Undergraduate / MIT essay (my family will never fail to celebrate together) [3]

Describe the world you come from, for example your family, clubs, school, community, city or town. How has the world shaped your dreams and aspirations? (500 words)

It has been quite some time since it remained dormant. Suddenly, it became active when myriads of color lights were set off forming beautiful patterns on it. Everyone was mesmerized by the scenic moment. It must have been a hectic day after all. Everyone rushed home, more travelers arrived at our airport, and vehicles occupied the highways. These scenes indicate that a festival has approached. That's the world that I came from: a place with different races and religions celebrating different festivals, full of attractive and adventurous places to be explored and a food paradise.

Family reunion during festivals is important to people in my country regardless of any race. My family is no exception. During Chinese New Year and other important festivals, my family will never fail to celebrate together. Although Chinese New Year is the most important festival to me, I enjoy Mooncake Festival the most. Not only can I get to eat mooncake, but also get to enjoy the night. Playing lantern on that night brings back my childhood memories. I was once a naïve and innocent child. There were no worries, burdens and problems. It was indeed euphoria.

As I grew up, enjoying the full moon during Mooncake Festival became a pleasure to me. Staring at the bright moon surrounding with shining stars and the breeze blowing at my face, I thought of my future. A barrage of questions appeared in my mind. What will I be in the future? A doctor, a manager or perhaps a janitor? Will my life be as simple as now or will it be full of obstacles? The question about my future has bombarded me for quite some time.

Although generally viewing films and television series is only for entertainment, it has a significant influence on me. I finally had a dream of mine after years of thinking. Watching main characters in the movies and series managing companies, traveling overseas to deal with international trades, staying in front of the computer screen to locate the best price and time to buy company shares and invests thrills me. The dream to establish my company which involves international business comes to my mind.

Realizing how people will react to my dream, I never told anyone about it. But nothing is impossible in the world. My mother used to tell me how difficult it is to raise me and my sister and my father had to work two jobs in order to support the family. My father worked tirelessly throughout years and finally established his own company. His untiring effort, passion and determination to provide my family a better life and both my sister and I a better education had motivated me to work harder towards my dream.

I knew that it is difficult to fulfill my dream, but I believe that as long as I work hard, there is always a possibility for my dream to come true. I will not let my dream to control me, but I will make use the dream of mine to inspire me.

Did I answer the prompt? Do i need to elaborate more on the first part of the prompt? How was it? All comments are welcomed. Thanks in advance.

Undergraduate / JHU essay - why this major [3]

Johns Hopkins offers 50 majors across the schools of
Arts & Sciences and Engineering. On this application, we ask you to identify one or two that you might like to pursue here. Why did you choose the way you did? If

you are undecided, why didn't you choose?

"Dad, can I have more pocket money? I have spent it all last Sunday." "Where did you spend it?" "Hum... Food, presents, clothes, movies, bowling..." "The pocket money that I gave you two weeks ago was your monthly allowance and you spent it all in a day? If you are not going to manage your allowance properly, you are not going to receive any more allowance." Everything in our life ranging from managing our own money to investment banking involves economics. As my goal is to establish a company which involves international trade or at least to be involved in an international trade, choosing economics as my major will provide me sufficient knowledge that is required to be a successful businessman.

Besides that, my interest in Mathematics has also led to pursue my major in economics. I believe that an interest in Mathematics will enhance the learning of economics as both of them are related. In fact, the application of Mathematics to economics forms an essential part of the development of economics literature. For example, the notions of existence, cardinality, stability and optimality of equilibria are formalized by the use of basic conceptual vocabulary of calculus, analysis and point-set and differential topology.

Moreover, the department of Economics in Johns Hopkins University offers a research in economics course for undergraduate program. With this, I will have the opportunity to find an area of research and conduct a research. While learning economic theories are important, having the capability of analyzing issues concerning about real world economics is more important for an economic student. Enrolling in this course enables me to find an issue about the world's economy and thus analyze it.

When talking about economics, Johns Hopkins has a significant economic impact in Maryland. With the extensive number of visitors and patients attracted by the Johns Hopkins University and Johns Hopkins Medicine to Maryland every year, it helps to boost the economic growth in Maryland. It also created thousand of jobs for people. As the first American research university, the discoveries of Johns Hopkins research organizations have benefited the world and more importantly it has an economic impact closer to itself.

Pls comment on my essay. I was just the wandering if I should erase the last paragraph.
Thanks. :)

Undergraduate / Listening to calm, soothing music; MIT short answer/ What I do for pleasure [4]

We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which is required by you. Tell us something that you do for the pleasure of it. (100 words)

Listening to calm, soothing music is something that I enjoy very much. The music will comfort me when I am depress and calm me down when I am angry. The most important thing is that it gives me inspiration. When I experience writer's block, listening to music enables me to put a pen to paper. While listening to music at night, I will recall my day. Recalling things that I have done or encountered throughout the day made me realized the mistakes I have made or my proud moment. I would improve myself to become a better man.

Please check for grammar mistakes. I feel that the last two sentences is a bit weird. Is there any way to rephrase them? Do I need to be give more specific examples?

Undergraduate / My experience ("never a peaceful moment in my house") [3]

There was never a peaceful moment in my house. My mum would be yelling at me to practice piano and rushed me to trainings. One minute, my fingers would be running around the keys. Next minute, my palm would be banging on the keys. I would always find ways to be late for trainings. That was how I expressed my dissatisfaction when I was forced to learn piano and taekwondo at the age of six. I hated piano, taekwondo and even my mum. Sometimes, I would even cry when I was playing the piano.

Listening to sentimental songs magically created a sense of fondness for music. I started to have feelings towards music and would sing along. It was then when I began to spend more time practicing piano. I would go to the piano during my free time, sit down and practice for hours. I could play very well, but my piano teacher said that I couldn't feel the music. "What feeling?" "Don't I have feeling?" I wondered for quite some time.

Since one of my friends introduced me a Korean drama series, I started to follow more. Whenever I watched a melancholic movie, I could feel the pain and suffering. Was that the feeling I was looking for? Then, I started playing the "Funeral March". In my mind was a scene of people attending a funeral, crying bitterly and mourning the lost of their loved ones. The gloomy, sombre scene had captivated me. Indeed, the pain and grief struck my heart as if I had lost my beloved.

The fact that I was forced to learn piano had also given me an opportunity to play duets with my sister. Dueting with my sister ought to be an easy task as we live together and have plenty of time to practice. But every practice turned out to be a disaster. We would end up blaming each other for our fingers clashed, our legs fought for the pedal and the entire song was out of rhythm. I was annoyed. Finally, I suggested that we should discuss on the problems instead of carrying on with the fighting. We reached a compromise deciding that who would play the clashing notes and who would do the pedaling. Besides that, I was initiated to learn her part as well so that we would be synchronized. Having all the problems solved, we performed a great piece during our annual concert. Knowing and capable of suiting other people's part with yours is essential when working as a team.

I used to be a person who is fear of losing. Losing to someone younger than me would make me felt embarrassed. I had participated in a few taekwondo competitions since I joined Taekwondo Club during my high school. I won a medal in my first competition but I lost to a junior. My second competition was worse. I not only did not win, but also lost to a junior. I was dissatisfied and furious. The egotism in me had driven me to revise my technique, correct my mistakes and train more vigorously. This year, I participated in my third competition. Although I lost, I was satisfied. At one moment during my second round, I wanted to give up due to the difficulty in breathing as my opponent accidentally kicked at my neck. When I recalled how spirited and determined other opponents were to continue their round even though they had sprained their ankles and had bruises all over their legs, I told myself that I would also be able to make it to the end and I did make it. I realized that winning or losing is not a matter as long as I was spirited. Not all winners will be awed, but all spirited people will be awed.

Twelve years passed like a lightning bolt. The fondness for music and taekwondo came along miraculously with the passage of time. The hatred towards music and taekwondo had turned into passion. I would eagerly attend trainings by any means and learn new songs on my own. The thought of learning piano and taekwondo would not have crossed my mind if it was not my mum who forced to me learn them when I was young. The future is unpredictable. Things happen, feelings came along magically and certain events change us. This is what we called life. Life would be monotonous if everything remains the same.

All comments are welcomed. Thanks for your time.

Undergraduate / 'Involved in research' - MIT short answer - which department? [5]

Hi all. Need some help to proofread the answer. Thanks very much.

Although you may not yet know what you want to major in, which department of program at MIT appeals to you and why? (100 words)

As one of the leading department in MIT, the Department of Economics offers a wealth of research opportunities for undergraduates. The uniqueness of the department to work closely with many other departments in MIT and to bring technical skills of modern economics into the research program thrive me. I am confident that I would be able to contribute a part in the research program as I am keen in involving in a research. In fact, there are many award achievers and even Nobel Prize winners in the department. It would be my pleasure if I had the opportunity to work with them.

Undergraduate / 'the president of Taekwondo Club' - common app short answer - extracurricular [3]

Although initiative may cause troubles, it is worthwhile. When I was elected as the president of Taekwondo Club, I was initiated to organize a field trip. At first, I thought that it would be an easy task as long as I followed the protocol. Nevertheless, I was wrong. Many problems arose - insufficient fund due to lack of participants and rushed deadlines. It was difficult for me to promote and persuade students to participate the trip as I was not a persuasive person. I learned some persuading skills from my friends and would even practised on my own when i was bathing. After weeks of running around the school convincing everyone, I finally had enough partipants. Due to rushed deadline, I spent more time after school to get the miscellaneous things done. I was glad that the trip was successful. Moreover, I gained experience through it.

Please help check if there is any grammar mistakes. All comments are welcomed.
Thanks.

Undergraduate / 'No peaceful moments in my house' - Common app - my experience, risk, or achievement [4]

I would like to know if i have answered the personal essay correctly or if the essay is too boring and plain. Please help to check if there is any grammar mistakes. Thanks.

Essay: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its importance on you.
There was never a peaceful moment in my house. My mum would be yelling at me to practice piano and rushed me to trainings. One minute, my fingers would be running around the keys, Next minute, my palm would be banging on the keys. I would always find ways to be late for trainings. That was how I expressed my dissatisfaction when I was forced to learn piano and taekwondo at the age of six. I hated piano, taekwondo and even my mum. Sometimes, I would even cry when I was playing the piano.

Listening to sentimental songs magically created a sense of fondness for music. I started to have feelings towards music and would sing along. It was then when i began to spend more time practicing piano. I would go to the piano during my free time, sit down and practice for hours. I could play very well, but my piano teacher said that i couldn't feel the music. "What feeling?" "Don't I have feeling?" I wondered for quite some time.

Since one of my friends introduced me a Korean drama series, I started to follow more. Whenever I watched a melancholic movie, I could feel the pain and suffering. Was that the feeling I was looking for? Then, I started playing the "Funeral March". In my mind was a scene of people attending a funeral, crying bitterly and mourning the lost of their loved ones. The gloomy, sombre scene had captivated me. Indeed, the pain and grief struck my heart as if I had lost my beloved.

The fact that I was forced to learn piano had given me an opportunity to play duets with my sister. Dueting with my sister ought to be an easy task as we live together and have plenty of time to practice. But every practice turned out to be a disaster. We would end up blaming each other for our fingers clashed, our legs fought for the pedal and the entire song was out of rhythm. I was annoyed. Finally, I suggested that we should discussed on the problems instead of carrying on with the fightings. We reached a compromise deciding that who would play the clashing notes and who would do the pedaling. Besides that, I was initiated to learn her part as well so that we would be synchronized. Having all the problems solved, we performed a great piece during our annual concert. Knowing and capable of suiting other people's part with yours is essential when working as a team.

I used to be a person who is fear of losing. Losing to someone younger than me would made me felt embarrassed. I had participated in a few taekwondo competitions since I joined Taekwondo Club during my high school. I won a medal in my first competition but I lost to a junior. My second competition was worse. I not only did not win, but also lost to a junior. I was dissatisfied and furious. The egotism in me had driven me to revise my technique, correct my mistakes and train more vigorously. This year, I participated in my third competition. Although I lost, I was satisfied. At one moment during my second round, I wanted to give up due to the difficulty in breathing as my opponent accidentally kicked at my neck. When I recalled how spirited and determined other opponents were to continue their round even though they had sprained their ankles and had bruises all over their legs, I told myself that I would also be able to make it to the end and I did make it. I realized that winning or losing is not a matter as long as I was spirited. Not all winners will be awed, but all spirited people will be awed.

Twelve years passed like a lightning bolt. The fondness for music and taekwondo came along miraculously with the passage of time. The hatred towards music and taekwondo had turned into passion. I would eagerly attend trainings by any means and learn new songs on my own. The thought of learning piano and taekwondo would not have crossed my mind if it was not my mum who forced to me learn them when I was young.The future is unpredictable. Things happen, feelings came along magically and certain events change us. This is what we called life. Life would be monotonous if everything remains the same.

Undergraduate / Additional Information for Common Application (Malaysia and USA education) [6]

Hi, i'm an international student who is applying to US universities as undergraduate this year. My country's education system is different from US education system. I would like to explain it in the additional information. Is the explanation below appropriate?

"Malaysia's education from primary school to secondary school is 11 years. America's education from primary school to secondary school is 12 years. I understand that in order to be enrolled in most of the prestige universities in US requires 12 years of education. For me to enter to the prestige universities, I am currently studying American Degree Transfer Program in INTI INTERNATIONAL UNIVERSITY COLLEGE which enables me to have 12 years of education."

Please let me know if there is any mistakes or i need to add more information about my country's education system.

Thanks in advance.