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Posts by winchesters [Suspended]
Joined: Sep 6, 2011
Last Post: Sep 9, 2011
Threads: 3
Posts: 9  

From: Pakistan

Displayed posts: 12
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winchesters   
Sep 7, 2011
Writing Feedback / Essay about learning about past is valuable or not.. [4]

topic
Learning about the past has no value for those of us living in the present. Do you agree or disagree. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Most people think that past is past that has nothing to do with our present. However, in my view past is valuable and learning about it helps us in many ways. It reveals how life began, and how the technology we are savoring now exactly evolved. I want to know about my national heroes who ensured survival of my beloved independent country.

Knowledge about past tells us how exactly life originated, and living beings evolved.
It tells us about step by step progress in technology that how engineers succeeded in development of flamboyant buildings, dams and houses and other convenient facilities. I want to know about quest of scientists and doctors who sometimes accidentally and sometimes after research of many years unveiled cryptic phenomena in our nature and found the cure of deadly diseases. Hence past is worth to know about.

Our past tells us about how our predecessors used to live. The culture of an area is influenced by lots of civilizations that invaded an area and then left. It is important for all of us to know about history and diversity of our culture.

Most of our national heroes, who had lived in past, devoted their lives in survival of their homelands. We are living in presents because of the struggle of people lived in past. Whenever I study about a battle for independence of a country it brings an optimistic thought in my mind and aggrandizes the desire to do something for my country.

People may say this we live in present and we should learn about present, on the other hand I think I am alive because of our predecessors and I am relishing present convenient facilities that are products of most of our past scientists. In order to pay a tribute to them and to know about m
winchesters   
Sep 8, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL-Face-to-face communication is of great importance [4]

essay structure is good
as i am not a native speaker and also preparing for toefl so i can't sucrutinize this essay. i guess here rae some mistakes.

1.by of face-to-face....
no need of OF....
2.gap between straighforward
expressions(plural form)
3.substitutes of... not of
substitutes to
winchesters   
Sep 8, 2011
Writing Feedback / Authority, professionalism, and preplanning -an important skill a person should learn [4]

topic...What is an important skill a person should learn in order to be successful in world today. Choose one skill and use specific examples and reasons to support your answer.

In order to be a successful person one needs to be prepared on various fronts as life puts a lot of obligations on us. In my view, the most important skill to live a successful life is the ability to work under pressure. This skill is always desirable in any stage of life. Whether it is about the life of a student, a professional worker and a president, this skill ensures their success.

The art of working under pressure plays a fundamental role in success of a student. As life is full of trials, and emergencies come all of a sudden. It might possible a student has to endure a predicament or plight just few days before final exams, for instance, death of some relative or lack of financial assistance. In such situations a person has to take an important decision, in case of a student, about giving up exams or try to get over such crisis by meditation, self confidence and most importantly ability to bear pressure.

In practical life, the adjunct of this skill helps a person to win. Think about a pilot or a driver, who may have to suffer the dilemma when an accident could be right away. Think about a doctor whose responsibility is to save people and in case of failure he is considered to be amenable. If they all have ability of enduring the stress by avoiding hallucinations, they can save a lot of lives and their livings too.

A president has to maintain national as well as international relationships. A common citizen may consider a president, a most authoritative person. But when it is about survival of the country or other delicate situations then he has to take decisions with cool mind. If he or she has the art of working under pressure, then they can solve any conflict smoothly in an android manner.

Authority, professionalism, and preplanning are the factors that can't be helpful in all situations. However the ability to consider a problem not a problem and then get over it by thinking that it is just a temporary situation determines the success of a person.
winchesters   
Sep 9, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL-Work with a group of people on a team or to work independently [6]

greater chance to succeed....not success.
collaborate with others to some degrees...not for some degrees

don't use commas.... Although others, such as some farmers and writers, may work along, they still need to purchase....
write it this way...although others, such as some farmers and writers, may work alone but they still need assistance to purchase

overall good essay structure and logical examples.
good luck
winchesters   
Sep 9, 2011
Writing Feedback / People work because they need money to live. What are some other reasons people work. [5]

toefl topic. People work because they need money to live. What are some other reasons people work. Discuss one or more of these reasons. Use specific examples and details to support your answer.

Most people work because they need money. I believe there are also some other reasons about why people work. People want to keep them busy because it is a way to keep away thoughts about tragedies or sorrows of life. Some people enjoy the routine and prestige of their work.

Some people work to deal with their problems, for example they are not happy with their lives or they have lost some love one. They find solace or comfort in working. Otherwise if they don't work then it is very painful to think about past or tragedies of life. One best way to get rid of such thoughts is to keep oneself busy in work.

Some people are very agile, active who can't stand staying at home and do nothing. They think that without work life is meaningless, and dormant. They like the routine of getting up early in the morning and get to the work. On work they meet their friends and other employees, and they like their company. They have something to talk about when they meet their relatives. They talk about their work, and those who work in multinational companies can brag about their work in social get together.

It is in instincts of some people to feel happy by accomplishing some task through their work. They enjoy the prestige of being able to do something unique in their jobs. For instance, an architect engineer works day and night on a structure and tries to bring in some unique idea. If he succeeds in designing a flamboyant building or resort that attracts tourists from all over the world, then nothing will compares the happiness and satisfaction he feels.

In our society most people work for money, however, some people find working a best solution to get over the tragedies of life. Some people savor their work, and like their job routine, and some people relish the prestige of their work.
winchesters   
Sep 9, 2011
Writing Feedback / Children burden the hope of families and countries - be a good member of society [5]

to be more exact....more precisely
deeply affects babies... deeply affects their kids( children)
children burden the hopes...it means they are burden on hopes....it should be children are burdened by the hopes
how to greet to others...no TO after greet....how to greet others
don't give examples in brackets....write for instance in place of e.g and continue without brackets.
winchesters   
Sep 9, 2011
Writing Feedback / There is nothing that an uneducated person can teach an educated person. Do you agree [5]

no need to write this....To support my idea, there are some reasons, which are explained as follows...as checker already knows this
in first paragraph briefly mention the points you are going to discuss.
children enter to their families ....children become a part of their families would be more apropriate.

it summons of memories of my grandmother...i recall my grandmother
which explained everything...who explained everything(grandma)
this is way i am a good cook...that is why
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