Undergraduate / 'Dear Admissions Staff, I don't give a Shih Tzu' [19]

It's kind of a risky essay, so be brutally honest.
Dear Admissions Staff:
My name is Prince, and I am a shih tzu. Particularly, I belong to Karissa Austin, a young lady who is applying for a spot at your prestigious institution. Of all people (or animals) in the world, I get to observe her behavior most closely, so I feel I will be able to give you a glimpse of what her personality is like.

Karissa is the type of person who likes to do things; she can't stand being stuck at home for too long. For example, she bothers her sister to go with her to take me on walks, just for the sake of getting out of the house. She loves to bake sweets and cook ethnic foods from different cultures, particularly Middle Eastern dishes. Raised in a suburb, she adores the complexity and diversity of cosmopolitan areas. I think she would love the big city vibe of New York, don't you?

She is also a big goof ball. She laughs constantly and loves to be silly. She's truly a kid at heart! She loves to come up with silly stories about the romance between me and the neighbor's dog, Faith, but that's quite ridiculous considering I've never even met the gal. For all her juvenility, though, Karissa is mature. Her friends, family, and peers find her to be dependable and hardworking, traits that I know Karissa prides herself on.

I've seen my fair share of Karissa's internal struggles. I've been there when she had to pull all nighters doing homework and projects, combating stress and sleep deprivation. I've been there when she has existential crises, and I was there to see her float back to reality. I've gotten to see Karissa deeply contemplate life after high school. She likes to ponder the undiscovered country known as the future. She approaches it with excitement and anticipation, with doses of apprehension and uncertainty.

Karissa is not perfect. She can get grumpy when she's tired, she can have a temper, and she smothers me sometimes with her big hugs. But these are also the things that make her so great. She may get testy when she hasn't slept enough, but she does so in the name of hard work. She may be quick to anger, but she does so to defend what she believes in. Above all, she may suffocate me a little with her embraces, but it's only because she's a loving, compassionate person. In the end, that's all I need.

I hope you consider her for admission; she would love to be the next addition to your university and will not disappoint!

Respectfully Yours,
Prince

I hope it didn't come off like i'm arrogantly talking about myself in the third person. If it did, PLEASE TELL ME!