Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by happyhours
Joined: Nov 28, 2009
Last Post: Nov 29, 2009
Threads: 2
Posts: 8  

Displayed posts: 10
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
happyhours   
Nov 29, 2009
Undergraduate / "Experiences and involvements" - uc prompt1 [5]

listing those activities you'd participated shows how passionate and hard working you are. pretty strong essay with a strong motivation of yours.

Wanna feed back mine?:-)
happyhours   
Nov 29, 2009
Undergraduate / UC Prompt #2: My Future as a Comedian [5]

I loved your essay! you have a good idea and your sentences flow well :) I can easily see your personality from your essay.

Feed back mine?:)
happyhours   
Nov 29, 2009
Undergraduate / UC prompt #2- mission trip to Cambodia [NEW]

I desperately need your kind help! Feel free to critique!
i'm tired so i must be have alot of grammars and weird sentence structures

Prompt #2 (all applicants)
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

At 6p.m., the street is filled with traffic coming back from work. The sun becomes dark and soon the aroma of food floats in the air. From houses and stores, we easily grab what we want to eat as much as we want. To me, food meant just a tool to please my tongue before I mission-tripped to the other side of the Earth, Cambodia, where the fortune of abundance slid by.

The day started before the other team members. Since I was a co-leader of team, I had to wake up in every early morning to pray and discuss about daily tasks with the other team leaders and teachers. Being a leader required many patience and wisdom. When one of my members made a problem, I was the one who had to take the responsibility, representing all the misbehaviors of my team. Leading a team was demanding but also was worthwhile with invaluable lessons I learned from the experience.

The sand storm swirled out from the ground and houses were poorly built by couple of lumbers and leaves. This Cambodian village was where people in poverty lived at and I went in to the village for the first time with my missionary team. We were holding tens of bags carrying breads, costumes and Korean tambourines. We planned to show them a Korean choreography to interchange our culture and also planned to give out bread to the kids. Our plans seemed going through smoothly and our months of practice were fruitful. I enjoyed times meeting Cambodians despite of the thick language barrier.

I was standing in the middle of the village, giving out bread to kids with my team. We were surrounded by noise yelling and fighting to get bread. Meanwhile, we noticed that same kids were coming back for multiple times. I told to a teacher about kids coming back, concerning if bread would run out for the other kids. The teacher smiled and said bread was enough so let them to get more bread. Instantly, I realized that the kids carried breads to their families to share with. I had to form a broader perspective to lead my team and myself to our common goal; to help people. When I went back, the same kids were still coming back. This time, I gave them bread with cheerfully smiling.

Even though it was ordinary bread that we could easily find around, the bread was vital source to live to the Cambodians. When I cognized their conditions through a deeper and wider perspective, the bread of maturity and wisdom fed my hungry self.
happyhours   
Nov 28, 2009
Undergraduate / My Father, My Hero - Free Response for UC [3]

Your essay is interesting but is too much about your father... talk more about yourself then it will be an appealing essay :)

Feel free to give me a feed back !
happyhours   
Nov 28, 2009
Undergraduate / UC 1: My world is a fishbowl [4]

I liked your essay! you have a similar idea with mine:) Come and leave a comment for my personal statement please-and feel free to criticize !! :D
happyhours   
Nov 28, 2009
Undergraduate / UC PROMPT 2.- Important experience. [6]

We indeed have a similar topic haha. your essay looks good so far! Nice contrast between Korean and American cultures. However,. I think it would be more appealing if you write more about yourself . Thanks for commenting mine :)Good luck!
happyhours   
Nov 28, 2009
Undergraduate / UC PROMPT #1- A Frog in a Well; I decided to hop out to a new world ending the years of hesitation [3]

prompt1 (freshman applicants)
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

-A Frog in a Well

The tutoring finished at very late night. I managed to pull my body tired from circuiting around same daily routine-go to the school, study, go to the after school, study, and go home and then fall asleep. Loosening the bowtie of my white uniform blouse, I walked to home under the little piece of sky. A thousand of vocabulary words and the names of the ancient Korean kings that I memorized for whole day were brushed away as the night wind blew through me. In this summer night, the frogs far beyond the mountain croaked in harmony. I hummed a song under my breath, but my own voice could not even reach to my ears. The louder those frogs croaked, the more I felt myself feel like a frog in a well, squeezed into a standardized life routine.

I decided to hop out...
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳