Undergraduate / Activities that influnced me & academic potential and accomplishment [3]

[NEED HELP AGAIN] i have another essay, please correct it, because i am not sure that my essay will be free from grammatical error, give me advise. thank you very much :)

Q2.tell us about your academic potential and accomplishment. (to be honest, i never win any competition, so can i writ it like this? :

"I'm good in biology subject. During Junior High School (JHS), I always got an outstanding score in biology. I wanted to join the Biology Olympiad (BO), unfortunately, my guardian teacher didn't choose me. Suddenly, my biology teacher asked me to join BO, I was shocked, because the competition would be held 5 days later. Finally, I joined BO. The result wasn't too bad, I was the 9th rank among 100 or more. But, still couldn't go to province level, I failed. In senior high school, after a hard selection, I joined acceleration program (3 years is fifted in to 2 years education). Students in Acceleration Class (AC) came from the best JHS. The students were very competitive. In AC, I always on the 2nd rank, except, in my 1st semester, When I hadn't realized that my friends were brilliant. I usually got the best score in biology, my biology teacher encouraged me to join BO. I told my mom, she didn't allow me, she wanted me to focus in AC. I was crying, and I promised myself no to lose any chance and If I become one of U's family, I'll really study hard to get the best achievements."

Q3. among the many extracurricular you have done, tell us about the most important activity that influenced you (and the people around you)

"The most important organization that play a main role in my life is Bulletin Board Department. It all began when my senior read my article, she directly promoted me to let me join, I was placed in creative division (CD), especially in "what they said rubric". Every week, I and crews tried to find an interesting topic to made an interview with people. It's really interesting to be BB's family, I was starting to think how I could deliver the best article in BB, and arranging tips and tricks to catch an important person, through BB I was learning how to be a punctual and responsible person. After a year being a member, I was being an assistant leader of CD, I was starting to arrange my and BB schedule, that was really good to establish the discipline in my life. In senior high school, I was leader of graphic design and editor division. In this division I had a responsibility to make BB looks catchy and worth reading, also to encourage my crews to work together and make the readers enjoy, learn, get knowledges, messages from BB. I want someday my scientific works will be published in international forum."

Q4. what are your strengths and weaknesses

"My weakness are I'll be easily feel down when I see many smarter people around me, so I always motivate myself that I can do the same and more than them, it really helps. I can't be disorganized because I've a trouble with procrastinating, so I always make a schedule and list the things that I have to do. My mood easily to change when I can't answer question or problem, because of that I put papers in somewhere that show my dream, after that I'll try harder to find the answer of the problem. I'm not easily satisfied with my work, so I always do all my tasks as perfect as possible. I'm a bit aggressive to reach my dream, but I hate being unfair. My strengths are If I've a dream, I'll strive so hard so I can reach my dream. I'm a punctual and discipline person. I can work as team, I love organizing, directing, explaining, and helping. I'm confident and love talking in front of people. I love writing, reading, and learning, and I love something that challenges me. I'm an adaptable person, so it's not hard for me to move to a new place."

Thanks a lot :)

Undergraduate / My motivation letter for science and technology research [3]

I'd like to apply an undergraduate program at X univ, and the question is "What motivated you to apply at X? why and what do you want to study at X? (400 words or less)

and here my essay :

"X is a well-known institute that have a main role in science and technology research, X has a competitive pupils, so I believe in X there is a tight competition in learning activity, thus I believe if everyone who enter X will become a professional man in their major. X has many professional lecturers, and X has produced many professional scientists, and no doubt, X is one of the best universities in the world. One of my dreams is becoming a scientist, I have dreamed and have a passion to become a scientist for a long time and I want to do many extraordinary researches, and I believe I can reach my dreams through X. Because of that I really want to be one of X's pupils. In X, I would like to learn about Biological Sciences, because I really fall in love with biology, all the things in biology make me so curious, and if I read biology books, it is like I read novels or comics, and I really enjoy that moment, I love being in biology laboratory and do many experiments, it is like I feel an amazing feeling when I wear my jacket lab and touch a frog, octopus, or mouse. without any fear and how I find that a starch will change if we add a few drops of lugol or any changes or responses of the organism, it is really unbelievable, but that is the fact, because of that my curiosity is growing bigger and bigger when I learn biology. I love to know about the structure of creatures and how the system of their body work. That is so incredible. I would like to have an extraordinary and unusual research in biology, and find many useful things in my research later, for example is like Francesco Redi, Lazzaro Spallanzani, Louis Pasteur, perharps, without them we still believe that organism comes from inanimate thing, without Alexander Flemming we will not find the most important thing in medicine, penicillin. and we can not explain how tobacco plants have spots if Adolf Mayer didn't find TMV (Tobaic Mosaic Virus), Because of that I really want to learn biology deeper and take biology as my major in X. If X give me an opportunity to become one of X's pupils, I will really study and work hard in X, and become a professional scientist in biology department."

i need your advise friends, please review my motivation letter, thank you very much :)