted in terms of response format expectations. In fact, the writer shows a clear understanding of the discussion expectations. The reasons are on point and do not stray from the onginal. The explanations and examples are cohesive and coherent. A hugely important scoring aspect is continuously met. This is a well developed discussion essay but, it is far from perfect.

The writer has a tendency to use English slang such as

students have spent loads of their time to study

rather than the formal academic presentation. The proper reference is, "a great deal of time". More familiarity with Singular V. Plural rules is also needed as the writer mired the use of a singular indefinite article (a) with a plural word form (students).
gianggiangvn 5 / 12 2  
Oct 13, 2021   #3
Your writing is clear and understandable with clear supporting ideas. That is what I saw at first.

There are some things I recommend:
Don't you And (or coordinating conjunction in general) to start a sentence. In addition, those linking words seem informal. You can use therefore, as a result, thus in stead "so"; however, nonetheless,... in stead of but.

Try not to use too many informal words or slang in a academic work.

Some grammar mistakes I have noticed:
students have ...
Correction: ... spent most of their time studying and overcoming the tests...
SPEND + TIME/ MONEY + PRESENT PARTICIPLE (V-ING)

Correction: ... for academic purposes and could not be found in schools
I believe that real-life experiences were what you wanted to talk about and was a subject of this clause.

Therefore, those ... Therefore, having ...

Two "therefore" located too near. You should choose another word or rewrite the idea in another way.
Moreover, you started your sentences with many Present Participle (V-ING). Try applying another way.

That is my suggestion. I wish it would help somehow.
Ranee 2 / 6 3  
Oct 13, 2021   #4
@iam5102

Hi @iam5102, I have some comments for you.

I think the way you structure your essay is very good, clear and easy to follow. You also have 2 supporting points to prove your opinion, which is crucial.

However, I spotted some grammatical errors:
+) crucial
+) "a university students",
+) I don't usually see a comma "," before "and",
+) ... which is related to choosing majors in college)

And in the last paragraph, I think you didn't restate both reasons of yours, just one. And I think this ending sentence "So if it is possible and in need,..." should be more formal.

Hope it'll be useful for you. Thank you. :))
gbach 3 / 6  
Oct 13, 2021   #5
graduate high school --> graduate from high school

Secondly, youngsters can also gain new real-life experiences which may be useful for academic purposes could not found in schools --> Secondly, youngsters can also gain new real-life experiences which may be useful for academic purposes that could not be found in schools

a gap year can be really necessary and crutial for a certain amount of students who have just finished taking the entrance examination --> a gap year can be really necessary and crucial for a certain number of students who have just finished taking the entrance examination

Your essay is good, just a few grammar errors needed re-correcting. Good luck!!
kevpink11 1 / 2  
Oct 14, 2021   #6
@iam5102
I really like your thought process in the essay. Your ideas are clearly elevated and well thought out. Consider replacing the words "firstly" and/or "secondly" for something more complex. All in all this is a clearcut, and simple response to a clear prompt. Well done!
BAO CHAU 1 / 1  
1 day ago   #7
@iam5102
In stead of using 'pick up some more knowledge', you can use 'gain more knowledge'. By the way, your writing sounds very natural and easy to understand.
gianggiangvn 5 / 12 2  
1 day ago   #8
@gbach
graduate university is not incorrect.
Check again ^^


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