Undergraduate / 'I have handled almost everything' - UC Prompt 2 [3]

My first essay was 694 words...So this one had to be 306 to meet the Application Limit of 1000 words. I would greatly appreciate quick feedback! Thank you!

Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?

AP Tests were coming up...What was I to do? The early weeks of May 2011 were some of the most stressful of my life. The 2 week AP Testing deadline was fast approaching, and I was at a loss for what I should do. As you know, AP Tests are taken for 2 weeks in May. The weekend in between these weeks? The SATs. The week after? Dance performance. My AP US Teacher (no longer allowed to teach AP) left me at a great disadvantage for his test, while Statistics wasn't looking to be the easiest test in the world either...and all the while I worried myself sick about the SATs. In addition, I was part of a cultural folk dance group and we were having a performance the week following. So the news from my doctor that I might have a heart disease was not exactly the most exciting thing in the world; but, I didn't let it affect me. That's something that has always fascinated me about myself: The fact that I don't let stress get to me. Rather than submit to pressure and back away from the challenge, I faced it. I have handled almost everything, from personal ailments to deaths in the family, and I am proud to say that I am still able to stand tall and say that I triumphed over the stress of life. That time period was particularly taxing to me, because it essentially decided my future. If I did poorly on either the AP Tests or the SATs, it would affect the course my life would take. But I saw it as an opportunity to grow as a person. I figured that if I could study under conditions such as this, then college may as well give me its best shot, because I'm giving mine right back.

Undergraduate / 'My schooling and my parents' - The world you come from-UC Application [4]

Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

One main point of concern is whether the second paragraph ("Alongside my schooling...") is even necessary, or if there should be some form of a conclusion. Either way, I would appreciate feedback and Thank You in advance for your help.

Check-up on Tuesday, Physical Therapy on Wednesday, Allergy Shots Friday. Stitches removed next week, and maybe an eye exam to update my prescription. As your standard 17 year old kid with more Medical Problems than I can count on my fingers, I have been to just about every doctor you can think of. From Allergy Shots to Asthma treatment and from Optometrists to Cardiologists; from day one there has always been SOME type of impending medical appointment that I had to catch, be it for a crucial test or just a follow up. Amazingly, I was never bothered much by going to them, seeing as they all seemed to have one thing in common; the one thing I wanted from them. For years I couldn't understand what this interest, this "connection" so to speak, was. But finally, one day it hit me. Knowledge. All it took was a 7th grade science class to unlock the utopia that was the Human Body. I had finally begun to understand what all this "doctor speak" meant! It was here that I first realized my love of the sciences. It was the first class that I actually felt myself engaged and interested in what I was learning; a feeling that was not familiar to me at the time. Upon my entry to high school, I was placed in Freshman Biology. It was here that I got my first taste of what High School science was like, and I definitely wanted more. While other classes fluctuated between slightly difficult or humorously easy, Science quickly became the one class that I could rely on for an A. Fast forwarding through the Honors Science courses provided at my school, I eventually found the one I was searching for at the very start of this year: Advanced Physiology. The class that was only separated from AP stature due to the fact that there is no necessary freshman level Physiology class in most colleges. This class really began to sharpen my focus in the medical world, as we started to observe specific body systems and functions. As we progressed through the various organs, I saw each and every part in a completely new light. I was, and still am, amazed at the beautiful intricacies of the body. Immune systems, circulatory systems, I was loving every moment of it. From very early on I realized that I simply could not stop here. This class essentially planted to seed that will now grow and mature over the years, as I delve deeper into the depths of medicine and the body. I do this all with the hopes that one day, I too can become one of these many doctors I have come in contact with. An intelligent being who wakes up every morning knowing that they get to spend their day in an effort to improve everyone else's. Having that special empathy, knowing what it feels like to be sitting in a doctor's office with some ailment or another, only fuels my desire to do anything in my power to make that person feel better.

Alongside my schooling, there were always my parents. They were always pushing me, making me want more out of myself. They helped form some of my study habits and to this day I still owe my life to them. Being from an Indian family, school is always pushed VERY hard. Even in the second grade I remember going over multiplication flash cards night after night. It was from them that I got my love of the sciences. Every child in an Indian family knows how much emphasis is put on the job of doctor. In fact, today's society has somewhat of an "Indian Doctor" stereotype. Had it not been for this early influence, I might have never learned how much interest I had in the human body, and am very grateful for the early guidance I received.

Word Count: 651

Undergraduate / "Obsessed family" - The world you come from, UC [2]

Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

If I were to choose one word to describe my family, it would be obsessed. The thing about living in an Indian family is that there is constantly an unrealistic emphasis on grades and school work. I rarely hear about how well I have already done, but instead I hear about what I could do to improve. I have ecstatically brought home many an award only to hear about how I could have done better had I just applied myself more. The worst part of being in high school in this situation is that now all I hear about is how "so-and-so's kid got accepted at Berkeley" or "did you know he got into Davis?" The main emphasis is always on where you end up, not enjoying how you got there. This has somewhat changed me in that I now am rarely satisfied. I can study hard and do my best for an 85 on a test and I'll actually be embarrassed at the score. If I have a 91 in a class I no longer think of it as "Sweet, I got an A!" but rather "Wow that's looking pretty close to a B, I should get that up". It's bad in the sense that it always keeps me preoccupied (even if it's subconsciously) on my grades and how I'm doing. It's good in that it allows me to strive forward and if I see something wrong I can always buckle down and do my best to fix the problem.

Mainly, I view life as a long winding road. Of course there are the bumps, cracks, and potholes we hear everyone talk about with this metaphor; but I feel there is something more. I see myself as a vehicle, a bus perhaps, on this road. So far along my journey I've picked some people up, and I've dropped some off... all that's left of the others is just the saddening image of their empty seat. All the while I've kept moving forward, I have not stopped. But, it seems that no matter how fast I am going, or how efficiently I do things, I'm always driving to the tune of the backseat driver. In their eyes, I can never seem to go fast enough; never seem to be efficient enough. This mindset keeps me ever accelerating; always going faster. Along this long road, there have been many little hiccups. There are times when I feel like I'm running out of gas, "running on fumes" per say. Other times when something on the side of the road looks so interesting I just want to stop, or perhaps go backwards just to satisfy the need. It's required a bit of fine tuning, but I have managed a vague sense of balance amidst all the chaos. All my experiences along this road have made me more of a well-rounded person. I have learned how to manage speed bumps and how to get the most fuel efficiency. An oil change is no longer a problem, because I can easily adapt to my surroundings. Perhaps the most important lesson if all is just learning that despite all the background noise and all the stress involved on this trip, that sometimes it's best to just sit back and enjoy the ride. It surprises me to find that many of the other cars on the road are in some kind of dire rush; they just don't seem to recognize when to take a small break. Let the engine cool off, overheating is the last thing one needs at this point. Don't misconstrue it though; there are times when a break just isn't in the cards, that's where the balance comes into play. All in all, these tricks and maneuvers I have picked up have ultimately done me good in getting where I'm going, while not making it a complete bore getting there. The roads of life I have already traveled will help me reach that special "road less traveled" we all strive for.

Word Count: 667