Writing Feedback / IELTS - large financial benefits for successful sports professionals [2]

Thanks for your time to edit my essay.
Here comes the task.

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The topic that achieved athletes make a greater fortune than people in other fields, is not a new one, thus people are divided into two groups for the views that whether it is fair or not. I prefer the former one and would discuss this issue, then deliver my points in this essay at length.

As I mentioned above, I agree with the view that this kind of wealth distribution is fair enough due to the successful professionals deserve it, that is, partly because their good luck and talent make it a foregone conclusion that they will be outstanding; principally because the hard work and pain they had endured ensure their success. Moreover, these athletes become more valuable in terms of business and advertisement industry where they are stars with immense influence on their fans rather than great players who won medals and champions. Young people will always choose the commodities their stars recommend; on the other hand, his behaviour can boost the market.

In spite of the sports professionals can benefit everyone in this economy in an intangible way; many folks believe it is not justified for the stars to earn such a great amount of money while millions and billions people on this planet are still suffering from poverty, starvation, a lack of water resource and preventable diseases. In further steps, these people assert that the athletes have an obligation to help the deprived ones and also a pivotal role to play in setting up public models than just gather wealth and live a luxurious lifestyle.

We cannot deny that as the consequence of the successful sports professionals' efforts, hand work pays off, fame and fortune rewards. Overall, in my opinion, it is one's liberty to possess and utilise them, but it would be a better choice to make use of them more meaningfully.

Writing Feedback / I prefer to let children go for a paid work especially for those who need to earn a living [3]

Thanks for you correcting and editing..here comes the topic.

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility.

What are your opinions on this?

It has been a frequent topic of discussion around the globe that whether children should be allowed to do some salary-offered work. Thus, people are divided into two groups for the certain views they support. In spite of this, I would like to express my opinion that it depends.

On the one hand, individuals agree that youngsters shall be encouraged to participate in social works since it is surely a golden opportunity for the youth to watch and learn the reality, thereby improving their competition when they step into the sophisticated society in the future. Moreover, when it comes to analysed data, the encouraging individuals are on stronger ground. Specifically, a survey conducted by TIME Magazine last year pointed out that at least 75% superior executives of the world top 500 enterprises had a work experience during their childhood, which proved that the valuable practice guaranteed one's personal ambition.

On the other hand, I have to concede that there inevitably will be some risks while children go out for a job, compared with staying at home. It is obvious the young generation is more vulnerable to crimes. Besides, it is limited for children in terms of time and vigor, by that I mean, youngsters have been forced to encounter heavy pressure from study; therefore, many of them may do well in neither school study nor social work.

Overall, I prefer to let children go for a paid work especially for those who urgently need to earn a living due to a bad family finance, whereas for the kids of wealthy families, I suggest they should do some work for free in communities to learn to be responsible or independent, and leave more chances for the deprived ones.

Writing Feedback / IELTS -Weather it is pointless to keep the traditional skills and ways of life alive [16]

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When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life always die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

If we gain the insight into the history, it is not difficult to discover that when a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life always die out. Weather it is pointless to keep them alive is increasing becoming the focus of governments and citizen concern around the globe. In this essay I will try to analyse this issue to some cases and give my answer.

Many people in my country believe it is a wise decision to keep them alive since the tradition is the heritage we inherit from our ancestors; therefore, we have the obligation to preserve and keep them moving along in the future. Moreover, traditions now have a much pivotal role to play. For instance, Chinese conventional Spring Festival has become a crucial opportunity for Chinese families, probably live apart from each other for career and study, to strengthen their family bonds. Obviously, this kind of household party can absolutely contribute to the wellbeing and advancement of our society.

It is, however, not an easy job to prove that view totally true. Some individuals firmly argue that to keep the traditional skills and ways of life alive makes nonsense. To be more specifically, the conventional ways of life, something we used to be proud of, have turned out to be the obstacle and barrier of the implementation of new technology. For example, people who live in rural area still persist in using wood and log for heating, because of the low price, which had better be replaced by solar energy, while this method costs more.

Even though there will be some resistance created by our traditional skills and ways of life when we are marching for the industrialisation. I do agree to keep them there, because it is our tradition that gives us the superiority to other creatures on this planet, that is why I prefer this view.

Writing Feedback / Communicating information has been a primary and constant necessity for people [5]

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Here comes to topic.

Compare advantages and disadvantages of three of the following as media for communicating information.State which you consider to be the most effective.
- comics
- books
- radio
- television
- film
- theatre

Communicating information has been a primary and constant necessity of we human being throughout our thousands-year-long history of civilization, by which we build up our predominant status on this planet, and apparently, the more effective the new method of communication is, the more profound influence it will bring.

To start with, books can be regarded as the torchlight lit up the darkness we explored and enlightened millions people during the era of intellectual monopoly. Indeed, books are the essence of the knowledge about science and culture which cover a great range of subjects. However, the fast tempo of lifestyle in modern society triggered by the hi-tech based on the knowledge from books, cannot comfort books themselves since their low efficiency.

In another word, people need something more effective to communicate, of course, comics meet this need soon. At first, comics always appeared to be single pictures, which simply but directly expressed ideas in an irony way. In only seconds, forks could get the main idea from comics (then burst into laugh) while they could hardly receive such punch lines from books. By contrast, in terms of content, it seems to be a weakness of comics.

As we stepped into electricity age, TV sets has come to every family, playing a pivotal role in people's daily life. This multimedia method of communication conveys video and audio signals simultaneously transformed our life significantly. Moreover, it is undoubtedly a great idea to set lectures through TV networks, for instance, Discovery, a multitude of individuals benefit from the programmes. But the costs of TV also outweigh its traditional counterparts as the advantages do.

Overall, the paces of our advance on communication will continue moving forward. Far from alone, our technology also will do so. Every methodology of communication has its cons and pros, and what to choose depends on one's preference. Thus, efficiently, TV shall be the best.

[314 Words]

Graduate / IELTS-Children should be taught competitive or cooperative. [3]

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here comes the topic.

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete more useful adults.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In present age, the society has become much more competitive than ever; therefore, should we foster the children to be cooperative or competitive causes a hot debate in my country. I will compare both sides of the debate in this essay.

Many people embrace the view that children should be taught to co-operate rather than compete, it is partly because a sense of development leads to efficiency in a team or group, all in all, development is the mainstream of this world, while it is principally because this kind of education will mostly ensure the next generation to grow up in a peaceful way. Moreover, a research released by Chinese Organisation of Children Caring recently pointed out that more than 1,300 kids die from severe competing and fighting every year in this country and more wounded.

Even so, a great amount of people stand at another side, they believe that the competition among children can accelerate the advance of the cubs physically and mentally which turns out to make them healthier. View in this angle, it seems to be true. But take science research as example, all members in a workgroup shall conduct their research cooperatively so that they may success finally; otherwise, no progress will be made.

As far as I can concern, I do prefer the former view that children should be educated cooperative which is accorded with our traditional culture. Indeed, I think, a cooperative-educated new generation shall coincide with the wellbeing and prosperity of our society.