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Posts by thewykemist
Joined: Oct 22, 2010
Last Post: Oct 22, 2010
Threads: 1
Posts: 5  

From: United Kingdom (Great Britain)

Displayed posts: 6
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thewykemist   
Oct 22, 2010
Undergraduate / "An unlikely musician" - extracurricular activities, Commonapp short answer [6]

its a great start but i would be wary of when you say you dropped electronics club or vasseva because it may well come across as being an instinctive action even though it is later negated by the fact that you describe your love for music growing exponentially (which I guess is a pun given your scientific inclinations) anyway it all hinges on what you see youself doing so that this can back up the persona you are trying to present the uni with...
thewykemist   
Oct 22, 2010
Undergraduate / "Just a game" - Commonapp Essay [5]

You must also focus on grammar as it will affect all your essays regardless of topic; for example "
his large-sized hands pressing on the table so tight that the veins of themare highly visible." You should have written the sentence as follows: as he leans in he presses hard on the table; the strain causing the veins of his hands to bulge visibly.

Regarding the topic, on the other hand (note the irony), I feel that choosing a board game is very original and you shouldn't bin it without at least giving it another go. You just have to bear in mind that you are writing to a stranger and must therefore make it quite explicit whatever it is that you are talking about.
thewykemist   
Oct 22, 2010
Undergraduate / "Super-heroes" - Columbia & NYU (Admission essay) [19]

your second attempt is much better! I would now focus on specific grammatical mistakes such as 'lenghts' in your penultimate paragraph and making it as appealing as possible to the Uni admins. I like the focus on being open and individual but try to avoiding sounding to much like a walking cliche. I found your shared love of tacos the best part of your essay since it sounded the most genuine.
thewykemist   
Oct 22, 2010
Undergraduate / To Fly like a Bird, my accomplishments and about myself [3]

you spend to long talking about your accomplishments and not enough on talking about yourself. I know that you do not want to come across as a braggart (it seems you dedicated the sentence about peacocks to that matter) but the fact that you see yourself as a dove is far to cliched and divine - the dove is a symbol of peace/innocence/God ect. I would use your love of flying to be a synonym for your yearn for sucess ad your ambitions in life...
thewykemist   
Oct 22, 2010
Undergraduate / "The Art of Argument" - My struggle with the Common App Essay [3]

This is my first attempt at the common app essay so far (I know that I do not have much time) anyway I was just looking for some advice on how to end on a personal note...

The Art of Argument
The beginning of all art can be found in the act of appreciation. That little subjective and nebulous feeling is perhaps the main reason for all the diversity that one encounters in today's society. There are those that take pleasure in the little things in life, others that prefer the grander themes, and those that settle for an amalgamation of both. It just so happens that my particular foible is the appreciation of a good argument.

There is, however, one myth that I must dispel before I continue and this is the idea that truth has an intrinsic value. This is simply not true in an increasingly relativistic world that bears witness to the death of the absolute. Today concepts such as right and wrong, justice and injustice carry little meaning unless in context with one another. It is important therefore to dispose of the romantic belief that argument is a search for truth rather than the imposing of ideas from one person onto another. The mental battlefield for argument is and will always be founded on the bedrock of Logic and Reason. For after all is not Reason above all else man?

And yet, in light of the harsh reality behind the act of argument, it is still the basis on which our society is built. Over the years, however, people have lost sight of the benefits of argument instead focusing on its 'Dark Side' as George Lucas would put it. Positions that once were held in high esteem in society such as lawyers, lobbyists and members of parliament are now looked down upon with scorn. It seems that the rise of the Sciences has been at the consequence of that of the Arts.

Aims & Points

- I am aware that I am yet to relate the essay to myself on a personal level.
- This is only half of the essay so far but I want to dedicate the last 300 or so words to making it personal.
- I am writing this for UPenn if you want some indication of the standard I am aiming to achieve.
- I am from the english educational system so do not know much about the common app so any advice will be thankfully received.

Oh and by the way, what length should the essay be? I have gathered that it should be around 500-600 wds but mostof the other essays that I have read on this forum seem to be much longer - should I be worried??
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