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Posts by anonymous124
Joined: Jan 15, 2012
Last Post: Jan 15, 2012
Threads: 4
Posts: 6  
From: Nepal

Displayed posts: 10
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anonymous124   
Jan 15, 2012
Undergraduate / 'A Melodious Experience' - CommonApp Essay [2]

A Melodious Experience

The distant roar of applause signals the approach of my turn to perform. The backstage is occupied with apprehensive faces, hastily moving around. The air has a stimulating feel to it, and the ambiance is of anticipation. I take a deep breath and loosen up my muscles. My first musical performance is about to begin. In the seconds before it does, I reflect on how I became a singer.

Music has always fascinated me. When I was eight, my father bought a cassette player and I was eager to get my hands on the peculiar device. The music it played enchanted me and I became an avid collector of music tapes. From that day on I would listen to any kind of music.

Eventually, I tried to sing along and I liked it. I practiced, promising myself that I would not stop until I was good as the professional singers I was emulating. I listened closely to each musical piece, religiously scrutinizing its distinct and precise features. However, my desire to sing perfectly eventually made it impossible for me to sing in public. As much as I loved singing, I knew that I had to find a way to give a performance, do my best, and live with the results.

Consequently, I realized that I could not give up my passion. I worked on performing publicly, and improved day by day. Whenever provided the chance to sing in front of my family or friends, I readily did. This improved my otherwise hesitant character and pushed me to heights that I had never imagined. When I got an opportunity to sing at a local event, I grasped it.

And here I am, about to give my first ever musical performance. Another round of applause indicates the end of the previous act and the beginning of mine. I step into the spotlight and pause. I remember the hours of practice and brace myself as I prepare to start the song. The familiar squeal of the microphone alerts the audience. The speakerphone vibrates simultaneously as I articulate the first words of my song.

The words come and I sing as if I were alone in my bedroom with the cassette player. I even forget that I am on stage and am occupied completely with the music. When the curtain falls, I know that I can sing on stage without worrying that the performance will not be good enough.

I realize that doing something you love requires just doing it, even if it is less than perfect, at first and being unafraid to take the stage and make a mistake. Every time I sing, it is my best even if it is less than the perfection I am striving for.

Thanks for the future feedback :)
anonymous124   
Jan 15, 2012
Writing Feedback / fatherhood and motherhood is important in children life [2]

You have many spelling and grammatical errors. Please go over the text once again and use a spell checker. You seem to be very weak in this area. Seek professional help from your teacher or someone who can give advice on this.

Plus, structure of essay is important. Separate paragraphs and differentiate the issues.

Hope this helps :)
anonymous124   
Jan 15, 2012
Undergraduate / 'my encounter with David' - Macalester Supplement (Diverse experience) [2]

Describe a situation where you had to work or closely associated with someone from a culture very different from your own. What challenges did you face and how did you resolve them?

Our class had a visitor that day. His name was David and he was from the United Kingdom. We were all interested at the arrival of this alien who was to join our class for a whole week. Apparently, his ongoing research on high school students from all over the globe had brought him to our school.

From a distance, I was quite intrigued by David. I was hardly ever around foreign people so it was natural for me to find him fascinating. He had a strange accent and an uncanny body language. I found this amusing! However, when at the end of the day the teacher announced that I was to help David for the rest of the week, I was appalled.

My bus ride home was spent thinking about how I could possibly work with David. To make matters worse, I already felt awkward around him and I was sure that he could not relate to me. Plus, he was from a different culture and was from a different country altogether. These thoughts kept on occurring to me.

The next day, after considering faking sickness to miss school, I decided that I would give the task a try. David was there to greet me when I reached the class. I had planned on speaking little and replying only when questioned. However, his friendly conversations made it unable for me to maintain my silence. As the day progressed, I started to find his company quite pleasant.

I soon realized that we had a lot in common. He shared my interest in blues rock and enjoyed playing the guitar too. We both loved watching soccer and we even hooted for the same teams! I was also intrigued by his lifestyle in the UK and his cultural activities. David himself wanted to know more about my way of life and was rather interested in learning about our cultural rituals.

When the week ended, we shared our goodbyes and promised to keep in touch. I also gifted him a traditional 'Dhaka Topi', an oval shaped Nepali hat, which he happily accepted.

After my encounter with David, I started to become more interested in foreign cultures and make new friends of different backgrounds from over the world. I am continuing this habit and have found the information I acquired through these endeavours to be highly valuable.

Thanks in advance for the future feedback(s) :)
anonymous124   
Jan 15, 2012
Writing Feedback / Job security or job satisfaction? Which is better? [2]

You can use 'one' only in lieu of 'one of the' to make it less wordy. For eg. one of the controversial matters
Structure your essay. Give at least three points for your argument and maybe one point against your argument. Don't forget to resolve the 'against' point so that readers have less to criticize on.

Hope this helps :)
anonymous124   
Jan 15, 2012
Writing Feedback / Many Teachers assign homeworks to student everyday. Homework = Progress? [6]

You have lots of spelling mistakes and typos. Go through them with a spell checker ( found in MS Word also).
Your grammar is fine.
I think that the examples that you used have awkward phrasing (especially the first one).
Lastly, your points are not well elaborated. What is the word limit? A decent essay should at least have 5-6 sentences dedicated to a certain point.

Hope this helps :)
anonymous124   
Jan 15, 2012
Undergraduate / 'The workings of the human mind and curiosity' - Macalester Supplement (Why Mac?) [2]

What factors have led you to consider Macalester College? Why do you believe it may be a good match, and what do you believe you can add to the Mac community, academically and personally?

Feel free to draw on past experiences, and use concrete examples to support your perspective. Additional writing samples (e.g., class papers or creative writing) are welcomed as supplements, but are not substitutes for either essay.


I am a curious person. The workings of the human mind, the evolution of mankind, the mechanism of the business sector, soothing properties of music, the information technology advancements; they all fascinate me. I am in constant search for quenching my thirst for knowledge, and I tend to grab any opportunities that may allow me to learn more. So, I have made numerous attempts, both successful and unsuccessful, to get closer to my areas of interests. I have tried my luck with an internship at a banking institution, a job at a multimedia agency, courses in music and inspection of copious research articles, but have yet to completely fulfill my curiosity. I am still in a learning process, and I believe Macalester can help me in my endeavors.

I chose Macalester because I want to acquire more knowledge and share and discuss my learning with like minded individuals. I believe Macalester will be the perfect grooming place to make me a more knowledgeable and rational person. The vibrant and diverse community of Macalester appeals to me. So, I think Macalester is a great place for me to grow.

In addition to acquiring knowledge, I believe I can also contribute my skills and intellect to the community. I am well versed in the areas of computer science. I am an intermediate guitar player and singer. I regularly enjoy and take part in community service programs as well as career oriented internships or jobs. So, I feel that I can contribute these skills as well as build them in the process. I would love to join Macalester's unique internship programs and take part in the club activities. Thus, I believe Macalester is a good match for me.

Do i come out as arrogant or mechanical? is this sincere enough? Please give feedback :)
anonymous124   
Jan 15, 2012
Undergraduate / 'the vast terrains of China' - Colgate (Where would you travel and why?) [4]

If given the opportunity, I would go to the traditional villages of China. The medieval Chinese culture and lifestyle interests me. Their simplistic approach to life as well as the unique and colorful cultural values also appeals to me. I have been limited to experiencing the Chinese way of life only through movies, books and articles, but have never gotten a chance to experience it in real.

I would love to taste their delectable cuisines; immerse myself in the numerous cultural rituals; gain knowledge of the ancient custom of martial arts and learn the secret to peace of mind, body and soul.

I think that my intense desire to delve in the vast terrains of China arises due to my own characteristics. I have always believed in leading a simple lifestyle. My humble personality along with my constant attempt for exploration of my soul has made it easier to relate to the Chinese mores. I believe I will be in a better position to learn the Chinese beliefs by experiencing it closely.

Regardless of the reasons, I believe that experiencing the Chinese way of life will make me a better individual. I am also assured that I can contribute to my community by sharing the valuable information that I will acquire.
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