I can't imagine *not* going to Columbia. Well, actually, I can imagine it. That's the problem.
I'll be the man going to a mediocre institution like PG Community College or Brown and then, four years later, standing on a subway station and holding up a sign saying, " Writer, homeless, Out of Work, in college debt. Will rhyme for food."
Columbia is cool, because, well, it's Columbia. It's part of a sports club of some renown and rhymes with Disturbia. It has one of the most interesting student populations on the planet and an u in the name, useful in case I apply to the Universidad Nacional de Colombia by accident. It has the Core Curriculum and Local Strawberry Jam. It graduated 101 Pulitzer Prize winners and the first half-black president and cut down its homicide rate by half, has wonderful rainforests and is located in the picturesque Andes-I might be looking at the wrong Wikipedia page here.
I understand that no college could really "teach" successful writing. But Columbia's Creative Writing program, with its Core Curriculum, intense workshops, small writing seminars and exposure to the vibrant community that is NYC(sure, I may not get the New Yorker internship that I've always wanted, but I'll probably get something just as good), comes pretty darn close.
I'm also applying to Columbia is because it's one of the very few colleges that gives need-based aid to foreigners. Because financial hardship should never impede the pursuit of excellence.
I understand that no college could really "teach" successful writing. But Columbia's Creative Writing program, with thought-provoking Core Curriculums, amazing workshops, small writing seminars, and exposure to the vibrant community that is NYC(sure, I may not get the New Yorker internship that I wanted, but I'll get something just as good), comes pretty darn close.
I'm not sure if you want to start a sentence with a contraction. If that's your writing style, then that's fine.
and Diction, Diction, Diction!
Thanks, I agree that the last two paragraphs are the weakest. Am editing.
I can't imagine *not* going to Columbia. Well, actually, I can imagine it. That's the problem.
I'll be the man going to a horrible, horrible institution like PG Community College or [shivers] Duke and then, four years later, standing in a subway station and holding up a sign: "Writer, homeless, jobless, in college debt. Will rhyme for food."
You should not bash other colleges anywhere on your application. This does not strengthen your resolve, it only hinders it
The idea is humor...
it doesnt matter what the intent is, colleges do not take this matter lightly
ok, any other suggestions?
Hey, I saw some great help you gave other people, Draconlord. Thanks!
I think you should not name those 2 schools that you insult. Just cut out the names, but keep the funny example.
I'll be the man going to a horrible, horrible institution like PG Community College or [shivers] Duke and then, four years later, standing in a subway station and holding up a sign: "Writer, homeless, jobless, in college debt. Will rhyme for food."
... has wonderful rainforests and is located in the picturesque Andes-I might be looking at the wrong Wikipedia page here.--- very good, I hope the AO reader has a sense of humor. Be careful, though, because if one applicant has a plan she is passionate about and another has a very clever and funny essay, the AO reader will feel obligated to favor the serious candidate.
So...
I was going to say you should get serious in the second half, but I see that you already did. Let's add 3 more specific objectives if it is not too late... has the deadline already passed? If you have not turned this in already, I suggest adding a little more of your game plan at the end.
Also, get fix this incomplete sentence:
Because Financial hardship should never impede the pursuit of excellence.
If it's humor... it's not funny. I would remove all of the "humor" and get to the point. Your essay sounds very childish.
And FYI, Columbia is not need-blind, so you will have /very/ tough competition for the few financial aid packages. Good luck.
I agree with NissanHaque that you should not humiliate other schools and I don't think "I understand that no college could really "teach" successful writing. But Columbia's Creative Writing program, with its Core Curriculum, intense workshops, small writing seminars and exposure to the vibrant community that is NYC(sure, I may not get the New Yorker internship that I've always wanted, but I'll probably get something just as good), comes pretty darn close." this sentence is good enough...cuz you are still saying that Columbia could not teach successful writing...Well, they are my personal opinion...
Good luck! : )
