Unanswered [10] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by ashwin17
Joined: Dec 25, 2008
Last Post: Jan 2, 2009
Threads: 5
Posts: 14  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 19
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
ashwin17   
Jan 2, 2009
Student Talk / Application Question January [127]

mdg921, i don't think you have to worry about it...
here's what commonapp says:
"All application deadlines are as of 11:59pm ET on the stated deadline day. The Common Application records all dates (deadlines, form submission dates, payment dates) in Eastern Time. Schools not located in the eastern time zone may choose to extend their application deadlines to the end of a deadline day in their local time zone, or may accept your documents up until the posted deadline in their local time zone (even though your submission time stamp will be recorded in Eastern Time.) For example, a school located in California may accept your application until 2:59am Eastern Time, which is equivalent to 11:59pm Pacific Time. Since this is on a school-by-school basis and this is not information that may not be available to you, we recommend you submit based on the Eastern Time deadline. Most colleges will accept the submission if it is within a reasonable time period around their deadline."
ashwin17   
Jan 2, 2009
Undergraduate / Which "Why Tufts?" essay is better? [7]

OK, thank you...
Really? I had a tougher time with the "Let your life speak" essay... I actually put all my tufts supplement essays on a different thread if you want to take a look...
ashwin17   
Jan 1, 2009
Undergraduate / Which "Why Tufts?" essay is better? [7]

Tufts is not only an excellent university for pursuing my major in biomedical sciences, but its well-rounded undergraduate program will also allow me to explore my other interests in law, computer engineering, and math. During a campus tour this summer, I was fascinated by not only the beauty of the university’s diverse grounds, but also by the student tour guides’ unique experiences studying in a Tufts program abroad. I believe Tufts’ various activities can open many doors for my future.

Would this sound better if I replaced the last sentece with "Tufts is THE university for me."?

OR

Tufts is not only an excellent university for pursuing my major in biomedical sciences, but its well-rounded undergraduate program will also allow me to explore my other interests in law, computer engineering, and math. Furthermore, my nomadic lifestyle inspired my fascination with other countries around the world. As I listened to student tour guides’ unique experiences studying in a Tufts program abroad, I realized I wanted to do to the same in Japan. Tufts is THE university for me.
ashwin17   
Jan 1, 2009
Undergraduate / Why Boston University? - One look at the Boston University website had answered all my prayers [4]

At the start of the year, I was still unsure about which college I really wanted to attend. Through my travels between three different countries, I came to learn the importance of diversity and the need for varying opinions. Of course, this soon became one major factor in my decision. I wanted to attend a college that emphasized the significance of diversity. Another factor involved my various interests. Although I plan to major on a subject under pre-medicine, I also have interest in political science, computer engineering, and math. Furthermore, my nomadic lifestyle incited my fascination of other countries around the world. I would love to attend a college that would allow me to participate in a strong program abroad.

One look at the Boston University web site had answered all my prayers. The university virtually defines "diversity" with its incorporation of all types of students, and the liberal values of the Howard Thurman Center. Also, BU is not only an excellent university for pursuing my major in biomedical sciences, but its well-rounded undergraduate program will also allow me to explore my other interests in law, computer engineering, and math. This cause was further strengthened when I read about the many opportunities available in pursuing a dual degree! Finally, my face lit up with joy as I read the following statements from the website: "Want to study abroad? Pursue an internship program? CAS has programs in 19 countries on 6 continents." 19 countries! It was decided. Boston University was THE university for me!
ashwin17   
Jan 1, 2009
Undergraduate / Tufts Supplements -- curriculum, saying, expressioin [8]

I sorta rushed through this so I'm not sure about this one either. But let me know which one you think is better. Thanks.

There is a Quaker saying: ''Let your life speak.'' Describe the environment in which you were raised--your family, home, neighborhood or community--and how it influenced the person you are today.

Throughout my life, my family has continuously moved from country to country, state to state, and city to city. Within my short sixteen-year life, I have already lived in three different countries and eight different cities. Many people would enjoy traveling the world like this. I hated it! These sudden relocations created a barrier between me and the term “close friends.” Because of my timidity, it would often take me weeks or even months before I started making friends. However, before I could become “close” to them, my family would transfer to another town. All that effort to develop a relationship, suddenly gone to waste. Fortunately, these experiences overall had a positive effect on my character. I came to treasure my friendships and memories with others, and my will to make good friends slowly overcome my shyness. I began approaching others and making friends much more quickly. Instead of waiting for the relationship to gradually develop, I learned to take the initiative. I help strengthen our bonds by calling up my friends to eat lunch together, go bowling, party, or study in a group. I have learned to overcome the barrier between us, and I currently have many close friends not only here in North Carolina, but even in my previous home of Massachusetts. I still stay in contact with them through facebook and even visit them often, as I did this previous summer.
ashwin17   
Jan 1, 2009
Undergraduate / Common app: S'mores in Andover [5]

"she was writing her paper"

"Paola, we are going to have s'mores."

"Trusting whatever plan I had would work" might sound better with just "Simply trusting my plan,"

And instead of "Grinning at me," you should just say "Grinning"

"and I was ready to conquer my next challenge"

I think it sounds better without the last sentence, but that might just be my preference. I don't think it'll make that much of a difference.
ashwin17   
Jan 1, 2009
Undergraduate / Short Response Essays (Dancehall) [6]

This sentence is actually a bit confusing, and it's also a run-off. It might sound better if you just say:
"Therefore, it can be seen that as Vybz Kartel's songs continue to condition the minds of the public to accept and partake in violence, they eventually begin to do so."

And this sentence doesnt make sense to me. You should split it into two. I also made a few edits to it too.
"Though freedom of speech is encouraged, we must still take into consideration the effect our words have on others. With enough repetition, we can condition the minds of others to accept or believe a particular ideal."

"I believe that if this situation is not rectified and is allowed to worsen, it will result in a continued increase in violence and corruption in the society."

Everything else sounds good. Great job! It actually seems like a difficult topic, but you wrote a great essay on it! Good Luck on getting accepted!
ashwin17   
Jan 1, 2009
Undergraduate / Tufts Supplements -- curriculum, saying, expressioin [8]

Oh OK, yeah your revisions do make it sound better. Thanks!

When I said "come to the rescue," I was using it from the perspective that they were next to me. Because that's what I was thinking as I saw them when I visited India and when I visited the Boys and Girls Home.

I still feel a bit uncertain about my second one, so I might rewrite that.

Yeah, sure. I can take a look at your essay.
ashwin17   
Dec 31, 2008
Student Talk / Application Question January [127]

i'm pretty sure... but i also heard from a friend that it depends on the college...
well, i looked it up... and this link says so too: talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-admissions/440847-january-1st-deadline.html
ashwin17   
Dec 31, 2008
Undergraduate / Tufts Supplements -- curriculum, saying, expressioin [8]

Which aspects of Tufts' curriculum or undergraduate experience prompt your application? In short: ''Why Tufts?''

I have yet to decide which career I want to follow, but I believe Tufts' well-rounded undergraduate program will help me prepare for whatever career I later choose, whether it involves medicine, law, or computer engineering. During a campus tour this summer, I not only admired the cheerful atmosphere between the student tour guides, but I was also fascinated by the their unique experiences studying in a Tufts program abroad. I knew Tufts was the choice for me.

There is a Quaker saying: ''Let your life speak.'' Describe the environment in which you were raised--your family, home, neighborhood or community--and how it influenced the person you are today.

During my middle school years, I had lived in Lord Baron Apartments in Burlington, MA. Initially, my friends and I always played basketball and tennis on the courts outside. However, I eventually began to feel that we should add more to the mix. An idea hit me! I grabbed four rubber balls from my house, called up my friends to the tennis court and told them, "Let's play dodgeball!" I made up some additional rules to make it more compatible with the tennis court, and we immediately started playing. It was thrilling! Constantly watching out for enemy attack while at the same time searching for an opportunity to grab a ball. It was fun! Within the next few weeks, about twenty other children from the neighborhood had joined in on the game and had become our new friends. A few months later, another idea popped into my head and I started a new trend of capture the flag. Slowly, others began to speak up their own ideas for new games. By the end of the year, I found myself leading the crowd through a diverse range of activities: tennis, basketball, dodgeball, capture the flag, cops and robbers, "the rock game," building tag, etc. This community had an immense influence on me. It not only showed me the joy of various recreational sports, but it also enabled me to take the initiative and gave me my first opportunity at leadership.

Self-identity and personal expression take many forms. Use the richness of your life to give us insight: Who are you?

When I was around ten years old, I wished to be like Superman, saving the world and coming to the aid of those in need. In India, I encountered many poor people begging for money outside the temple entrance. In the United States, I visited the Boys and Girls Home and met orphans who had lost the place they once called "home." Seeing all these unfortunate people, I felt like I needed to help them in some way. I wanted to be the hero that would come to their rescue. But what could a person like me do for them? I can't make much of a difference, can I? I'm sure this same thought has crossed the minds of many others before me. However, I realized that I could make a difference. To them, even a little could mean a lot. When I visited India this summer, I handed ten rupees to an elderly couple sitting outside the temple, and saw their faces light up with joy. As a Key Club member, I gave a winter coat to the Boys and Girls Home and saw them gratefully accept our donations. I also ran alongside many others in the Autism Run to show support for the disadvantaged children with autism, and I participated in Relay for Life to gain support in helping cancer patients. No, I may not be a superhero with the power to save the world, but I am a proud volunteer with the power to make a difference.
ashwin17   
Dec 31, 2008
Student Talk / Which Essay Should I Use For My Harvard Supplement? [3]

well, i like your grandfather essay, but i think they want to know more about YOU instead...
and both of the others are really good, but i think the "New Experience" flows a little smoother.
I really like the way you connected it to the college itself in "I am a Physics Anomaly." So it might be better if you add something similar to those statements: "I want to pursue my own interest, Biology, in a place where I know new ideas are created, where people are constantly breaking down old notions of science, and where even the anomalies are accepted. A place like MIT" into the "New Experience" essay... of course, you should change "MIT" to "Harvard" here...
ashwin17   
Dec 30, 2008
Undergraduate / Common App Essay - My Bus Experience [3]

I think you went too much into the details over this achievement... You should cut down on a lot of these details, and elaborate more about how it impacted you.

I know you're trying to stress that you put a lot of effort into this, but I don't think the admissions readers are going to care about such specifics, like "It felt like I had visited every garage sale and pawn shop within the tri-county area."

I see that it taught you that you're going to have to do things yourself, but I don't think two or three sentences on that is going to cut it. Maybe give an example about how you illustrated that characteristic recently, or talk about other ways that it impacted you.

Sorry for the harsh comments, but I feel that you dragged the essay out too much on the details.
ashwin17   
Dec 30, 2008
Undergraduate / I'M A THUG-Common App Essay-My FIRST draft. [40]

I agree with n00bl3t...
The essay does seem a bit long with 925 words, but I felt like I had to finish it... I don't think you have to worry about it...

In the first sentence though, it might sound better if you delete the second "once". But still, it's really good. I like the way you incorporated humor and rehorical questions into the essay.

Personally, I think it fits great with the prompt "Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you."
ashwin17   
Dec 30, 2008
Undergraduate / "How would you feel if you were in his shoes?"; U Tufts: "Let your life speak" [6]

There is a Quaker saying: ''Let your life speak.'' Describe the environment in which you were raised--your family, home, neighborhood or community--and how it influenced the person you are today.

In my case, there are not one, but many communities that helped make me the person I am today. However, there are a few memorable experiences that had the strongest influence on me. One of these experiences occurred when I was in the third grade in the town of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. A neighborhood bully was chasing me around the apartments. Just then, my friend stepped in front of him and told him to stop. He said, "How would you feel if you were in his shoes?" Seeing that my friend's mom was watching through a nearby window, the bully decided to leave. I was amazed, and at the same time I felt a surge of gratitude flow through me. I believe that statement left a permanent mark in my character. Ever since, I have often found myself asking that question in many situations, and it can be seen through my benevolence towards my friends. I always try to help my friends whenever I can, whether it involves borrowing lunch money or giving a ride home after-school. Why? Because I know I would want their help if I were in the same situation.
ashwin17   
Dec 26, 2008
Undergraduate / CommonApp Essay: "I am.... born in India" [3]

I wasn't sure if colleges would like an essay describing various experiences instead of simply expanding on one single event. But living through these various situations was the only factor I could think of that would make me "unique" from other applicants.

Anyway, thank you very much for your input. I really appreciate your help.
ashwin17   
Dec 25, 2008
Undergraduate / CommonApp Essay: "I am.... born in India" [3]

Who am I? There is no easy way to respond to this question. It cannot simply be answered with a description of my personality or a list of my accomplishments. A person is much more than that. "I" am the result of all the experiences I have undertaken in life and of all the lessons I have learned from these experiences.

Born in south India in 1992, I began my life in a poor, pre-industrial society. As a little child, I simply spent my time doing anything I found to be fun. I would go up the stairs leading to the roof, jump over the wall to the next-door building, and run all the way back just to do it again. At theaters, I would attune to the crowd's excitement in screaming and whistling when the hero and heroine made their appearance. During the festival of Diwali, I would happily run around with other kids and play with the firecrackers that lined the streets. I learned to love even all these little things in life, and the town of Chennai gradually became my one and only home.

Twelve years ago, my dad got a job in Dubai and my family relocated to the United Arab Emirates. At first, my mind was shrouded with uncertainty. Why did we have to move? Why should I have to leave the place I loved? As I stepped out of the airport in Dubai, I felt as if I was entering a whole new world. The people here were of a different religion, and were all speaking an unknown language. After gaining a basic understanding of English and Arabic through private lessons, I joined Saint Mary's Elementary School and began to gradually adapt to the community. I eventually learned to grasp the cultural differences, and life in Dubai became a norm for me. However, just as I had begun to find my place in society, another life-changing event occurred.

When I was eight years old, my dad's new job in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania brought my family to the United States. Once again, I was enraged at the notion of being forced into another world! I had just finally adapted to the customs of Dubai, and now I had to throw all that away and start over again? I expected this transition to be as tedious and as drawn out as the previous one. However, I was completely wrong. The nation seemed to welcome me with open arms, and I soon fell in love with the country's incorporation of diversity. As my family continued moving between numerous cities across Pennsylvania, Massachusetts, and North Carolina, I explored the many different activities and opportunities available here in this country. In Burlington, I discovered my love for tennis as I played for the Rahanis Park Tennis Team and helped them reach the Regional Championships. In Chelmsford High School, I learned the importance of teamwork as I worked with the Asian Culture Committee in hosting a video game tournament, badminton tournament, and a talent show to raise money for orphanages. Then here in Cary, I gained leadership qualities from organizing Key Club projects and leading volunteers through various events.

All of my life experiences have helped make me the person I am today. Adapting to different societies has enabled me to grasp these cultural differences, and improved my ability to work with others. Now, once again, who am I? I am the little child who wholeheartedly resisted leaving his home country of India. I am also the high school student who has fallen in love with American values. I am [my name].
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳