Writing Feedback / essay about universities should give the same money tos student's lib and sport [4]

I will be so thankful if correct my writting

Some people believe that universities should give the same amount of money to their student's sports activities as they give to their libraries. However, others voiced their opposition toward mentioned opinion. I am strongly opposed with the former notion, and I have some reasons for holding my opinion.

As is known to all, university is a place where students go there to exercise their brain not their body. So, it is not logical that universities give the same amount of money to fulfill two mentioned purposes, and should give the highest priority for learning and materials that it needs, and improve libraries.

Furthermore, the majority of students are reluctant to do sports activities. According to the last broadsheet of Tehran University of technology, the half of students like my brother does not take their compulsory sport course until the last year of their studies. On the other hand, there are a lot of students that attend in the library to use university books for focusing on fundamental materials of their university courses. In such circumstances, it will be more beneficiary that universities spend money for libraries.

For the last reason, in my estimate, university science and technical books are so expensive. For instance, last month I paid nearly 100 dollar for two books in computer science field that is named networks and distributed systems in Linux, and I abandoned any hope for going to my hometown due to lack of money. The average of students do not afford such extras expenses for buying books, and so the students without books can not obtain qualifications that they will need to secure a good job and the life ahead of them. As a result, universities should not give the same amount of money to their student's sports activities as they give to their libraries.

To sum up, as far as I am concerned, sport activities must be improved in sport colleges. Obtain qualifications that students need, giving the highest priority for learning in universities, and reducing expenses for students are all merits that will be available by improving libraries not sport activities

Writing Feedback / essay about TV has destroyed communication among friends. (agree or disagree) [6]

I will be so thankful for my revising my new essay

Many reports reveal that television is a great menace for destroying communication among friends and family. On the other hand, others are opposed with mentioned notion.

In my vision, the first opinion is true and I have some reasons for holding my opinion.

For the first, good communication among friends is not advertised by news and also violence is increasing on television programs. For instance, last month Iran news showed that the child is burglarized in dinner party by their close family friend owing to money and child molesting. From an emotional angle, the majority of parents is impressed by news and believes that mentioned problems at least can be prevented by eliminating communication among their friends.

According to many statistics and reports, the average of people change the way for spending their leisure time by reclining in front of television and watch television programs for at least four hours a day. In elderly generation, our parents went to each other houses and strengthen relationship and family communication. But for instance, last night I squander seven hours for watching my favorite sport programs. So, I had to cancel my appointment with my friend for the third time. In my estimate, human desires for watching television can not be quenched and replaced by communication with friends.

Finally, as is known to all, we can find every thing that we need on television programs from cooking to educational programs. As a result, we really do not need to communicate with our friends with different background for learning. It is a reason that can destroy communication among friends.

To sum up, violence advertising, changing in spending leisure time and finding comprehensive programs on television are all reasons that can destroy communication among friends.

Writing Feedback / An essay about build a new factory near our community [3]

A company has announced that it wishes to build a factory near our community. There are a lot of negative and positive affects if mentioned factory is built. As far as I am concerned, disadvantages outweigh advantages.

The first negative aspect is that There is no doubt that environment is in trouble. Factories burn fossil fuels which make acid rain and it kills trees. Greenhouse gases rise into the air which contribute global warming and threaten to melt ice polar cab. We can not ignore this fact that all living creatures from small to large which make our balanced ecosystem will be destroyed by human greedy. We as humans inherit the earth but it does not mean that we can do whatever we want to it.

As is known to all, technology has been improved along in the past fifty years by large factories and improves our lives as a result. On the other hand, this opportunity led to mass automation and one of the negative aspects of mentioned factor is that a lot of people will loose their job at once and only a few workers with unstable job will be hired. Under such circumstances, many reports in IRAN reveal that there are lots of unemployment people who are ready to work for minimum salary. Also, workers who hired will welcome to live in the vicinity of factory. As a result, I will see densely populated countryside. It will be disaster for me.

It is not fair that not to mention the positive aspects of proposal. We are living in constantly changing world and if we want to keep ourselves up to date, we will need these factories to quench human desires.

To sum up, disadvantages outweigh advantages .air pollution, making densely population and crowded countryside, workers firing, and unbalanced ecosystem are all problems that are come from building new factory near our community. When we take all these mentioned risks into an account, we really feel sorry.

thanks a millon

Writing Feedback / Food has become easier to prepare. Has this change or improve the way that people live? [3]

Essay about the food has become easier to prepare

please correct my toefl essay about the food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improve the way that people live?

We are living in constantly changing world. Food has become easier to prepare and some people believe that this change has improved the way people live for a variety of reasons. In contrast, others are opposed with mentioned change and believe that we loose the quality and healthy condition of food for instance. As far as I am concerned, advantages outweigh the disadvantages of this change.

As is known to all, we are living in constantly changing world. So, we must keep ourselves up to date and obtain knowledge from numerous sources. We must live with this knowledge that education and obtaining knowledge is long process that not only provides us basic skills and it is a powerful tool that can abolish nearly all problems To fulfill this purpose we must save our time and not to squander it by doing something useless such as time consuming cooking. Easy food preparing gave us this opportunity to save time and improve our lives ahead of us. For instance twenty years ago, if we wanted to prepare stew we needed three or four hours for buying, cleaning, washing and etc. but today everything is prepared and stews food preparing last twenty minutes only..

The next reason for my preference is health. There are a lot of factors such as vitamin that are considered by food factories. Prepared food is genetically modified and they will not allowed to sell until Scientist prove that they are healthy for both people and environment. This factor improve the way people live because it increases life expectancy and makes a great deal thanks to modern prepared food.

Also, we can not ignore this fact that modern food factories that are built for this generation gave a job opportunity to job hunters and unemployment people that are ready to work for minimum salary. So, in first step it might be ridiculous but if we pay attention to this fact we will comprehend that this factor interfere with the way that people live and improve their lives.

To sum up, time saving, healthy and job opportunity are all benefits that are come from mentioned source.

Thanks a million
robert