Unanswered [11] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by hahahohohe [Suspended]
Joined: Dec 3, 2011
Last Post: Dec 24, 2011
Threads: 1
Posts: 17  


Displayed posts: 18
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
hahahohohe   
Dec 24, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Love&MD' - Common Application Essay [4]

hmm...
im sure you can write very well.

but what do u intend this essay to show? what does it tell about you that is attractive to a university?
hahahohohe   
Dec 24, 2011
Undergraduate / 'how i was discriminated against on' - Georgia Tech [12]

if i were you, i wont aim for Illinois.
I will aim for Harvard Yale Princeton Stanford MIT.
Although your SAT/ACT scores arent fantastic, you have excellent extra-curriculars and 11 APs (?!??!)
I'm sure the importance of SAT/ACT pales in comparison to those. Afterall, SAT/ACT merely tests your language. It does accurately reflect how intellectually developed you are and how much potential you have.

For me, I have pretty good SAT scores, but i only took 4 APs as of now. (taking Physics C: Mech and EM and econs next year). My extracurriculars are obviously not as good as yours.

whats more, i was accepted by UIUC though I crapped out my essay.
hahahohohe   
Dec 23, 2011
Undergraduate / Unity is what brings about knowledge and a second home UPENN ESSAY [3]

hmm thats abit too much to chow down for conclusion isnt it.
I didnt see u talking about math in your previous paragraph.

Your essay is fine in my opinion. perhaps expand the part on how you're going to contribute to the Penn community?
hahahohohe   
Dec 21, 2011
Undergraduate / 'I am a Romantic' - Stanford Letter to Future Roommate [13]

wow. i'm impressed.
great piece of essay!

perhaps you could add something like "I am smiling to myself now as I think of the memories we might make together at Stanford. Maybe we'll patch each other's hearts up after they've been stabbed by our ex-boyfriends. Maybe we'll study and quiz each other till 4am for a big test. Maybe we'll both be Kpop fans and learn Super Junior's latest dance moves together. Till the day I meet you, I can only wonder. "

suit ur essay better anyway.
hahahohohe   
Dec 20, 2011
Undergraduate / Yale Supp't Essay- The Trouble with Math [7]

hmm.
i think this essay is quite interesting on its own.

But i dont get why you are using this for Yale. What do you want this essay to show? The way you phrased in your essay was as if you were inherently bad at math and managed to achieve good results all through hard work. But everyone in Yale is hardworking. In what way do you stand out?

I would suggest writing something like what has influenced to become the person you are today, and relate that to how yale will help you in becoming the person you want to be.

Hope that helps.
hahahohohe   
Dec 19, 2011
Undergraduate / Extracurricular Essay -Rowing [6]

I enjoy rowing because I do it with my closest friends; the people I have come to trust most in my life as they experience alongside me, the same pains and joys of training and competing.

there is something wrong with this sentence. The sentence structure should Subject Verb Object; Subject Verb Object.

overall, its fine.
hahahohohe   
Dec 19, 2011
Student Talk / What are my chances to get into the following schools? [16]

haha thanks for your feedback.
i dont think i would want to put up my essays here 'cos im worried that the universities consider that as plagiarism.

nope i did not take any SAT prep class.

Idk what exactly my safeties are, but I doubt I would want to attend UIUC, Wisconsin-Madison, UCLA and Washington St Louis.
The other unis are fine. But if I have no other choice, then yea at least UIUC already accepted me.
hahahohohe   
Dec 16, 2011
Undergraduate / Extracurricular Essay -Rowing [6]

hmm. i find this essay generally okay. one small problem is that you started quite a number of sentences with "I", which sounds repetitive. Perhaps you can change some of the sentence structures?
hahahohohe   
Dec 12, 2011
Undergraduate / 'pretty campus pictures' - Duke supplement-why duke [5]

erm, you sure those were the exact words your teachers said? sounded unreal to me.
your second paragraph is pretty good tho. im fine with the "i want" repetitions. found them more impactful than monotonous. shows that you've done research on the university itself anyway.

you should take into account what admission2012 said tho. the part about loving duke just because you saw pictures on its website.
hmm, but that wont immediately place you in the rejection pile. it depends on the whole package of your application anyway.
hahahohohe   
Dec 4, 2011
Undergraduate / 'I wanted to navigate the seas of freedom' - significant experience essay [2]

Hey,

Your essay is pretty focused, first from your art class ruminations to its connection with your father and finally how the experience relates to you as a person. The language is smooth and a wide range of vocabularies used. I enjoyed reading it.

I have one concern though. You mentioned that "In America, I learned, it all comes down to outer appearances."
This is a pretty provocative claim. Are you hinting that Americans are shallow? The admission officer might take offence at it.
I would suggest you to find a more euphemistic way to put it across.
Albeit that, good job. I like your ending!
hahahohohe   
Dec 3, 2011
Student Talk / What are my chances to get into the following schools? [16]

Hi all

I am applying to 8ivies, stanford, chicago, duke, northwestern, michigan, UC Berkeley, UCLA, Wisconsin Madison, UIUC
I apply early to UIUC.
What are my chances of getting into them?

I have a 2340 composite score for SAT1 (770CR 770M 800Wrt). I took it twice though, 2240 the first time and 2310 the second.
My scores for SAT2 is 790Math Lvl2, 770Chem, 730Physics, 740Math Level1.
I also have an unweighted GPA of 4.1 (out of 5), and i got "5"s in AP Calc BC, Stats, Physics B and Chem.
I also published a scientific journal paper and a conference paper, having attended a few of the international conferences.
Leadership wise, i have been the vice captain of my school's table tennis team since 9th Grade and the class CIP Interactor, who is in charge of organizing community service programs.

Hmm, i also got a Bronze Medal in the National Mathematical Olympiad.

Yea thats all
Thanks!

Btw can any of you read my essays!!
I am at a loss!

Patrick
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳