Writing Feedback / Toefl----moving to a new place can lose old friends [4]

This is my TOEFL essay. Please give me some suggestions.

I disagree that it's often not a good thing to move to a new town or country because they lose old friends.

First of all, by moving a new town or country, we can make more friends. When we stay the same place, we may familiar the place and people. However, we stay the same place for a long time and spend a lot of time getting along with these people, which we are possible to produce a tired attitude because of habit. In contrast, we can change the place and we can not only make new friends but also explore the new social life. For example, before I attended college, I lived in the place for 18 years including studying the senior and junior high schools. There is the small place, and people know each other. My classmates are also my older friends for a long time. But when I went to college, I moved other place. I know the other people who can teach me something I never know. It's funny to make different friends and I also share these things with my older friends. We still stay in touch.

Second, by moving a new town or country, we can understand the custom of other place. We live in the same place, and we may be familiar the environment. Although, we can alter the place and we can adjust the life with different mind. Because the same place we may be used to everything, we may know what things will happen in this place. When we move to other place, we can produce expectation of attitude as everything is new. We also can invite older friends for travel.

Finally, by moving a new place or country, we can abundance our life. We stay the same place, and we may talk the familiar topic with our older friends. However, we move other place, and we can stay in touch with older friends by telling them the novel things in the new place. It also can enhance the emotion of old friend and we also learn something novel things we never see before.

For the above reasons, we disagree that it's often not a good thing to move a new town or country because they lose old friends.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL--good teachers' salaries improve the quality of education fast [4]

Do you agree or disagree that the best way to improve the quality of education is to increase teachers' salaries?
this is my toefl essay, and please point the incorrect. thanks a lot!

I agree that the best way to improve the quality of education is to increase teachers' salaries.

By increasing teachers' salaries, teachers can spend more time on education. When the government increases the teachers' salaries, teacher can produce more responsibility in education. If the government decreases the part of salary, teachers may have thought why do we spend a lot of time on this? The government may want to spend money on the equipment or computers. It also the ways of improvement the education. However, we do more, we should take more. This thought is everyone who must have. When the government want to change the education, teachers are the crucial point

By increasing teachers' salaries, teachers can produce more enthusiasm in education. Teachers take the same salaries until today, when they entered this education. They must want to do more things at first. But things are changed, it need time to wait. However, government can increase their salaries in time, they have more confidence to insist.

By increasing teacher's salaries, teachers can spend more time on focus teaching material of research. Teachers also want change the quality of education, which they can do starting form the teaching material. Today the government doesn't want to raise salaries of teachers who don't have other strength to improve the materials. In contrast, by increasing teacher's salaries, teachers can throw themself into research the materials.

For the above reasons, I agree that the best way to improve the quality of education is to increase teachers' salaries. The reasonable salaries can improve the quality of education fast. Teachers are also people , is not machine. They also need money to relax so that they have strength when they back to work.

Writing Feedback / [TOEFL] A professor with a good sense of humour is more successful in teaching [NEW]

subject: Do you agree or disagree that a serious and strict is more effective than a teacher with humor and is easygoing?

Hi, I recently prepare TOEFL and I practice the essay.
I'm not good at essay. Please help me correct this.
I also want asking"as" using. Thank everyone!

I disagree that a serious and strict is more effective than a teacher with humor and is easygoing. My reasons are as follows.

First, a teacher with humor can enhance students who want to learn more. Human nature always want chase freedom. For example, parents always make us drop trash but we sometimes aren't willing to do that because of assigned. Learning is in the same reason. Learning have to be active, in that we are effective and willing in studying. We aren't compelled. A strict teacher cans make students get the high score in studying, but it's so painful. Learning and studying is fun and good thing.

Second, a teacher with humor can make student more attention in the class.
Students sometimes may feel tired, sleeping and boring, so they can't focus on what teachers teach. However, teachers with humor can make students to notice what teachers do. In addition to, student can impress the memory they study in the class.

A strict teacher may punish students for not concentrated, but students always catch time to do anything when they don't want going to class.

Finally, a teacher with humor can increase the relationship of students and teachers.
A serious and strict teacher may be good at education and students can get good point in studying. They also can learn carefully and strictly. But teachers can miss the chance that contact with students. Because teachers are the look of scare, students don't want to talk teacher anymore. When teachers and students they have the good relationship, teachers can know what students should need in time.

For above these reasons, I disagree a serious and strict teacher is more effective than a teacher with humor and easygoing

Writing Feedback / [TOEFL] What are the best ways of reducing stress? 'I prefer doing exercise' [4]

I think the ways of reducing stress exercise. My reasons are as follow as.

First, doing exercise can enhance the physical strength. I didn't be used to exercise before I went to work. When I started working, I always felt tired and weary. At that time, I didn't think exercise can make me to be strength to handle everything in life. However, in one day my boyfriend invited me going sports center because he bought a lot of tickets. When I wanted to try running one kilometer, I found I couldn't afford it. In that time I had this kind of experience, and I want to overcome this situation. So I almost checked in sports center every day. I have been vigorous since I go to exercise.

Second, doing exercise can promote metabolism. My face had a lot of acne. I spent a lot of money and time improving this condition, although it worked. Nevertheless, after going sports center several months I found my skin have been became flexible, smooth and young. I think it working by doing exercise regularly.

Finally, doing exercise can make me avoid the annoying things and people. I eventually can't face the upset things. I just face the machine and me. I also can calm my thought. When I encounter the rough trouble, by doing this I found many exits in my life.

For above this reasons, I prefer doing exercise release my stress. Sometimes most people may think we don't have enough time going sports center. However, I think doing exercise is the best way and convenient to release pressure, and you don't have to going sports center or gyms, you can go to the park or jogging on the sidewalk. I usually do that when I have no time.

Writing Feedback / [TOEFL]Do you agree or disagree the young children spend most of their time playing? [6]

I agree that young children should spend most of their time playing. My reasons are as follows.

First of all, the development of children shouldn't have pressure. The formal education might be possible teach our useful knowledge and information. Most of schools advocate that children can have the happy learning. However, teacher can't make sure children totally understand what mean in the books. Thus, most of teachers might hold a test to examine how children learn. By doing so, this will increase their pressure and disobey school's the original idea. They are just children,

and they should have the happy memory at that time.

Second, by playing, children can learn other things. Books can offer a lot of knowledge, which includes all kind of things. However, when children play, they also can learn through this way. For example, by climbing mountain, children can close to the nature and find some interest. They can see and teach the real trees, flowers, birds, and so on. It also can spur their brain's development. This scene might appear in the textbook, but people may have curiosity to see reality about everything, let alone children.

Finally, it is precious for children to have their child's memory. When they grow up, they might memory their childhood. Some children totally study and study in their childhood. They should be unhappy because they don't have everything without studying, when other people talk about what their happy childhood. In the contrast, playing can make children have the abundant life. Their life may not only study their homework but also make a lot of friends.

For the above reasons, I agree that children should spend most of their time playing.