Christinasha07
Dec 9, 2010
Essays / "The High Price of Materialism" - Introduction Help [4]
thadmoore
Thank you! Your suggestions were very helpful.
thadmoore
Thank you! Your suggestions were very helpful.
Christinasha07
Dec 8, 2010
Essays / "The High Price of Materialism" - Introduction Help [4]
I need help restructuring my introduction, especially the bold sentences.
Material objects shouldn't be the central interest in a person's life, as Tim Kasser explains in his article "The High Price of Materialism". Materials damages relationships and shouldn't be the basis of creating new ones. The pursue of materials cause depression, anxiety and health problems because of the effort needed to earn them. Materials don't guarantee happiness; as it is falsely portrayed in the media. Materialism prevents people from living a fulfilling life because their main concern is on earning materials instead of valuing their relationships and well-beings.
I need help restructuring my introduction, especially the bold sentences.
Material objects shouldn't be the central interest in a person's life, as Tim Kasser explains in his article "The High Price of Materialism". Materials damages relationships and shouldn't be the basis of creating new ones. The pursue of materials cause depression, anxiety and health problems because of the effort needed to earn them. Materials don't guarantee happiness; as it is falsely portrayed in the media. Materialism prevents people from living a fulfilling life because their main concern is on earning materials instead of valuing their relationships and well-beings.
Christinasha07
Dec 9, 2009
Student Talk / Exam passing tips - its my final year [71]
A good way to remember certain things is to keep writing them down. I've heard that a person remembers 80% of what they write down rather than just trying memorize it.
A good way to remember certain things is to keep writing them down. I've heard that a person remembers 80% of what they write down rather than just trying memorize it.
Christinasha07
Dec 9, 2009
Faq, Help / Question about EssayForum - How does this site work? [103]
Essay Forum is definitely a great site to improve on essays. People check your essays and give their advice about your work and in the end you choose what you want to do. It's great.
Essay Forum is definitely a great site to improve on essays. People check your essays and give their advice about your work and in the end you choose what you want to do. It's great.
Christinasha07
Dec 9, 2009
Undergraduate / "I can accomplish any melody" - common app short answer [15]
Title - " My Love for the Sitar"
Title - " My Love for the Sitar"
Christinasha07
Dec 9, 2009
Undergraduate / My parents allow me to express myself as an individual; Tufts-'Let your life speak.' [12]
Unlike most Indian parents, mines allow me to express myself as an individual. A tiled mural that I helped my mother create when I was six enhances the antique wooden door to our apartment.
I was never under any pressure to perform, yet I began learning tennis and ballet, art and music at an extremely young age. My parents respected my decision not to study science after Grade 10, although Indian society largely believes that 'all intelligent children study science because it is the only way to get into a good American University and get a good job.
I have been exposed to Indian stereotypes such as this my entire life. I have been lucky enough to be born into a relatively liberal family and to have attended two liberal, non traditional schools. I have always tried to break these stereotypes and continue my work .
At school or at home, I have never stopped asking questions: '' How does the remote control the TV?'' or '' How come the fan doesn't cut air molecules?''
Always adventurous, my friends and I would often cycle around the neighborhood or go boating in the nearby Sankey tank. When we celebrated festivals in the neighborhood, we would share our colors or crackers with the street children and even grew to be friends with some of them.
On a cross-country ride at age 11 my horse tripped over a log. I fell, and then refused to re-mount. My instructor gave me an ultimatum: "Either follow us on your horse, or wait here for hours for our return'' I realized then that giving up is never an option. I stand by that choice.
Unlike most Indian parents, mines allow me to express myself as an individual. A tiled mural that I helped my mother create when I was six enhances the antique wooden door to our apartment.
I was never under any pressure to perform, yet I began learning tennis and ballet, art and music at an extremely young age. My parents respected my decision not to study science after Grade 10, although Indian society largely believes that 'all intelligent children study science because it is the only way to get into a good American University and get a good job.
I have been exposed to Indian stereotypes such as this my entire life. I have been lucky enough to be born into a relatively liberal family and to have attended two liberal, non traditional schools. I have always tried to break these stereotypes and continue my work .
At school or at home, I have never stopped asking questions: '' How does the remote control the TV?'' or '' How come the fan doesn't cut air molecules?''
Always adventurous, my friends and I would often cycle around the neighborhood or go boating in the nearby Sankey tank. When we celebrated festivals in the neighborhood, we would share our colors or crackers with the street children and even grew to be friends with some of them.
On a cross-country ride at age 11 my horse tripped over a log. I fell, and then refused to re-mount. My instructor gave me an ultimatum: "Either follow us on your horse, or wait here for hours for our return'' I realized then that giving up is never an option. I stand by that choice.
Christinasha07
Dec 8, 2009
Undergraduate / "I now understand the value family" - Michigan Setback [5]
I taught the essay was really sad and sweet. It had a lot of good points,its similar to my story. I also agree with the error above and I think you should add more details and organize a bit more.
I taught the essay was really sad and sweet. It had a lot of good points,its similar to my story. I also agree with the error above and I think you should add more details and organize a bit more.
Christinasha07
Dec 8, 2009
Undergraduate / Macaulay Honors Essay-Discuss some issue of national, or international concern [5]
The essay is good. I think the 2nd paragraph should go more towards the end. My dad picked me up from school, whichiswas unusual because he was usually still working when I finished school.
The essay is good. I think the 2nd paragraph should go more towards the end. My dad picked me up from school, which
Christinasha07
Dec 8, 2009
Letters / Letter of Recommendation to an MSc Supply Chain Management [4]
I thinks it a good letter of recommendation. It has everything needed in there.
I thinks it a good letter of recommendation. It has everything needed in there.
Christinasha07
Dec 8, 2009
Writing Feedback / WISH FOR CHRISTMAS [3]
Soon after Iknew realized you were busing to take busy taking care of your uncle. HeWho was the one? was the one who was abandoned from his sons and daughters. Although I know that you are kind,I feel unhappy from the bottom of my heart because you didn't tell me what happened to you. If you told me you were busy, I never would have force you to go out with me. On the contrary, I would encourage you to carry on with your duty.
Soon after I
Christinasha07
Dec 8, 2009
Research Papers / Paper on Euthanasia-How to argue it can be research paper & not just persuasive [5]
I think Euthanasia is a great idea! I would say just write more about Euthanasia and what's happening and don't write much about your opinion
I think Euthanasia is a great idea! I would say just write more about Euthanasia and what's happening and don't write much about your opinion