Writing Feedback / My visit to a beautiful place (Hyderabad in India) [8]

This is my essay for my school article. I'll be highly obliged if anyone helps.

The busy city life often abandon's one from the nature's inevitable beauty. Eventhough me & my family do not get quality of time to spend with each other but we enjoy each and every minute we get to it's fullest.

Once I visited Hyderabad in India with my parents and grandparents. Later my cousins joined us there. I cherish those memories and time spent with my family till date. I visited and saw many beautiful places. I visited a lake known as 'Husain Sagar'. It was such a beauty with a statue of ' Gautam Buddha' built in the midst which enhanced it's beauty. The city is decorated with trees and greeneries which adds to it's freshness and makes the climate very easily adaptable. The food is also very different in the city and also the nature of people which is very humble and sweet. I visited a garden called 'Lubini Park' which had been really adventurous not only for me but also for all those people who were with me. It was indeed a memorable visit. I visited it with my uncle and cousins. It was an unplanned visit which saved our lives. We weren't to visit the park but the lazer show instead, but changed our minds because my uncle insisted. It was only then we came to know about the blast fiasco, which had occured the exact moment when we changed our minds to Lubini Park at the eleventh hour, when we returned back home on a news channel. Ofcourse it was a stroke of luck which saved our lives.

One more adventure which I had in the same town when I guided my grandpa home. Actually it was a fine morning in Hyderabad, me and my grandfather started for a walk since my grandfather loves to have walks. It was a indeed a wonderful walk with him as he told me his old stories and experiences. We enjoyed the cold breeze and the misty air. But soon in our amusement we lost our way and got confused. The town was new for both of us and we didn't knew where to go or which way to take. But since I've been quite observing, I knew some landmarks to our house. And so I guided him the way and soon we were enjoying breakfast with my family and sharing our adventurous walk.

We also visited India's most famous filmcity known as 'Ramoji Filmcity'. The visit had been my time of life which I spent with my cousins and family. We had many rides, learned how things work at bollywood and other things too. They also demonstrated how they bombard a building in films and how they create false houses and villages for shootings. They were having all a virtual world made up in their area which we toured through a bus. We visited a magic cum ghost house which was really hilarious and scary as well. They have very well built 3D and featured rides too, from which one is 'Ramoji Tower'. One feels as if the whole filmcity is being attacked by some terrorists or something when you ride it's elevator which is really outstandingly featured 3D view with the whole city being perished in front of your eyes but soon your eyes decieve you when you come out of the tower, as everything's fine as normal. The tower was the best part of my whole visit to the film city.

I always cherish my visit to Hyderabad and wish to visit once again in my life time.

This is my write which I've got to submit in tommorow's class. I need an urgent help. Any help will be appreciable. Thanking yoy in anticipation!

Writing Feedback / My School Days (school article) [5]

MY SCHOOL DAYS

Everyone's school days have the memories they can cherish and treasure for life. School days are the most joyful and funfilled with many mysteries to solve and many fights to resolve.

In my school days, I had many friends and some foes. We used to gossip and play and some times fight over silly things. I had two best friends. They were very nice and loyal to me. Every teacher in my school liked us, although we weren't brilliant students in fact were average ones but still we respected our elders and loved our youngers. Since my childhood, I've never been complaining to anyone for anything, actually I never needed to since I had everything I needed or wanted.I miss my school days since it was all about having fun and no competetions. The most exciting part used to be 'the exchange of lunch boxes'. Usually me and my best friend liked each other's lunch and soon developed a habit of exchanging lunches. Apart from sharing lunches, we also used to share our silly secrets.

We used to play our own created games and draw for fun. We also used to have bets and treats for rewards on childish things but we never played pranks on anyone. My childhood was indeed really amazing and simple. We found fun in subtle but beautiful things. It was surely surrealistic but was also hilarious at times. In my school days, we sometimes used to play in the rains, make paper boats, eat ice-creams and enjoy every drop of water and after getting all bathed up in water we used to have hot chocolate drinks.

These were some of the stuff of my school and childhood, as I remember them, which I cherish today as sweet memories. I wish God makes everyone's childhood days as carefree and jovial as mine.

Please help me out with this essay. This is my article for school.Thanking you in anticipation!

Undergraduate / 'Having a dream of becoming a doctor' - essay I want to become a... [NEW]

I want to become a doctor. Being one is not only my dream but also my parent's. I don't wish to be the wealthiest and most highly graduated doctor the world's ever seen but I want to be one who will serve her people and country in a true manner. Infact I don't want to be a doctor for only patients but for the needy too. Although I know it isn't everyone's cup of tea to be faithful, humane and achieve great degrees at the same time but it is worth a try. I always want to feel the pride of being loyal to my patients and my duty.

Well it's not always the same story from the beginning infact it was totally different. When I was a little girl, I didn't actually wanted to be a doctor and never was worried about it. All I used to think was being a singer. Ofcourse that was a dream for me which I wished to come true. It included of me always singing silly songs and even recording and playing them back. But soon circumstances changed, I grew up and came to know my real destiny. Although I showed interest in studies from the beginning but singing was something which I used to do everytime, whether I be studying or playing. Many may call it as craziness but this was me as a kid. But as I mentioned earlier, I grew up to know where I belong and concentrated on it.

For now, for real I have a different dream and that is I want to become a doctor.

PS:I'm new here. Please correct my mistakes wether they be grammartical or vocalbilary.Thanking you in anticipation.