Undergraduate / UChicago Essay - 'Following my ACT test in the spring of 2012' [2]

How does the University of Chicago, as you know it now, satisfy your desire for a particular kind of learning, community, and future? Please address with some specificity your own wishes and how they relate to UChicago?

Following my ACT test in the spring of 2012, college information and letters began to flood in. The first noteworthy was an large poster from UChicago sent to me sometime in June. So when an e-mail was sent to me about an information meeting in St. Paul, I decided to get my parents off my back about "looking at colleges" and spend my Wednesday night downtown. Thank God I did, the entire speech was astounding. I still can't forget the 6'2" James Nondorf. He wore glasses, and spent the better part of the hour sweating like a dog. Frankly I think he was more than aware of that fact. Through the whole thing he had me laughing, but more importantly amazed at what an awesome college the University of Chicago was. I was unaware of how devoted the students were to not just going to college, but actually learning. After the information and tour it seems like there is one common trait amongst the students at UChicago; they want to understand. To me that is huge, because from a young age I've always wanted to know what makes things tick, how things move, what drives people to make decisions. Another impressive characteristic of UChicago was the record it had for getting graduates jobs and then preparing them to succeed at those jobs. A former student, now employed by Target Corp., was there to attest to how easy finding a job after college was thanks in part to UChicago.

My major goals in college are to have a memorable experience, and then find a job that I will enjoy doing. I think if I focus on those two aspects, college will be a blast. I love how every student forgoes their ego to participate in the ridiculous traditions and clubs, such as Scav Hunt and the Zombie Readiness Task Force (I'm ready to join just hearing about them). The UChicago seems to be the best college regarding my personal goals. The campus is beautiful and its students are driven, which I value. When surrounded by success, it is hard for anyone to fail.

Undergraduate / '58 men who look just like Waldo' - UChicago Essay #2 [7]

First, thank you to anyone who takes the time to read critique this essay, this school truly is my biggest goal right now.

I'm really a math guy, and I tried to let it show my analytical nature. However I'm a little worried it might get boring? If you have any thoughts regarding that from the second paragraph please feel free to rip into me, or just rip into this essay in general. At this point telling me to toss it out and start over will not be a problem for me. So without further adieu, have at it:

So where is Waldo, really?

In locating any man, such as Waldo, you must first understand who you are going after. You try to begin with physical characteristics, then work towards the more abstract dissection of personality. Then using this information you start to understand who the man is, and how to find him. Let's begin.

First step: The obvious; Waldo is a caucasian male, of average height (5'8"-6'), light brown hair, round glasses, and has a walking cane. Before coming to the United States, Waldo was actually a British man named Wally (short for Walter). He first appeared publicly in September of 1987, as a full grown adult. Assuming he was somewhere between 20-40 at the time, that marks Walter's current age is in the range of 45-65. He wears the glasses constantly, suggesting nearsightedness.

Next we try to understand more about Walter as a person. His fame can be attributed to the search for him, which many might believe is actually a search. This is where most fall astray. Waldo is seen all around the world "hidden" amongst crowds, but that idea leads only to an assumption. An assumption that he is trying to hide. When one takes a closer look, you notice this man is seen looking directly at the camera in every photo. Why would a man on the run continue to find his way into photos he knew were being taken? Wouldn't any smart He is not the shy and nervous man we presume him to be, but rather an attention seeking egomaniac obsessed with photo-bombing some poor tourist's photography. You see, the search is no search at all. This fact will be key later.

Back to the physical appearance, plus some statistics. According to Clairol, 60% of Americans have brown hair color. The US Census Bureau found that in 2010, 74% of Americans identified as "white", around 488,000 citizens were named Walter, and 26.4% were between the age 45-65. Lookmatic estimates that 32 million Americans are nearsighted, or roughly 10.2%. Add in roughly 2% chance of needing a walking cane, and the average height factor. Multiply it all out and you're left with about 58 men named Walter with all of those characteristics.

58 men who look just like Waldo, but which could it be? You could scour the country, looking for these men in question, but that would be a waste of time. The answer is quite clear: These 58 men are a part of an underground society aimed at baffling young children everywhere. How can you be certain that there is not one Waldo with 57 imposters? This is where that fact mentioned earlier comes into play. Unable to see his glory go to waste, an egomaniac working alone, would have called out these impostors. No, these limelight-thirsty animals realize how much more they can accomplish as a coalition, and they've certain done so. To ask the question where's Waldo is simply a waste of effort. The astronomical odds of finding all 58 before they realize what is happening is overwhelming. The task is nearly impossible. So where is Waldo? Or better yet, who is Waldo?