Undergraduate / Brown University: Piano Academy, An intellectual Experience [4]

Prompt: Tell us about an intellectual experience, project, class, or book that has influenced or inspired you. (500 words maximum)

During the summer of 2009, I was accepted into the Indiana University Piano Academy. When I first arrived at the academy, I thought of myself as a good pianist-perhaps not the best, but nonetheless reasonably talented. Upon meeting the other students at the academy however, I realized that everyone seemed to be much better than me. Fortunately, my new friends and teachers noticed and helped me to realize just how to draw inspiration from the academy. I became thankful for these moments, and not letting the other students deter me from achieving what I came to the program to do-to learn music, and to learn it with fervor.

Before attending the piano academy, I thought playing music was a very intellectually engaging experience, requiring hours of practice, intense focus and discipline. I couldn't have been more wrong. After witnessing other students' performances I was speechless and immediately reconsidered many things I had initially thought about music. Discipline, focus and practice are simply the basic building blocks to many things, including piano. Passion is the key factor in any endeavor, whether you are an entrepreneur or even an NBA player. True passion for music, or anything for that matter, comes from the heart-no amount of practicing can change that.

People may claim that their research in science or their achievements in a math competition are examples of an "intellectual experience," but in reality, a heartfelt passion for their activities defines their success. A pianist that plays every single note correctly in a performance is not as successful as a pianist who makes a few mistakes, but plays with their heart and soul on their fingertips. Once I learned this important detail, my senses as well as my very being were invigorated and I could detect the difference in my music when I played. Without this amazing experience, I doubt I would have learned that the intellectual aspect of music not only comes from discipline, practice, and focus, but also passion, perhaps even more so.

Please critique my essay!

Thanks

Undergraduate / "my piano teacher" - A person of influence [2]

The following is an essay on the below prompt for the Common Application, thus I am sending this to quite a few schools, so it is very important that I make it the best essay possible.

"Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence."

Walking into her unfamiliar house, I was bound to be intimidated, especially as twelve year olds tend to be when meeting adults for the first time. As I crossed the threshold of the doorway, I saw her completely for the first time. She seemed to tower over me, and the fact that I was only twelve at the time made her seem even taller. Several thoughts ran across my mind while my mom engaged in casual conversation with my possible future piano teacher, one of them being a question as to whether or not I was compatible or at the very least, viable. Moments later I was abruptly broken out of my reverie by the woman asking me very kindly to come and play some music for her. I tentatively walked over to the piano and sat down slowly on the bench while my mother looked on with eyes of encouragement. I glanced up at the teacher and she nodded for me to begin. I wondered, what should I play first? Will she be impressed? Disregarding these distracting thoughts, I began to play the first movement of a sonata by Scarlatti.

Concentrating on the task at hand, I played with as much musicality as I could muster, despite the fact that I was extremely nervous. As I continued to play I became progressively more anxious and by the time I had finished, I was a nervous wreck. However, contrary to my expectations, the teacher actually looked happy. (Ironically, this made me think that she was laughing at me, but this was not the case). After a somewhat quick performance, the teacher stood up and asked us if we would like to try a lesson starting the next week. Without a doubt my mother and I were thrilled at this and responded simultaneously with an immediate "yes!" This was the beginning of a new experience for both me and my teacher.

Immediately from the moment we started lessons, I saw just how enthusiastic and how passionate my new teacher was about piano. At first, I was slightly put off by her intense attitude, but then I began to see that it was her love of music that drove her to be so inspired. She was a teacher unlike no other who spent hours of her time dedicated to her students, even outside of lessons. Not only did we spend more time than allotted for the lesson, we also had great fun due to her sparkling personality. Mix that in with a hefty helping of passion for music and I had one feisty piano teacher on my hands. Although she was a very happy person, she was also very disciplined and thus taught me to be more self-disciplined in my practice habits (which were rather scant on some occasions). However, I learned much more than just practice habits from her.

Every lesson, no matter how tired, frustrated, or stressed she was, my piano teacher always maintained her level of teaching excellence. She proved to me that she can withstand any difficulty and still come out strong. This is perhaps one of my most important values-determination, and I can attribute it to my piano teacher stoically enduring the toughest of times, especially during the sudden passing of her husband. Even with such a devastating tragedy at hand, she still managed to be positive with her students. Her attitude towards and passion for piano did not waver, in fact, it may have gotten stronger. Her strength was made clear by her determination to keep going in the face of a terrible loss. With that kind of determination, I could take on any challenge at any time without hesitation.

However, it was in my junior year that my personal determination was challenged the most. Last year, I was in the highest math class offered in my school-calculus. Unfortunately, even after years of excelling in math, I failed to maintain even a passing grade in calculus. It eventually got to the point where my math teacher asked me to step down a level. Upon hearing this I was greatly discouraged until I remembered what I had learned from my piano teacher, to never give up in the face of adversity. Taking after her, I refused to listen and immediately began working towards my goal of passing the class, which I eventually did, by being self-motivated (another thing I learned from my piano teacher) and determined. This one huge obstacle in my school career made me realize just how influential my piano teacher had been over the past years, and how it had such a positive effect. In fact, her presence in my life and influence on my life will without a doubt, lead me on the path to success in the future, especially in college.

Any help is appreciated!

Thanks!

Undergraduate / Roomie + a good place for you: Stanford's Undergrad Essay Questions 2 and 3 [6]

Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate-and us-know you better.

The answer to the question is as follows:

Dear roommate,

I should probably introduce myself. Well, first off, my name is Greg Chan, and I'm from Portland, Oregon. I am seventeen years old, and I am a second generation Chinese-American. I play piano and violin and I enjoy videogames and getting good grades. Basic introductions usually involve some boring spiel including names, ages, and whatnot. An awkward silence or miscellaneous icebreaker usually follows. My goal in this note is to eradicate all these rather undesirable introduction qualities and create an environment in which you will get to both know me better and not feel awkward or shy regardless of your character or personality. I believe that first impressions are always the most important when meeting a new person, especially if that person is someone you will possibly living with for a few years. In other words, a first impression can have an enormous impact on what others think of you in the future, even if it is not good.

One thing you should know about me is that I am a very social person; I enjoy talking to people, and listening to what others have to say (although I tend to talk too much on occasion). Sometimes this can be to my advantage due to the ease with which I am able to communicate with other people; however, there have been moments where my talkative traits have hindered me. Although I had only this short space to leave my first impression, I feel that it has been quite productive and I hope to see you in the near future!

Sincerely,
Greg Chan

Tell us what makes Stanford a good place for you.

For this question, I had difficulty in answering the actual question; this explains why I have three different second paragraphs. The first paragraph is the same for all three answers. Each second paragraph is numbered.

The answer to the question is as follows:

First paragraph

Saying what makes Stanford a good place for me is quite simple-honestly, who is Stanford not a good place for? Although many would argue that a prestigious school is not a correct match for every individual, attending Stanford certainly embodies the hopes and dreams of many prospective students whether they accomplish their goal or not. I, for one, have been anticipating the time that I could finally attempt to gain an education at Stanford, perhaps since I was only in elementary school. Initially, I was under the impression that attending Stanford was a privilege only for those who excelled in every way possible, in academics, in athletics, in the arts; in essence, the "perfect person." Since then I have learned that this is not the case-at least in most circumstances .

1. Second paragraph number one

One of my attributes that I consider the most important is determination. The college application process is long and arduous, and applying to Stanford is no joke. Through pure determination and perhaps a little "encouragement" from others, I am motivated to make the best of this application. Other than my traits of determination, I consider Stanford to be a premier match for me because of its wide range of possible studies, academic rigor, and overall reputation. Coming from a small school, I have been privy to small class sizes, intense curriculum including a full IB diploma program, and a plethora of extracurricular activities. To the best of my knowledge, Stanford has all of these and more-it embodies exactly what I value such as a good education for all, community service, and most of all, the determination to succeed. That is what makes Stanford a great fit for me-in a nutshell.

2. Second paragraph number two.

Stanford would be a great match for me simply of my sheer perseverance and determination. These are traits that I consider to be my strongest, and they apply to almost everything I pursue. Determination is a very important quality to have, especially during tough, seemingly impossible challenges (applying to college being one of them). Although being selected to attend Stanford may depend on your grades and test scores, the essay is also a crucial component of the admissions process. The essay allows the student to express in writing their hopes and dreams, as well as their personalities. In essence, it allows for admissions officials to know the applicant on a more personal level. An essay can show many different traits of an individual, and I know I have expressed my desire and determination to attend Stanford through this limited space.

3. Second paragraph number three.

I would describe one of my strengths as being perseverance, or determination. This may lead to better or worse, but it usually manifests in a manner that benefits. In my opinion, one of the key factors to college admission is a person's desire or passion to attend the college, and what they are willing to do in order to reach that goal. Although some of this attributes to grades, extracurricular activities, and test scores, I believe that if a person truly has the drive to attend a certain school, their determination will push them to try their hardest and if they don't get in, they will at least have the satisfaction of knowing they did their best.

Any help is appreciated!

Thank you!!