Writing Feedback / IELTS 1 Line graph - The proportion of possessing various tools powered by electricity / chores time [2]

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and ammount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graphs demonstrate not only the proportion of possessing various tools powered by electricity but also how long it took people in a nation to do chores throughout a century long duration from 1920. Overall, it is depicted in the first picture all three figures grew, and most equipments had been fulfilled in houses other than the laundry device. Meanwhile, via the second one, a downward trend could be witnessed in the amount of housework time.

In terms of electical appliances, washing machines were previously the most popular equipment among all and doubled their statistic in the end, but they were outnumbered by the other two in 2019. This increment was too minimal compared with those of the vacuum washer and the fridge which both had rocketed and reached 100% in 1980 and 20 years later, respectively. Noticeably, this had yet been obtained by the laundry property.

Glancing at the second chart, it is highlighted that surveyees had been taking a smaller part in accomplishing chores. Their number of working hours spent a week had plummeted by more than half from 50 hours until 1960 when the changes were not as significantly as before, and the data was kept quite stable between 10 and 20 for the next 5 decades. (209)

I am wondering if my grammar structure is comprehensive enough because sometimes I feel I overwrite sentences. I will also be very grateful for your feedback!

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Writing Feedback / IELTS 1: PROCESS OF PLASTICS RECYCLING; Report the main features, and make relevant comparisons [2]

The diagram below shows the recycling process of plastics.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The picture depicts a sequence of the plastic treatment. Overall, it consists of two primary stages, one of which is the manufacture of recycled bottles and the other is after usage, and that period mostly depends on whether the customers would litter or not.

Initially, after gathering the previously wasted products among which plastics will get filtered, workers will transport them to the main factories. It is illustrated that this place is where products may come out and get delivered into stores for public sale. At this point, buyers, after consuming the output, will have to make a decision significantly contributing to the whole process as recycling circle will once again restart if no bottles are wastefully thrown away.

Otherwise, already used goods made from plastic are going to become a complete source of waste without a capability of being reused anymore. Ultimately, unless people learn to reduce pollution, this material is projected to join the garbage dump in this scenario.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS 2 Agree/Disagree: Festival - people just enjoy themselves during this time [2]

Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Over the past few years, varied cultural events have no longer remained their spirits as most attendees join in just for their own excitement. I strongly comply with this view on the grounds that festive occasions are now more of a business than a religious preservation it used to be.

Admittedly, festivals attract a massive inflow of money. In other words, many travellers indulge in going on tours whose tickets include a visit to tribal villages since they are bored with normal sightseeing destinations, and those areas do allow incomers to enjoy their distinct long-lasting traditions. For instance, trips to far-flung mountains are especially engaged by wealthy families in Sai Gon who accept to spend immensely travelling to have a life-time opportunity to dance and play with the tribes during their commemorations. Therefore, it is money that significantly contributes to a serious loss of meaning of plentiful cultural events.

Furthermore, religious conservation is by no means a pivotal reason of organizing festive occasions anymore. In retrospect, attendees were from only surrounding neighborhoods, and they came to celebrate memorable achievements only; however, it is inevitable that those parities are now occuring so often that most members of a religion may feel such events dull and not special. It can also be argued that if festivals had not been increasingly organized, it would be too scarce for the tribe to meet one another and have tribal activities. On the contrary, people used to survive without losing cultures with the same frequency, so there is no reason why modern humans have to take part in more.

In conclusion, during traditional celebrations, people tend to enjoy themselves in lieu of remembering the true meaning. This is because earnings are of a greater necessity than protecting the traditions.