djpralex
Dec 26, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS essay_Should the cost of medicines be reduced? [2]
Hi,
I liked that your essay has your effective arguments and I like that you gave your point of view on how to change the matter instead of the questioned method. One thing I found a little shaky about was that your first two paragraphs was a lot of redundant overview of what is already said in the question. It feels like you begin with a lot of drag so I advise that you cut down on the background and give more insight on your own views. Other than that I feel you have a strong essay.
Hi,
I liked that your essay has your effective arguments and I like that you gave your point of view on how to change the matter instead of the questioned method. One thing I found a little shaky about was that your first two paragraphs was a lot of redundant overview of what is already said in the question. It feels like you begin with a lot of drag so I advise that you cut down on the background and give more insight on your own views. Other than that I feel you have a strong essay.