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Posts by robyag6
Joined: Nov 27, 2009
Last Post: Jan 4, 2010
Threads: 1
Posts: 11  

From: Mexico

Displayed posts: 12
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robyag6   
Dec 31, 2009
Undergraduate / Yale Supplement - the Pitbull's grin [22]

It's an adorable story by the way, very well written.. I should have added that :)

and like NKBaseballbum18 said, you're just missing some closure.
robyag6   
Dec 31, 2009
Undergraduate / Yale Supplement - the Pitbull's grin [22]

mum

unless you're British you might as well stick to MOM... or at least use only one of the two variants.. mom-voice /mum

;D
robyag6   
Dec 30, 2009
Undergraduate / From one school to another...Why? [7]

I think your essay is pretty well written, it gets the point through, just one suggestion, you might want to add a transition around this part

...the close of my freshman year in high school, I was given an opportunity to change everything. The Jewish Community High School of the Bay sits in San Francisco, two hours by car from...

maybe you should state that you were given the change to attend the Jewsish Community High School of the Bay since at first I thought that this was your old school. Hope this makes sense/helps!!
robyag6   
Dec 26, 2009
Undergraduate / BU "Three adjectives that describe yourself" Essay [8]

I re-wrote my essay after some person said it was too generic... this person got suspended because he/she was telling everyone that their essays were too generic/cliche/unoriginal/inferior etc... ughhhh!
robyag6   
Dec 25, 2009
Undergraduate / BU "Three adjectives that describe yourself" Essay [8]

In an essay of no more than 500 words, please select three words that describe you best and tell us how you will use these qualities / characteristics to contribute fully to the BU community.

Please comment and/or edit, anything is deeply appreciated. Thanks in advance!

The Model United Nations program at my school first caught my attention when I was in sixth grade. I am glad that I became interested in the program, since it has helped me acquire certain characteristics that have deemed themselves beneficial to others and myself.

I am proud to say that one of the qualities that I posses is the ability to be organized; I bask in the beauty of order. I like planning things and ensuring that everything will work out all right. Being part of the Model United Nations Secretariat class at my school has taught me the importance of being organized. Our class, made up of twenty-nine students and an advisor, plans and hosts an international Model UN simulation each year that a thousand students and advisors attend. Organization is the principal skill needed in order to plan a successful simulation. My skills have helped my department of Logistics plan an orderly schedule that will be used throughout the rest of the school year. This plan will hopefully lead us towards hosting a great simulation next February.

The MUN program encourages students to think globally, however, local problems are given the same amount of importance. As a student of my school's MUN course, I am involved in various community service projects that the MUN Secretariat class organizes. Each year, students go trick-or-treating for UNICEF donations in order to help sustain public education in Mexico. We also host the annual Clean-Up Huasteca National Park, where hundreds of garbage bags are filled up with abandoned waste found in the park. During the IMMUNS simulation, us students take delegates to visit the elderly who have been abandoned by their families at a local retirement home. These are just some of the projects that the MUN program organizes and that I have been a part of. Nevertheless, I have learned from my community and have had great experiences while doing so.

Growing up, I was a reserved child, however, my involvement in the MUN program required me to let go of my shy nature. As a delegate, I had to talk to other people and form alliances with delegates that shared my opinions. I also made new friendships with the people that I met during these simulations. As a member of the Secretariat class, I have the task of talking to teachers, possible simulation sponsors, and other adult figures. I like meeting and talking to new people and my participation in the MUN program has helped me flourish into a sociable person.

My involvement with the MUN program has helped me develop qualities that describe me as organized, humanitarian, and amicable. I know that these strengths will be useful in my future years. I am positive that these characteristics would make me a great addition to the Boston University class of 2014, where I would be able to offer my organizational skills, participate in community service events, and make friendships that will hopefully last a lifetime.
robyag6   
Dec 23, 2009
Undergraduate / Famous New Yorker, Poem, 2050 movie... (NYU SUPPLEMENTS) [7]

I loved your poem!

However one day, God swap James' life to a poor man in Africa to experience how hard life really is.

Just a tip.. don't start a sentence with the word "however" try to incorporate it some other way.
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