Undergraduate / 'No Short cuts'- apply Texas topic B; downfall of Lance Armstrong [4]

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR COMMENTS! I really appreciate it!
and PLEASE be as harsh as you can. This is my first draft.

For the last few months, the downfall of Lance Armstrong has been a international issue. Although Armstrong denied charges for doping, over 300 pages of evidence said otherwise. CNN documented Lance Armstrong's downfall and featured it in on air documentary, The World According to Lance Armstrong, which portrayed him as a world-famous athlete who once shone as bright as the north star, but fell from the grace as a cheater.

Seven times Le Tour de France champion, Lance Armstrong was an idol to many people: wannabe cyclists, professional cyclists, and even cancer patients. He was known not only for his jaw-dropping record but also for his struggle to fight against cancer. He gave many hopes and dreams to those people around him; therefore, the fall of this legendary cyclist was very tragic and disappointing.

This event caused me to wonder what ultimately caused his downfall. To bring a glory to himself, his country, and his family, he faced his physical limit to push forward; in addition, he had a third stage of cancer early in his athletic career that left him with no strength due to various surgeries and chemical therapies. Why would he jeopardize all that he had achieved? Perhaps fear that he would disappoint his fans through his poor performance permeated his thinking. Instead of continuing with his razor-sharp determination and focus, Armstrong concentrated on the title only and reached for unfair assistance in his quest for glory. To my eyes, he was afraid of the slow improvement of his performance after recovering from cancer, so his frustration with his ability and desperation to bring himself another championship trophy produced a cheater, a liar, and a selfish coward.

Though not a championship cyclist, nor a cancer survivor, I relate to Armstrong's choices. I also faced the temptation to take a short cut in various situations. While testing, I wanted to get unfair advantage to achieve a high score, while exercising, I wanted to run fewer laps than I was supposed to to achieve my goal more quickly, and even while reading a book, I wanted to skip to the last chapter to achieve instant satisfaction. Temptation knocked on my door numerous times, but every time I resisted it. I wish to become an independent person who knows how to get over the challenges of life with hard work and determination.

This issue is significant to me and even to my generation because this age of 'instant gratification' leads many of us most of us to find a way to go over obstacles, instead of through them. Lance Armstrong's downfall serves as a warning for us all to decide how we want to face life challenges. As for me, I choose to work hard and take no short cuts.

Undergraduate / 'Hercules' NYU supplement: what intrigues you? [2]

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topic: What intrigues you? Tell us about one work of art, scientific achievement, piece of literature, method of communication, or place in the world (a film, book, performance, website, event, location, etc.), and explain its significance to you. limited to 1500 characters

When I was young, I loved a Disney movie called "Hercules." As a Greek mythology maniac, I made this movie the all time favorite. Disney modified the story a bit, but who cares? The hero's adventures were more important to me than any other things in the story. Other than Hercules, the main character, the real factor that made this movie my favorite is the song called "Go the Distance." When Hercules gets criticized for being too strong to be useful in the society, he determines to go far away to find a place where he belongs. My favorite section from the song is "I am on my way/I can go to distance/I don't care how far". This line reminds me of my situation right now: finding a college where I belong to.

Unlike Hercules, who did not know where he could go, I know where I want to go: New York. NYC, from Texas, is very far away, but my dreams are there: walking on the Broadway, meeting various kinds of people and cultures and studying in such environment. Two hours in an airplane? No big deal. I can still go to the distance to fulfill my dream.

Undergraduate / 'Heaven knows where I should stand' - important person common app main essay [5]

Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.

Six years ago, my parents held a sudden family meeting. We did not have family meetings often, so my brother and I were half-frightened and half-curious. Looking into our eyes, my father told us that we were going to move to the U.S. and asked my personal opinion. Being youthfully optimistic, I did not object since I assumed that everything will turn out great in the number one country in the world.

My expectation was quickly proven wrong by the time of my junior year. I was regretting my choice. My grades did not meet my standards, the relationship with my parents was getting worse as a result, and personal disappointments brought me down. I began to feel self-conscious and alone. Every passing period was filled with worries, and every lunch period was torture. When I asked myself the cause of this, everything came down to the one choice that I made--moving to the U.S. If I did not agree to move enthusiastically, this might never have happened. Everything felt like a mess because I felt challenged by my inability to successfully perform academically. If I did not meet Ms. Nom-Nom, I probably would have continued on blaming my decidsion.

Bold glasses, thin lips, and short hair, Ms Nommensen (Ms. Nom-Nom is a nickname for her at school) looks like many other English teachers that I have met, but she is unusual. She is capable of using not only slang such as "Let's jiggy with it," but also five-star SAT vocabulary fluently. She uses the phrase (which means let's dance)particularly when she gives out tests, hoping the students will get through the test smoothly. Her capability to know a wide range of words and phrases surprised me.

One day, Ms. Nom-Nom got sidetracked while she was discussing The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and told us about her dream when she was a child: to become a chef. After years of preparation, she applied to a cooking school in Paris, France. An acceptance letter was delivered to her excited hands a few months later, and she was one step closer to her dream.

After a conversation with her parents, however, she decided not to go. She chose instead to go into teaching. The amazing thing that I noticed while she was telling this story was that I could not find any moment of regrets in her tone or expression. She rather smiled at the moment of determination to become a teacher instead. The old dream was another motivation to move on to another dream.

I was shocked. She was not discouraged but she considered her new choice as another adventurous opportunity. What was I doing? Moving to the states was a life changing opportunity that wasn't offered to many people, and I only blamed my decision instead of trying to make it worthwhile in the end.

She showed a great deal of courage and optimism when it comes to choosing a path. Once the choice has been made, there is no going back. No matter the consequence, I just have to make the best out of the situation. The past is past, it is nothing more than the foundation of where I will stand in the future. The regrets might stumble me once in a while, but life is a one-way road. Heaven only knows where I should stand, and I guess until then, let's jiggy with it!

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL OF YOUR HELP!

Undergraduate / 'magnificent grandeur of music' - Short essay from Common app. [8]

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).

There are three basic rules in orchestra: set your bow, look at the conductor, and count. My right hand draws the bow with an appropriate strength as the music starts, and my left hand positions the fingers on the right place of the fingerboard. With a small swing of the conductor's baton, we become deadly quiet. We wait for his next move: sforzando. With all our strength, we make the loudest dynamic that the audience will hear. When the sound echoes as the conductor smiles, the vibration from both of my hands electrocutes my heart momentarily. That is when I feel a chill down my spine; this is the real power of the music. I do not play in orchestra to show off what my skills. I play for the magnificent grandeur that music provides. I do not play only to listen to the applause that the audience replies to our performance, but I play because I am more than happy to be part of this orchestra, feeling the power of the music together at this moment.

This is the first time for me to post an essay..
ah! I am very nervous D:

Thank you so much for your help!