Undergraduate / 'A Beans' Worst Nightmare - Lima Beans- uc #2 [2]

This is my first draft, so it might be a little rough. Any suggestions would be much appreciated! For instance i worry that it might be too abstract and confusing. Also I could use some help on strengthening my conclusion. Thanks in advance!

"Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?"

A Beans' Worst Nightmare

It's was the taste. The gritty, paste-like insides that made my stomach squirm like an enraged eel. I hated Lima Beans. Who could blame me? As a 5 year old, I had experienced the wonderful world of chocolate far before I knew that it was even possible for anything green to be edible. After that first mind blowing bite, chocolate soon was all that mattered. Although it seems ridiculous to me now, as a child I had once even demanded that there be chocolate with every meal. So it was no surprise that my parents received a full scale rebellion when, expecting a candy bar, I was given a side of gross green objects that only aliens would find appetizing. I admit; I was a rude little 5 year old. Nonetheless I was steadfast in my refusal to eat Lima Beans. A life with those vegetables just seemed impossible.

Life however, doesn't like the word impossible. As I matured from that rude little child, I discovered what my parents had meant - people don't always get their chocolate. As a gay teenager this became painfully apparent. Obviously, growing up wasn't easy. The wars I waged with my ADHD and the incessant bullying made my life miserable. I soon realized that life was chalk full of challenges. Understanding this and that the problems wouldn't just go away, as well as fed up with simply closing myself off; I soon developed the determination to confront and overcome the obstacles that were taking over my life. It is through this determination that my life has been defined.

Today, I love my metaphorical Lima Beans more than any chocolate ever conceived. Whether it is starting each day at 4:30am and riding the hour long city bus to school, rigorous AP classes or social stigmas; my determination has allowed me to learn that the benefits of fighting through life's challenges are far greater than simply avoiding them. I know life will always have its challenges. That is something that won't change, what can change however, is how I confront them. This time, I know I'll be eating all the vegetables on my plate. Lima beans, be warned.

Undergraduate / 'The Power of Music' - UC 1 [2]

JK i wish it would be about monkeys, that would be awesome, but no it's just another personal statement like every other post here. But while your sitting there depressed about your inability to find a good monkey story perhaps you can take your frustrations out on my essay? :)

UC prompt #1
any and all comments would be much appreciated!

The Power of Music

Boom. Standing there, I stared out into the dark in which I knew thousands of faces hid behind the blinding glare of the stage lights. Undaunted, I listened as the crisp thunder of my drum roared away out into that darkness, hushing all the whispers. Only stark silent anticipation remained. Boom. With that second thunderclap, I let the world fade away as my body whirled into action. Boom.

I hit things. Hard. As ridiculous as it might sound, pounding on massive drums that are often taller than I am, is one of my favorite hobbies. It began when I first heard that unmistakable roar, one hot summer's day amidst a jubilant audience of content elderly and laughing children; gorging myself on Teriyaki chicken, my fingers sticky with the heavenly sauce. It was the way the silent, stoic figures dominated the stage, their presence bluntly juxtaposed with the rest of the chaotic scene. The way the beat of those drums managed to resonate with every fiber of my being, manipulating me as if I were nothing more than a feather in a hurricane. The power of music, once again, had me in its grasp. I became hooked on Taiko.

Walking into the intimidating Dojo that first day, with its clear cut Japanese architecture and bamboo garden displayed the enormous transformation that my life has undergone. Just a year before at the start of my freshman year, I could effectively have been called a tragic mess. As a gay teenager desperately trying to make sense of the world, anything and everything was my enemy. Depression, bad grades and apathetic detachment started their take over as the walls I built around myself continued to grow ever higher. It seemed I was destined to become a high school dropout. Yet going on the advice of my councilor's last ditch effort to keep me in high school, I found my unlikely savior. Music. Within months after joining band, the stunningly open and accepting atmosphere had completely remodeled and rejuvenated my life. I relished the feeling as my walls crumbled apart and I began to open up. No longer hindered by any barriers I discovered that while being able to express my creativity, free of judgment and persecution, something inside me just clicked. Although I don't consider myself a musical genius, soon I was learning to play anything I could get my hands one from the marimba in drum-line, the baritone saxophone in jazz band to the oboe in Honor band. Inspired by the uplifting motivation I found in the band room, my aspirations began to grow. My first target was my grades. Often staying hours after even the janitors left the school, I would be working with my teachers and councilors. In a semester I had managed to drastically turn my grades around and entire academic career around. Further emboldened by this accomplishment and equipped with my unquenchable drive to pursue my passions, nothing could hold me back. Robotics, Debate, City planning, MESA, Computer programming, and now Taiko; Music has awaken in me a drive and passion that has and will continue to help me achieve more than I had dreamed possible. I am hooked on life.

Gracefully jumping in-between the complex maze of drums, as a rabbit would when evading a predator, I swiftly land each beat and step with a deeply honed precision. Boom. Breathing hard, sweat seeping into my head band, I twisted into the finale with the rest of the group, collectively slamming our Bachi onto the drums. Boom. We listened as the sounds of our breathless panting became drowned out by another roaring sound. Applause.