Benn_Myers
Dec 27, 2010
Undergraduate / "I will feast on an extravagant meal" - interest of study, my essay for Georgetown [3]
This is a good essay, and our pal Mr. Erickson is making another appearance. My advice for this essay is similar to that I gave you for your last prompt, although to a much lesser degree. This is already a good essay and the only problem I might have with it is it does tend to dabble more in the intellectual and abstract then the grounded and emotional; that being said, it dwells in the intellectual and abstract very well.
I would consider adding a anecdote (if you the word limit allows) with more emotion. If that isn't the case then I would probably call it good, this essay is solid and a major reworking of it to make it "more emotional" is honestly not worth the time.
I won't be able to give you any more feedback on your essays until next Sunday (which is presumably after deadline) collegegirl 24, I'll be in an area without computers. I'll try to get on and look it over if you make any edits, but as far as I go your most likely on your own from here out.
But don't worry, your essays are good. Best of luck mate.
This is a good essay, and our pal Mr. Erickson is making another appearance. My advice for this essay is similar to that I gave you for your last prompt, although to a much lesser degree. This is already a good essay and the only problem I might have with it is it does tend to dabble more in the intellectual and abstract then the grounded and emotional; that being said, it dwells in the intellectual and abstract very well.
I would consider adding a anecdote (if you the word limit allows) with more emotion. If that isn't the case then I would probably call it good, this essay is solid and a major reworking of it to make it "more emotional" is honestly not worth the time.
I won't be able to give you any more feedback on your essays until next Sunday (which is presumably after deadline) collegegirl 24, I'll be in an area without computers. I'll try to get on and look it over if you make any edits, but as far as I go your most likely on your own from here out.
But don't worry, your essays are good. Best of luck mate.