Undergraduate / "How could I crush our years of friendship" - Caltech - ethical dillema essay [4]

prompt: Members of the Caltech community live, learn, and work within an Honor System with one simple guideline, 'No member shall take unfair advantage of any other member of the Caltech community.' While seemingly simple, questions of ethics, honesty, and integrity are sometimes challenging. Share an ethical dilemma that challenged you. What did you do? (350 words)

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When I became the top dog of my elementary school in 2004, everyone was enthused about the upcoming election for president and vice president. The rule said to nominate a person from each class as a candidate, so after a week of sizzling debate, Jo was opted as the candidate from my class. My classmates unanimously, if silently, planned to pour our votes on her, for the glory of our class. I have been taking a good part in this grand plan, until Pete, my best friend, was nominated from the other class.

The biggest bully in my class, trying to redeem his notoriety, had long been claiming: "Whoever disobeying the plan will taste how spicy my fist is!" Hence, I helplessly voted for Jo in the end (thinking back, the votes were counted anonymous, so I was just being silly after all). Despite all these tries, Pete won the election. I was incredibly happy, but uncomfortable at the same time.

Pete must have expected me to vote for him, since I was cordially invited to his celebration party. I, knowing how brutally I backstabbed his trust in me, was forced in a dilemma. How could I crush our years of friendship, by quailing at the bully's boneless threats? Even with my little conscience, I just could not casually join the party and praise his achievement. I have been mocking people who lost heart in many stories, and I let someone steal mine so effortlessly. After two hours of internal discussion, I decided not to go. Instead, I wrote him a sincere e-mail, in which I confessed my deed, told him that I had been a coward, and promised to no longer let the fear steal my heart away. He replied that night: "Don't worry, bud. I forgive you."

Lured by the fast-approaching danger, I relinquished what could have later been a blessing in the future, while causing a sin in the process. I learnt to stay forthright, and take the hits whenever necessary, because I know that I am not losing, but rather striding forward for the win.

I really think this essay needs a lot of refurbishment. I just want to know if the essay is answering the prompt, and if you can identify the awkward phrases or grammatical errors, I would be really appreciated...

Undergraduate / "my thirst for originality, diversity and freedom" - what makes Stanford a good place [4]

Is the essay too generic? The context has gone a little awkward, since I tried to fit in the 1800 character limit. Please have a read and leave a comment, I would really, really, really appreciate your opinions!!!!!!!!!!!!! (if you can point out the grammatical errors, that would be SUPERB :D)

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"So the caprolactam rings open, followed by multiple condensation polymerizations to produce nylon 6,6. The chain produced here has directing peptide bonds..."

What a big load of gibbers! Sometimes, I seem to be perfectly familiar with each word, but would just not be able to comprehend what they conglomerate into. Poking a friend to ask what they mean, I am stunned by his harsh words of don't-bother-learning-what's-not-in-our-syllabus. Turning to a teacher for a finer answer, I am upset to discover that he too responds similarly. This is what I daily encounter in my high school, with minimum interaction between teachers and students, class notes recycled over years, and hackneyed curriculum with little diversity. I have always been willing to pioneer my own education and enhance my uniqueness, but the circumstances did not let me to do so.

In this sense, Stanford University is a perfect institution to satiate my thirst for originality, diversity and freedom, so as to recall individuality in me. A tight-knit faculty would pop off my real-time curiosities through personal, detailed inculcations, while the group discussions with the brains from all parts of the globe will expand my cultural, ethnic understandings as part of my becoming-a-global-citizen scheme. As the school's motto, "the wind of freedom blows", suggests, a high degree of freedom is guaranteed in designing my own sets of classes. Since the declaration of specific major does not begin until the junior year, I would be able to have a good taste of each field of studies offered before choosing the most suitable major. Academic reasons aside, my passion for drums will finally blossom as a percussionist of LSJUMB, rocking out "All Right Now" in inter-school clashes. All these are possible, exclusively at Stanford.

Undergraduate / "I'm in love with olfaction" - Cornell's Engineering supplement essay [3]

Hey guys, please have a read and leave a comment below! Thanks in advance! (I also want advice on how to conclude my essay. Right now, it just doesn't seem to fit)

Engineers turn ideas (technical, scientific, mathematical) into reality. Tell us about an engineering idea you have or your interest in engineering. Explain how Cornell Engineering can help you further explore this idea or interest.

The concept of olfaction was not familiar to me in my childhood. Due to my innate empyema, I found it difficult to respire through my nostrils, thus smell was one of the five senses that I had to relinquish. However, as the severity of empyema dwindled down and I have eventually been able to come in contact with smells, they opened up wonderlands in my imagination. I could obtain pleasure from things that I felt indifferent when my mom used to assert: "Oh, this flower smells lovely!".

My mom's definition of lovely is confined to only beautiful, pristine objects like flowers. Mine, unlike hers, includes many others that most people loathe: dirt on nails, old books, sweats on the palm, bottom-right corner of the pillow, burning matchsticks, gasoline stands and many others. To be honest, I had no clue of what sort of odor people normally perceive as likable at first. When I finally realized how my definition of 'lovely' so greatly deviated from that of other people, it was already too late to reconstruct my dictionary.

Once, I met a stranger online who claimed to be in love with the smell of ammonia. As I typed: 'Yuck! Why would you smell such thing?', I realized this is how people would have felt towards my own likings. This idea that individuals have remarkably diversified tastes has fascinated me. I am conscious that individuals may find comfort from objects that other people dislike, and that these odors may be much more effective than the typical perfumes and essences in the market today. Furthermore, people often derive memories when they are exposed to a particular odor, and so if we manage to fully understand the connection, we would be able to produce a perfume or food that will act not only as a decorating agent, but also as a means to reminisce their childhood: a sort of perfume and chocolate that goes beyond mechanic pleasure, that nobody would resist to have.

Upon realizing that I first need a place to build a set of fundamental knowledge, I had been actively searching for a suitable institution, and I found Cornell University. I was amused by the Cornell's commitment to liberal and theoretical studies with generous research opportunities, allowing students to apply conceptual learning from lectures to tackle the real-world problems. By doing so, I would be able to maximize my fondness for olfaction to really jump into the game and 'get my hands dirty'. Cornell's rigorous curriculum would ride me nonstop to challenge the limits that I have previously set myself, and to expand my knowledge to boundaries that were once deemed only gods could reach. As a person who could get easily enticed away, the university's rural location is perfect for me to keep my faith and march on without being driven off the track.

Although I do not specifically know what the four years of life in Cornell will have for me, I firmly believe that they will be memorable and invigorating, and that Cornell will be one vital medium that would define who I really am.

Undergraduate / "Dop-dop-dop-dop, Malaysia, fear of failure" - my common app essay [8]

Hello guys,

I am new to this forum :D! I have written this essay a month ago, and i wanted to see if this is up to the standard of top university applicants (I am intending to apply to low ivies and few top state universities). Please have a read through, and would love to have any sort of feedbacks, regardless of how harsh they are!

Dop-dop-dop-dop

Upon hearing this familiar sound, I rushed and stuck my forehead against the window to watch the rain lashing down. As an ardent audience, I listened attentively to the small, yet grandeur symphony of raindrops performed behind the thin sheet of glass. Having been fond of rain from childhood, I was a passionate attendant of its concert at two every evening. However, as the summer neared out, the frequency of concerts began to dwindle. My longing for the rain soon morphed into desperation, as I was about to lose a good friend to share my feelings with.

I moved into Malaysia with no real understanding of the gravity of situation. It only hammered me in my first full-English class: Heavy rain poured accompanied with thunders outside the building, and inside the building was I with a stack of indecipherable papers received. Other students seemed to be actively involved in the lesson, while I was wandering solo in the jungle of English. When the teacher suddenly asked me to read the passage aloud, I gibbered so much that one student eventually broke out in laughter. I never intended to make myself an object of ridicule, and the fact that I have just done so instantly crunched my heart. After then, I could not overcome the fear of failure to break through the invisible shell. What if I pronounce the word wrongly? What if the students start laughing again?

What if the teacher decides to give up on me?

My feebleness urged me to get hold of the comfort that rain provided, but its departure was imminent. I reckon god did not favor me, for he had so coldly ignored my two-week worth of wishes to have my rain back. Does he have any idea of the depth of sympathy that we shared during the summer? I guessed not, until he finally decided to release the rain, probably to just shut me up. I was overwhelmed with joy that I ran off the house barefooted and greeted it with arms wide-open. Its coldness penetrated and washed my fatigue away. At last, I thought.

And then a bell rang in my head.

After all these times, the rain has been falling with a purpose. Every inch of a sprout, every sketch of a farmer's smile and every scent of a flower were the masterpieces that rain had so altruistically created along its path. The raindrops I had watched every evening were the same raindrops that had enriched so many lives, during which I had failed to enrich anybody's, or even my own. From the beginning of my struggles, rain and I were fundamentally different. I was disappointed to see our difference, and yet I have never been so fortunate by my realizing it; I could, finally, drop the long-established title of a coward.

Since then, fear of failure has become the least considered factor when I commit myself to an activity. Even when there is a downfall looming ahead, I devote myself to each and every project with the belief that I will shoot back up with the momentum gained from declining. Although I do not have a clear direction as to where I should progress, with optimism I dedicate myself and enjoy the values I gain from each activity. So long as I believe that these raindrops are falling elsewhere in this world to continue their blessings, my strides will never cease and I will happily take on the hardships.

word count: 578. Thanks in advance!