Posts by pharmd9
Joined: Jan 9, 2010 |
Last Post: Jan 15, 2010
Threads: 2
Posts: 8
|
|
Displayed posts: 10
Undergraduate /
need to make it more concise (my application process to pharmacy schools) [5]
need help with the wording of this sentenceI am trying to say that because i have worked as pharmacy tech, being detail oriented, conscientious, and doubling checking my work has become second nature to me. i am trying to stay away from the word "learn" because i have used it at other points in my essay. been working on this sentence for the last 30 minutes and just can't figure out how to word it.
Further, working as a pharmacy technician, being detail-oriented and doubling checking my work has been ingrained into my work ethic.
Undergraduate /
My interest in social work originates from my inner desire to benefit the lives of others [3]
Instead of being the one making the reports, I wanted to be the one that was being reported too. ----> is that the right "too"? or is it supposed to be to?
i think maybe you should vary your sentence structure a little bit. a lot of the sentences start with "i want" maybe..."i desire"
overall, i like the content and i can feel your liking for the social work field
Undergraduate /
"a strong Greek system" - Transfer common app essay - emory [3]
One of the things that I have come to realize is very important to me is a strong Greek system.
Maybe you should change it to...I have realized that participating in a strong Greek community is important for me to attain my goals.
Also you use the word "opportunity" twice within two sentences of each other.
Undergraduate /
need to make it more concise (my application process to pharmacy schools) [5]
How have your experiences prepared you for pharmacy school?
this is just a start, how does it sound? would really appreciate an honest opinion on the content. thanks
I was telling my pharmacist a couple days ago about my application process to pharmacy schools. "Pharmacy school is strenuous and demanding. Get ready for what is coming" she forewarned. However, my experiences during my undergraduate years have more than prepared me for the long haul. I ardently believe that the most important thing to success in pharmacy school is managing time wisely. I have mastered this well. The last few years, I handled work, commuting, extracurriculars, while also being a full time student. I found that organizing, planning, and figuring out to get the most out of one's time is the key to success.
Undergraduate /
Dear Diary-- Describe yourself in a letter [5]
I really love the approach you are taking. It does make it more personal. but i think you should show and not tell. maybe include some anecdotes that show you're passion, out of the box thinking, creativity, etc. for instance, you could give an example of a project that you worked on or some events that shaped or showcase your personality. i feel that if you add some support and evidence of these traits, it will solidify it more. by the way, whats the word count for this prompt?
Essays /
need help in making these 3 sentences sound more professional [5]
yup, i'm supposed to write an essay describing professionalism. this is my opening so far. i think i will take out the last sentence, you're right, it is kind of implied already. thanks for your suggestions guys!! i really appreciate it! :)
Undergraduate /
I am mr. Lonely. Advice type essay [7]
syookhongNervous, excitement, and fear,
Nervous, excited, and scared...maybe?
I think its a really great essay and no I do not think it sounds negative
Essays /
need help in making these 3 sentences sound more professional [5]
There are many qualities that make up the concept of professionalism. The key values are accountability, communication, ethical behavior, leadership, working well with others, their qualifications, and working well under pressure. All of these traits are required to have the optimal professional setting.
Need Writing or Editing Help?