Undergraduate / 'Hospital hallways' - supplement- Academic goals [3]

Hi, i really need help revising this essay. Please let me know what you think!

Nursing and Hospital

A. NYU's global network provides students with hundreds of academic areas of interest for students to cultivate their intellectual curiosity and to help achieve their career goals. Whether you are entirely undecided about your academic plans or you have a definitive program of study in mind, what are your own academic interests? Feel free to share any thoughts on any particular programs or how you might explore those interests at NYU on any of our campuses.

As I walk through the hallways of a hospital, I feel the certainty that one day I want to work in one. Thinking about all the babies that are born sick everyday gives me the need to do something to help them go home healthy. Every person comes to the world with a purpose and deserves to live their life. I find that as a Neonatal Nurse Practitioner, I will be able to fulfill this desire of giving newborns the chance to live. It is a career that gives me the chance to change people's lives on a daily basis. I am interested in finding opportunities that allow me to develop a career built not only from scientific knowledge, but spiritual values as well. In the city of New York, I can find a variety of places to gain career experience, resources that will help me academically as well as personally, and find plenty volunteering options. Doing these things will help me become the kind of person that I want to be and eventually become a good nurse. Becoming an outstanding Neonatal Nurse Practitioner is my biggest and most important goal in life; therefore I hope to attend a distinguished nursing school such as the NYU College of Nursing.

Undergraduate / 'Drill team try-out' - EXTRACURRICULAR essay [3]

Any critique and advice is welcomed. Please tell me if this is good or not. Thank you very much for your time!
Prompt: Expand on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences.

Trying out for drill team was one of the best decisions I made in High School. It shaped me into a more confident, responsible and committed person. Performing in front of an audience allowed me to Iose the fear of being in the spotlight and learn how to smile no matter what happened. Drill team taught me that in order to succeed at things you like, you are responsible for the work. As a member of this organization, I found that I was responsible for the effort put in practice, being well prepared all the time and contributing positively to our team. I found myself spending a great amount of time with my team, which helped me experience the feeling of being committed to something and dedicating myself to it. These are things that I will carry with me my entire life and that are essential in order to enjoy and be great at anything you chose to do. I love Drill Team and thanks to being a part of it I was able to live unforgettable experiences with my teammates.

Undergraduate / Common App Essay- A Fictional Character (Hazel Lancaster) [2]

This is my response for the following essay prompt:
Describe a character in fiction, a historical figure, or a creative work (as in art, music, influence on you, and explain that influence.

Please help me edit it or give me any advice to make it better. That would be so much help! (My deadline is November and i am applying to NYU) Thank you.

Many times in life I found myself complaining or thinking that others had a much better life than I did. For a long time, I believed that happiness in life was associated luck. Thinking that only some lucky humans came to this world to enjoy it and the rest came to suffer. I was blind with the idea that my dreams would always be just dreams because I was simply not born with any luck. The book The Fault in Our Stars by John Green helped me get rid of this unwise idea.

This book tells the story of Hazel Lancaster, a sixteen-year old who is a victim of cancer. She is not brave, courageous or has a positive perspective of life. On the opposite, Hazel lives in a severe depression and it is clearly shown that her disease has consumed the majority of her happiness. In fact, her story does not have a happy ending; on the contrary, it leaves you filled with sadness. This allowed me to see what it's like to live with an incurable disease and from a point of view of someone who is dying. Personally, I found so much of myself in Hazel to the point where I knew exactly what she was feeling, allowing me to understand her thoughts of desperation almost perfectly.

The moment I closed the book, I realized something I had never thought of before. I discovered that I am one of the lucky ones. I am lucky simply for being alive. I found that unlike Hazel, I am being given the chance to live my life. So I asked myself, why do I sometimes feel like I am incapable of doing certain things? What stops me from dreaming and going after what I want? Truth is, only my mind can stop me from doing these things I desire, but nothing else. I am not sick like Hazel, which means I am able to get up every morning and do anything I want. I don't have major issues in my life that are holding me back from living. Therefore, I told myself that I would not stop living, and I would overcome the negative thoughts that kept coming to me as obstacles. For people like me, a tomorrow is not guaranteed, but chances are that they will keep coming. On the other side, for people like Hazel, the "tomorrows" they get come to an end at an early age. There are so many young people dying every day and as they die, their dreams die with them. This book reminded me how lucky I am to not be one of them and that my dreams are achivable. Hazel inspired me to go after what I want and not miss the chances that life is offering me.

Thanks to this character that changed my perception and view of life, I feel more powerful and eager to chase my dreams than I ever did before.