Undergraduate / "Baseball and its Lessons" Common App Essay [9]

Hi, I was wondering I spent too much time talking about my teammate and if the narrative perspective was effective. Any constructive criticism would be great!

Thanks for the help!

Walking towards the batter's box, I cannot turn away the dismal thoughts. For years I have failed. Since I was young, I have always been the slowest player on the team because my tolerance to fatigue has never improved and my teammates have joked about me constantly. The pitcher stares at me with a menacing look. My fingers feel a little numb and I see that I'm clenching the bat too tightly. I had soon given up trying to prove my teammates wrong as I was incapable of overcoming the physical threshold that I had inadvertently designated for myself. Self-confidence has been replaced by self-doubt. Baseball, the sport that I dearly enjoyed, was becoming an emotional burden. I tap the plate with my bat. If things had not improved before, why would they now?

Eyes on the pitcher and muscles tense, I swing at the first pitch and unsurprisingly, miss solidly. I tentatively adjust my helmet and look to the stands, sensing the college and professional scouts watching me. Wait, one is checking his phone and another is walking towards the concession stand. I had tried to remind myself that playing for the Minnesota Twins Scout Team at the Arizona Fall Classic was the perfect time to turn things around but who was I kidding? I feel like a placeholder. What can a mere placeholder achieve if he cannot hit ball?

Another pitch flies by as I swing right past the ball. With two strikes, I step back, take a deep breath, and close my eyes. Two strikes might as well be three. I begin to question myself as to whether I can even make contact with the ball anymore but I force the ominous feelings out of my mind and my thoughts wander to what happened moments before. I replay it in my mind - my teammate Colby, with his injured leg, running out a groundball resolutely and then gingerly hobbling off the field, face grimacing yet hinting a sense of pride. The coach nearly had a fit - why did he make such a daring move? Colby knew there was no way that he would be fast enough to get on base but that was of no concern to him. For Colby, physical shortcomings were but obstacles to surpass, mere challenges. He barrelled onward, propelled himself forward with the intent to fight adversity and without the fear of failure. What makes my situation any different from his?

That was it. I step into the batter's box standing tall because now I understand that there is no reason to dread failure, especially since baseball is a game of failures. If you swing and miss twice, there is still another chance to prove yourself. If you strike out in three pitches, walk right up to the batter's box in your next at-bat and dare the pitcher to throw those three same pitches again. The pitcher delivers the pitch and I am ready.

Undergraduate / "an option of a certificate in Architectural Engineering" Duke Supplement [5]

If you are applying to the Pratt School of Engineering, please discuss why you want to study engineering and why you would like to study at Duke.

There was a time when I felt that, besides engineering, a career in philosophy was a possible path for me because Theory of Knowledge is one of my strongest subjects. I was ambivalent in deciding my future so I looked to my mother for guidance. She spoke of her years working for her family's business even ...

After edits:

At first, I thought my strong attachment to engineering came from my part-time job as a surveyor. I shot elevations and grades for roads and pipes with a level and laid out jobsites with a total station for the work crews to install while learning to read City of Richmond and engineering drawings. It was a great experience to be able to work close to civil engineering but by following commands and procedures all the time, it was difficult to grasp the true purpose of what I was doing. I never felt as though I was contributing to anything. More or less, I followed orders and fulfilled expectations with very little context.

It was Global Perspectives that changed my opinion, and made me truly passionate about engineering. When our teacher showed us the plans for the building we were constructing in Fiji, when I held the drawings in my hand, I knew that I would be doing something noble and worthwhile. I was making a difference on a global scale. I see building that community centre in Fiji as my first stepping stone on the path towards becoming a civil engineer because I learned then that civil engineers worked to continually improve the lives of others, sometimes on a grand scale.

Duke Engineering appeals to me because it offers so many of the features I am looking for. I am primarily attracted to the flexibility and range of courses provided, the Overture design project, and Duke's emphasis on close-knit student-teacher relations. Having been in the Incentive Program at Macneill Secondary, I recognize that the connection between student and teacher is crucial to the intellectual development of the student. I believe that a close student-teacher relationship gives Duke students the confidence and skills to carry out the capstone tasks in Overture Engineering. The Overture project is exactly the kind of work that I envision myself doing in the future. At my part-time job, I have set the same grading and building layouts that Duke students have set, and I am now eager to join them in taking the next step. Having had extensive practical training, I seek to gain a theoretical understanding of engineering and to be able to create plans and designs that reflect my creativity. I feel that high school did not present enough opportunities for me to exhibit my creativity so when I saw that Duke Engineering has an option of a certificate in Architectural Engineering, I was excited to have the opportunity to connect the imagination of an architect and the practical skills of an engineer. Duke Engineering has so many amazing opportunities that I know it is the natural next step for me.

Thanks for the help!