Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by wwd
Joined: Dec 7, 2010
Last Post: Dec 10, 2010
Threads: 1
Posts: 8  

From: China

Displayed posts: 9
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wwd   
Dec 10, 2010
Undergraduate / Why Literature, Science & Arts? - University of Michigan Ann Arbor [4]

including History, political science, philosophy and psychology

This part is confusing. I don't know why you choose these subjects instend of Math, Physics, French or blablabla...and I think maybe you should delete these.

The College of Literature, Science and Arts definitely has several unique qualities that attracts me.

I think maybe you use too many "allows". Try "enables" or something else...
Also, too many "not only...but also..."
You are not a native speaker, are you? I suggest you go to a native speaker or your English teacher to polish your language because I am an international student, too!

Good luck with your application!

btw, would you mind commenting on my personal essay for common app? Thank you!
wwd   
Dec 10, 2010
Undergraduate / Columbia is cool, teaches, and aids foreigners - in 1500 letters [11]

I agree with NissanHaque that you should not humiliate other schools and I don't think "I understand that no college could really "teach" successful writing. But Columbia's Creative Writing program, with its Core Curriculum, intense workshops, small writing seminars and exposure to the vibrant community that is NYC(sure, I may not get the New Yorker internship that I've always wanted, but I'll probably get something just as good), comes pretty darn close." this sentence is good enough...cuz you are still saying that Columbia could not teach successful writing...Well, they are my personal opinion...

Good luck! : )
wwd   
Dec 10, 2010
Undergraduate / The Low Steps - Columbia Short essay [10]

I think your perspective is really creative! I just have one question...How can you be so sure that none of other schools has low steps? Because you seem to choose Columbia only because of the steps...

Good luck! : )
wwd   
Dec 8, 2010
Undergraduate / "The 'small-school' feel and broad education" - Why Northwestern? [4]

Each paragraph talks about a connection between Northwestern and yourself, which is really great!

I can see that you really know Northwestern well, but I think each paragraph seems to be loosely connected. Maybe you should use some transition words between each paragraph.

Good luck! : )

btw, if you have some time to comment on my main essay, it will be great! Thanks~
wwd   
Dec 8, 2010
Undergraduate / "The Quiet Life" - Why Brown [5]

I agree with Xiaomeng Xia.

I've never been to Brown, but if Brown is indeed a quiet place, I don't think it is a unique characteristic of Brown.There are many other colleges that are located in suburb or rural areas, far away from cities.

Good luck!
wwd   
Dec 7, 2010
Undergraduate / Does age matter?---my main essay for Common App [7]

This is my personal essay for Common App and I chose "Topic of your choice"
It will be really helpful if you have any suggestions! Thank you! :)

Does Age of a Person Really Matter?



I am five feet four inches always with a big smile on my face. I am a persistently studious and companionable person. What has characterized most of my life, however, is my having been two years younger than my peers throughout middle and high school. This simple characteristic has been the cause of much initial hardship as well as an equal measure of subsequent growth.

Owing to my excellence over my classmates in kindergarten, the head master recommended that I could skip two years ahead. My parents enthusiastically accepted this honor, unaware of the difficulties that would soon accompany it. At first, I was a stranger in my primary school and later the object of jibes and pranks. They would ask questions like "did your mother give birth to you at an illegal age?" My teacher, too, believed me too young to follow the coursework in the highly competitive class. He even advised my parents to prepare for the stay-down procedures.

Never encountering such humiliation before, I was depressed. However, unwilling to be a loser, I requested my parents to delay the procedures and resolved to fight for my place. Pretending not noticing my peers' opinions about me, I started my big plan. At noon, some students came home for delicious meal and cozy bed; others stayed at school watching the latest cartoons. To be honest, I wished to eat mom-made lunch at home, but I chose to stay with my classmates or to study in classroom. Gradually I had more friends and less bullies, and I made significant progress. The facial expression of my classmates and teachers changed from "oh my god" to "oh it's you again" when they saw my scores. I outshined my "big brothers and sisters" in my class and relieved my parents with perfect academic records, which won me the admission to a prestigious middle school before graduation. Indeed, age does matter if I take it as an excuse of failure, but it doesn't matter when taken as a motivation which later instilled into every inch of my life. When my piano teacher told me that it would take me at least 7 years to achieve the highest honor in music proficiency test for nonprofessionals, I passed level 9 five and a half years later.

Having tasted bitter discrimination, I develop the empathy towards people who are unfairly treated. I had a transfer classmate who was mentally-handicapped and often made noises in class by eating paper, pencils, and ball pen inks. No one wanted to share a desk with him but me. Chewing pencils did seem indecent, but I did not believe he would eat me. (Human beings become cannibal only because they feel threatened by the same race) So one day I said "Hi" with a smile when he was crunching his physics test sheets. As we got further acquainted, I discovered the reason of his unique diet-to attract attentions. I told him that being different did not matter, but it did matter if it was only for soliciting others' eyes. I constantly encouraged him, introduced my friends to him, and led him into the normal social circle. Everybody witnessed his change: his diet became more nutritious and he ate fewer pencils but spoke more. Later, just as Daniel Goleman once said "Empathy makes a leader able to get along well with people of diverse backgrounds" what I did won me trusts and respects from my fellows.

In reviewing my past I realize that I'm lucky to possess the asset of age: I get to know that it is possible to change people's perspectives if I am convinced to do so. Being younger is not bad. Always looking up at my friends and classmates who are taller than me, I get used to set higher goals. Having suffered from school bullies, I would never allow myself to exert the same pain to others. Also, I am always achieving goals earlier than my peers, which offers me more life experiences than they do. Obviously, age does not matter. What seems to be wrong may be right at last---if I want to change.
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