Undergraduate / Uchicago "Describe a road that you know (real, imagined or metaphorical)" Essay [8]

I was confused at first on your first paragraph, I think you should make it easier to understand. Mention that it is your birth. And maybe say "for the next 17 years I would travel a road.." because I was thinking it was a literal road at first...

I think with so many essays to read the admission people will just be skimming and they might get confused too...like me

Poetry / "untouched from pain" - Poem for NYU [4]

it sounds a little weak and fluffy but I love the bird in the oak tree part, but when you go into the dove and love it's like meehh...it's just not as strong as the beginning

and why are you untouched by pain? It makes you sound wierd...everybody feels pain

Undergraduate / "healing power of spontaneity" - NYU Supplement [8]

you said you pointed on a map and said "here"
that part of your essay sounded the best to me, not many kids I know are that spontaneous...if you really did do that, I would give specifique examples to make it sound more believable...otherwise it just sounds fluffy, like it's just figurative, like you didn't actually do that..

would you mind reviewing mine also?

Undergraduate / NYU supplement- 2050 movie, May 21, 2027 [7]

So far I know you like to sing and you want to find a cure for cancer...but why? what has happened in your life to make you passionate about these things. I want to know more about your personality, why you are the way you are...

Undergraduate / USC Essay + NYU Short answers critique [12]

In case you didn't know, the NYU supplements are 500 characters (with spaces)so you have a lot of shortening to do

Undergraduate / NYU Supplement - famous New Yorker, year 2050, short poem [15]

I agree with your dad on the last line of the poem. Don't end with a question, end with a strong statement that NYU people will never forget. Maybe even make the second to last line a question, and the last line its answer. But you don't want to sound questioning at the end, you want to come off sounding strong and assertive.

What borders? What Obstacles?
Well whatever they are, I'll defeat them!!

Something to that extent...

Undergraduate / nyu supplement - gatsby and summer [6]

The second one was more exciting to read, yes, but I feel like I want to know more about what you learned at MICA studios. I feel like the focus was to shifted onto you loving art to death, and not caring about sleep. I heard NYU is particular when it comes to answering exactly what they ask of you, and not going off on a tangent which I think you might be doing. Sorry for such negativity, I actually really liked it. You should check mine out, I've just posted.

Poetry / "Stepping out into the world" - NYU SUPPLEMENT POEM [5]

I think this is how everybody who's in high school feels, including me, so I don't really see the inner you, I have a very vague feel of your personality. I would try to say that message and insert your personality into it more or just say a different message that gives us an image or a feel of you.

Undergraduate / NYU Supplement - Multiple Prompts + Topic Ideas [12]

If you're brilliant than why are you doing "not what you should". Also don't just tell us that your brilliant, SHOW us that you're brilliant through your poem.