Writing Feedback / 'Stress is a serious problem' - Ielts task [NEW]

Hey guys could you check this essay for me . It is really useful if someone can write some comments about my essay

Topic :In some societies, stress is now regarded as a major problem, and it is throught that people suffer from more stress than they did in the past.

however, others feel that the amount of stress people have today is exaggerated. they say that previous generations were under more pressure, but the idea of suffering from stress did not exist.

discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Stress is a serious problem that several societies have been facing . This lead numerous people try to compare the negative aspects of stress to society today and in the past . Some people believed that nowadays we are frequently cope with more pressure than before , whereas others biased on another side of this argument , and then they added stress concept did not exist in the past .

In modern society today , with numerous of concerns such as relationships , finances and promotions , people will more likely to become a depressive . In fact , achieving high living standard , people have to spend long hour to work which make them are not adequate time for relaxing . Furthermore , pollution in the air , water and noise are also serious factor that cause various health problems , for example cancer , headache and phthisis .Hence , a wide variety of things currently can be source of stress

On the other hand , back to several decade before , human living conditions were more better than today with green environment , fresh water and air and this help people might easily to reduce their stress . These things , however ,are just several positive aspects of living in the past and they are also cope with a numerous problems , for example war , disasters which kill million people . As a result , Our ancestors' life perhaps do not face with a range of pressure like today , however , they also have own serious problem during their period .

In conclusion , it is really hard for people to compare whether or not living today and previous which make more pressure to people , because each generation's life have own problems .It is expected that people should concentrate on reducing the pressure and establish positive living condition for next generation in the future .

Writing Feedback / Ietls7 - positive environment for children grow up (people with talents) [2]

Hj guys , what do you think about my essay . I think i did some mistake but i don't know where it is . So could somebody can help me to check this and also write me your comments about this . Thanks a lot

Topic : It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents , for instance for sport or music , and others are not . However , it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician .

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
To be successful in some areas such as physical subject or music which requires various elements . However , in fact a number of people are currently considering for natural talent's role which they believe that it performs principal factor, whereas other think that having balanced teaching standard will help child to be prosper .

Obviously , gifted children will more easily to work out to a tricky problems briskly and to establish positive social friendships . This , however, has blinded people to the fact that others can make quicker progress toward their academic and practical success by exchanging experience and knowledge and training hardly .Taking playing guitar an example, people can not to be professional guitarist in a short time without any training , it need to be patient and playing for a long time .Thus , natural talents is one of various element to make people become success in sport or music .

On the other hand , thanks to a wide various experience and knowledge which people obtained in the learning process and education ,they could enhance the transition from school to work . This means that slow students can be success , if they are given a special class or specialized instruction . For example , in some special competitions , a number of people can achieve a medal , even if they are a congenital defect such as blind . As a result , with balance teaching standard , we will more likely to provide our children a range opportunities to improve their skills

To conclusion , It is clear that to be success require more elements factor rather than just one natural talents .Furthermore , in the future we can create a good curriculum which combine talents and teaching to establish positive environment for children grow up. ( 305 words )

Writing Feedback / 'social perception development' children learn how to be good members of society [4]

Topic : Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society . Others , however believed that school is the place to learn this .

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion .

Children's education plays a considerable role which helps our child to develop not only mental ability , but also social perception . There are some ideas about this , a number of people think parents should take responsibility to teach their child , whereas others believe school is more advantage than parents. This essay will be analyzing arguments below by several points as follow .

To begin with , the influencing on parents to their son which is stable upbringing is vital role to improve children's ability . In fact , with a large number of experiences that parents are received in society which makes them easier when they provide their son advice . For example ,by teaching son the positive and also negative of playing game , parents will preclude various mistakes that children can make . Thus , it is significant errors , if separate the parent's responsibility for teaching their son to be good person.

On the other hand , school is a good place for pupil to develop critical skills such as physical ability and social problem solving. For instance, they can acquire positive relationship with friends , teachers and also a range of academic and non-academic subjects. At a result , with numerous advantages of taking school for pupils learning ,we contribute to children an array of major factors to grow up .

In conclusion , after analyzing the benefits of teaching pupils by parents and school . It is clear that both of them are an essential factor to make son a positive member of our society . It is expected that we can present balanced teaching system for our son in the future .

P/s : i hope someone can hepl me to check this essay , could you show me which mistake that i did in this essay .