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Posts by gurecka
Joined: Dec 28, 2011
Last Post: Jan 22, 2012
Threads: 2
Posts: 7  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 9
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gurecka   
Jan 22, 2012
Research Papers / I S U on Divorce, any corrections ? [10]

Very well written & organized. It's lengthy, but that would only be expected of a research paper. There's not much to do about it being "boring," without getting too off topic and unprofessional. I am also unfamiliar and not very knowledgeable of the topic, so if you have any actual errors in research I would not be able to find them.. I really like it, I don't see why you're not confident about it.. & thank you for the help on mine.
gurecka   
Jan 14, 2012
Scholarship / 'I lived in New Jersey' - important life event [3]

In a certain time of my life, I lived in New Jersey and this was actually the first placed I lived in the United States.

awkward sentence... say what ages...

try this: I moved from India to New Jersey in ____, and resided there until i was ____ years old.

For about the first month being in the States, I did not venture out of our apartment and during this time, the only people I talked to were the members of my family.

try : The entire first month i lived in the united stated i only spoke to my family and rarely left my apartment.

. I buckled up and convinced that it would not be so bad. Having gone through the doors, I went to the counter and ordered the first thing on the menu with a very heavy Indian accent: a slice of cheese pizza.

Say: I buckled up and convinced myself it would be okay. I walked through the doors, went to the counter, and ordered with a heavy Indian accent the first thing on the menu: a slice of cheese pizza.

In retrospect, that one day single when I set aside my shyness, my life to changed.

Looking back, I realize that my life changed simply because I was able to set aside my shyness.
gurecka   
Jan 13, 2012
Scholarship / 'I plan to major in biology' - Scholarship Louisville [7]

I plan to major in biology, and I believe that the biology department will help me achieve my educational goals.

This sentence should either be changed into something less simple, or should be merged into the next sentence...like this :

I very much enjoy, and plan to major in biology because it allows for critical analysis of theories and vast experimentation which leads to new solutions.

In the future, I am interested in the opportunity to apply my biology degree to help the community. I plan to use my education in biology to positively impact my own community.

those sentences are redundant.

An OB/GYN is a physician who specializes in obstetrics and gynecology. Obstetrics is a branch of medical science that deals with the delivery in childbirth. Gynecology is a branch of medical science that deals with diseases and routine physical care of the reproductive system of women.

you don't need to explain what you want to do - most people know what an OBGYN is. state more WHY you want to do it and HOW it will help the community like you say.

Although the process of achieving a medical career is very challenging, I am confident that with dedication to my studies and with the guidance from the University of Louisville, I will be able to achieve this goal. I am dedicated to work hard, focus and learn from my future U of L professors.

Very good, i like this sentence a lot. But i think it should be placed toward the end maybe.

To further my insight in entering the health career field, I have been a blood drive committee member for two years. This allows me to volunteer at my high school for the Hoxworth blood drives. The blood drive committee has given me the chance to shadow a Phlebotomist. A Phlebotomist is a nurse or health trained worker in drawing venous blood for testing and/or donation. I was able to learn with a medical team.

WAY too choppy.. make it flow. it's very awkward. try this:

I have volunteered at my school's blood drives to further my insight to the health field. I even got the opportunity to shadow a Phlebotomist, (say what you did and what you saw and how it gave you insight).

KEEP IN MIND that the question asks how your UPCOMING education (at U of L) will help the community. Talk more about what YOU will do AT the school, not what you have done. and show exactly where that will bring you in the future. you are on the right track in the beginning but the blood drive part veers off track a bit.

Hope this helped.
gurecka   
Dec 29, 2011
Undergraduate / 'middle-class household, suburban Pennsylvania' Rice cultural tradition/contribution [3]

The quality of Rice's academic life and the Residential College System are heavily influenced by the unique life experiences and cultural traditions each student brings. What perspective do you feel that you will contribute to life at Rice? (Most applicants are able to respond successfully in two to three double-spaced pages.)

Well, I'm going to be honest, I'm fully American.... So I had trouble with this one...
I grew up in a typical, middle-class household in suburban Pennsylvania. My parents were both born in the United States of America. My father's parents are German, and my mother's are Italian. They each grew up with a different set of cultural traditions, which did not make it to my generation, except for the big Italian meals and style of cooking. My parents decided to move to Florida in 2000 where they became a part of the fifty percent of marriages that have ended in divorce. With no family close by, even the large Italian home-style meals occurred less frequently, if at all. My dad got remarried to a woman with a Swedish background, who has her own set of cultural traditions that she only follows around the holidays. My family is the epitome of the phrase "the American melting-pot."

Although my family has not passed down many original cultural traditions, we have, in a sense, come up with our own traditions. For example, every summer, I embark on a vacation with my father, my stepmother, my little brother, and my stepsister. These vacations typically last about a week, and consist of sightseeing, fancy-dinner-eating, family bonding, and the occasional but unavoidable bickering that occurs between any two given members of the family. Overall, I can't complain, because it is through this yearly tradition of family vacationing that I have experienced and learned to appreciate a plethora of other cultural practices and traditions.

The first year we took one of these vacations, we traveled to San Francisco. We visited China town, walked the Golden Gate Bridge, ate clam chowder from bread bowls, took a tour of Alcatraz, and learned about the history of the Cable Car. I learned to appreciate the city lifestyle, walking from place to place and taking taxis when we could not make it. I realized that some of the fish I ate, even in Florida, came from hard-working fishermen on the San Francisco bay. Then I traveled to New York, to experience first hand the hustle-bustle portrayed so often in films. It was just as I expected: taxis practically running people over, stressed out business people yelling at each other, and homeless beggars lining the streets. The amount of action excited me, but after a four-day experience in New York, I was ready to go home. The following year, I traveled to Nashville, Tennessee. I had no idea that two places in the same country could be so polar-opposite of each other. People in Nashville were perhaps the most hospitable and laid-back people I have ever met. We visited the Country Music Museum and the Grand Ole Opry, where I heard true country music for the first time. I had always hated country music, but ever since my trip to Nashville, the country radio stations have been among my favorites. I have also traveled to South Carolina, Arizona, Southern California, and Louisiana to name a few, and each place has further enriched my appreciation and acceptance of other cultures.

Perhaps more enriching than my national vacations have been my international vacations. I have been to Jamaica and various parts of the Bahamas, where I was offered, and kindly declined, marijuana on several occasions. I witnessed how the natives worked to produce food and clothing for themselves. I noticed how tourism is the main source of revenue in these places, and consumerism plays much less of a role. I respect these people and their culture, and I appreciate their ability to self-sustain. This appreciation would not be truly possible had I not traveled there on a family vacation.

Europe was another international vacation that my family and I took a few years ago. We traveled first to Spain, where I tried food I had never even heard of such as Paella. Then we went to France, and although I did not venture as far as to try escargot, I visited Monte Carlo and saw the beautiful beaches of Marseille while enjoying fresh baguettes. After France, we visited Italy where I splurged on a handmade Italian leather purse and indulged in fresh mozzarella and tomato, homemade pasta, and the best pizza I have ever tasted. In all three places, we visited millennium-old landmarks like The Colosseum and The Tower of Pisa. During my European vacation, along with at least seven pounds, I gained a deeper appreciation for history and culture than I ever could have in the United States.

The fact that my typical American family came up with our own tradition of traveling yearly to new places has truly given me an appreciation and enrichment of other cultures that would not be otherwise possible. As I enter the next phase of my life, the university, I will bring with me the recognition and gratitude for the other cultures I will be associating and living with. The Residential College System at Rice University will especially require the appreciation I have gained through my family travels because I will be exposed to such a vast number of cultures and traditions brought by the diverse student body; the student body will, in turn, benefit me by enriching my cultural background even further. Although I was brought up in a household with not one predominant culture, my family's American tradition of traveling every summer has given me the opportunity to learn from and respect other cultures - something that will define and be a part of me forever.
gurecka   
Dec 28, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Quantum Theory' or 'My summer' - Vitality and Roomate Letter [6]

The roommate essay, I would focus less on Stanford and more on showing yourself.. This is not the essay to be telling the admissions officers how high and mighty Stanford is - they already know. I like the first paragraph though. Maybe focus on the living situation more, what you'll have in the dorm, what you do in your free time
gurecka   
Dec 28, 2011
Undergraduate / 'the power to change the world' - What matters to you, and why? Stanford supplement [5]

What matters to you, and why? Stanford supplement

Well, i figured i should come up with something different than the usual family, achievements, world peace, etc. so here's what i came up with:

What did Martin Luther King Jr., Abigail Adams, Frederick Douglass, Nelson Mandela, and even, dare I say, Adolf Hitler have in common? Yes, they all did change the world - but how? Their voice. Their ability to speak gave them the power to change the world. The ability to speak matters to me; it allows for communication as well as expression of thoughts and opinions. My ability to speak allows me to do anything from commanding my dogs to sit, to asking my teacher to help me with a problem on the board, to informing my entire school of ways to raise money for cancer research. The bottom line is speaking leads to action, and action can ultimately lead to change. Of course, when the ability to speak is placed in the wrong hands, as in Adolf Hitler, action can lead to change for the worse. The action that followed Hitler's powerful speaking was the murder of approximately 11 million people. I hope, however, that my ability to speak leads to action for the better. I want to inform the world on the many ways to protect the environment. I want to tell everyone about the horrendous conditions and poverty in Africa that so many people have to suffer with. Most of all, I want to expose the realities of diseases such as cancer that billions of people die from every year, including innocent children. My theory is that if I can notify the world of its problems, people will join me in taking action to solve them. My ability to speak and communicate is what will ultimately define the changes I inhibit and therefore the mark I leave on the world, and that is why it matters to me so much.
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