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Posts by anally
Joined: Nov 20, 2012
Last Post: Dec 31, 2012
Threads: 1
Posts: 15  

Displayed posts: 16
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anally   
Dec 31, 2012
Undergraduate / Walk on the Wild Road;Personal Statement [11]

It IS a great essay, but aren't you confined to "wild-road" majors like hip-hop dancing or something like Asian studies with the article? What I mean is, this appearntly isn't the essay for business school...

Anyway, I like your essay a lot.
P.S. Are you also a member at CUUS?
anally   
Dec 27, 2012
Undergraduate / Hamilton, the drop of water; Hamilton supp/ Why Hamilton? [3]

I think it's a very original idea to enclose a poem in your Y essay.
But I don't know if the translated version is conveying the original 意境.
Actually i think even if you lose the poem, I can still picture a drop of water, so I think the poem is a little wastful. But it is an eye catcher... So...

Good Luck with your application!!!
anally   
Dec 8, 2012
Undergraduate / "Not Just Deep Thought"- Common App Personal Statement [9]

@admission2012,
Like i said before, I can't screw my college application, because it's knid of my only way out, and my quote wasn't aimed at you, it was aimed at "present the strongest you possible". So please don't mix them up. You're a great critic, if I were Premed, I would probably take your advice to shape a "likable personality", even if it's far-fetched. But it's what bumms me out, the application process that seeks "wholesome characters".

Any way... why listen to a 17-year-old bothered teenager...
@Premed
Good Luck!
anally   
Dec 8, 2012
Undergraduate / True belief, The salvation of a cynic - Common app;topic of your choice [14]

Thanks a lot for your reply! And man... Just when i thought no one was gonna notice that ID... I didn't understand that word's meaning until tooooo late...I wonder if there's any way to change that....Anyways...

I do realize that I'm close minded after finding out that many scientists have religions too(Stephan Hawkings), and that every mason has to be a theist...So i know I'm in no place to debate about religion. Maybe I'll focus the article on my view of beief intead of using some really offensive words? As to why I think having faith in religion is believing blindly, well, I was brought up in a country that (even now) believe in the power of revolutions, and of people. And also, one of my aunts chant Mantra in a language no one knows EVERY single morning, and that sounds kind of like brain washing to me....

Any way, i guess i'll read more about it before making any more narrow-minded judgments...
Thanks for your feedback! Really appreciate it.
anally   
Dec 6, 2012
Undergraduate / "Not Just Deep Thought"- Common App Personal Statement [9]

I'm from China. I love your essay. I think if you want to be yourself as indicated in the essay, don't adapt it into somehing that "present the strongest you possible". Narrow-minded, so what. If the negativity involved in "narrowmindedness" is caused by the environment that raised you and is an inseparable part of your life, so be it. I'm much like you(not that i have deep thoughts). I think i can change after I've seen more of the world.

The one thing i don't like about American college application is that there IS an ideal personality(that's what scares me most), and all one has to do to gain AO's favor is to put words like "perserverence, passion, positivity, prudence" into the personality one shapes in his essays, it actually works(maybe that's why my essay sound like utter gibberish and i hate it and i don't have the guts to wirte the essay in my mind becasue of its negativity and because i'm from China and i can't screw my college application...). The essay might be trite, but it works. Sometimes i wish i was a part of the "generation perdu", because at least then, no one's judging. Now, in China, the products coming off the production line of education are exactly the same. I hate to sound like I'm blaming something, but that kind of education did me no good. I'm one of the identical products and lack a shouting soul.

I know i sound very negatively cynic and offensive. Sorry. But again, I love your essay. The decision's yours, pork king.
anally   
Dec 6, 2012
Undergraduate / True belief, The salvation of a cynic - Common app;topic of your choice [14]

And Sorry if i offended you. As to the logic fallacy you pointed out, I looked up in google and this is what i find----"Some critics of faith have argued that faith is opposed to reason. In contrast, some advocates of faith argue that the proper domain of faith concerns questions which cannot be settled by evidence." I guess i really was stupid and pretentious to talk about belief before i really learn about it. I watched "I, Pet Goat II" this morning. And apart from its political allusions, I really find religions beautiful, truly astoundingly beautiful. I guess i'll learn more before making a stupid comment then. Sorry, and thank you again.
anally   
Dec 6, 2012
Undergraduate / The walk. Common app essay - I had a nightmare [9]

This sure is great writing material, but your usage of word is a little awkward...I'm an international student myself, maybe you can ask a native speaker to revise it a bit?
anally   
Dec 6, 2012
Undergraduate / My College Essay on Archery; All my hard works, for nothing? [9]

I think maybe you can say something about how archery has affacted your personality? I mean I can clearly see your passion archery, but if you don't put something about "humanity" or your character or something, unless the college really needs a great archer,... Like i always respect some archer's aplomb and calmness, but that's just an example. Of course, my suggestion can be trivial. Overall, it's a fantastic essay. Good Luck!
anally   
Dec 6, 2012
Undergraduate / True belief, The salvation of a cynic - Common app;topic of your choice [14]

Hi! I have two versions for the commonapp main essay. V1 has already been submitted for Early applications, but i have a very strong feeling that I'm doomed for it, because it sounds like an antichrist or something. So, V2 is the adapted version, but still, i have a bad feeling and am eager to adapt/rewrite it. I'm an international student, so please point out my erred grammars. I know it's a lot to ask to read sooooo many words. So MUCH THANKS!!!! Please be as harsh as possible. Thanks again!

V1
The salvation of a cynic

"Hang her", ejaculated the cardinal, "for a cynic shall not be saved." Fear haunting me, I could feel sweats tap-dancing on my forehead, and the ever-so-bright sunlight illuminating my brown pupils. But no light, no warmth seemed to offer an ounce of solace to me, a faithless cynic: an unbeliever.

That's the nightmare I usually wake up from. Preferring believing in nothing to blindly following some religion, I thought truth would stand on my side by being skeptical to every theory, and judging things as objectively as possible. However, lacking a firm belief almost led me to be a nihilist---it was like the noose hanging around my neck.

Fortunately, my father knew me better. He encouraged me to embrace a reasonable belief. He told stories of my grandparents, the "soldiers" who fought valiantly in wars and struggled through the hardest time in the early days. Even on the brink of ruin, they believed life will be better and held fast to it.

"That's the charm of true belief. At some point, you'll believe in something."

True belief, what magical words! I didn't fully understand it until one day in the independent research I did last year. My true belief stroked right to my heart in a millisecond like a chemical reaction.

I studied system dynamics, using Conway's game of life as the medium. According to Conway's theory, cells propagate under influence of its defined neighborhood with a fixed set of rules. My task was to compile a concise dictionary for all the detectable patterns of propagation, stationary or oscillating, and to explore the possible utilities of cellular automatons in different fields.

The cells started off as some random dots on the computer screen, constituting a disturbingly disorderly jumble, at which anyone would frown. However, after thousands of generations, the seemingly unpleasant chaos was transformed into esthetical patterns. The whole process was like a holy parturition, with order being the child and chaos being the mother. The most exciting moment was when I beheld "order" surfacing from chaos. Patterns exist in even the most disorderly pandemonium! Stable structures like block and beehive, oscillators like beacon and blinker, and more complex structures like spaceships and guns were all waiting behind the curtain: the 70*70 grid I constructed for them, longing to surface. What else could I do but love them and appreciate them for their beauty and certainty?

I've become a fervent believer of existence of universal laws, the order, or, TRUTH. I believe that behind every "uncertainty" lies some unshakable "certainty", that if I don't know velocity of electron, I must be graced with the position of it.

The scene in my dream popped into my head again. Looking at the gallows, I could still feel the texture of the crude straws around my neck. But this time, I am free. I'd never felt so relieved, with every inch of my body stretching for warmth and sunlight.

I guess as a cynic, I am saved.

V2
I'm born in a family of believers.
My grandparents, soldiers who fought valiantly in the Anti-Japanese War, were adamantly convicted in the rise of a new China. My father, a doctor who deals with doses and chemicals every day, is a believer of science. My mother, diagnosed with optic trophy at the age of 22 and never got her original 5.0-eyesight back after the craniotomy, puts her faith in God to draw His strength.

Unlike my devoted families, I remained an atheist for almost 17 years, because I preferred believing in nothing at all to blindly following some religion. I thought truth would stand on my side by being skeptical to every theory, and judging things as objectively as possible.

But I underestimated the word "belief". It's the fountain of energy that doesn't include hazards of global warming of radioactivity. And I didn't fully understand it until one day in the independent research I did last year. My true belief stroked right to my heart in a millisecond like a chemical reaction.

I studied system dynamics, using Conway's game of life as the medium. According to Conway's theory, cells propagate under influence of its defined neighborhood with a fixed set of rules. My task was to compile a concise dictionary for all the detectable patterns of propagation, stationary or oscillating, and to explore the possible utilities of cellular automatons in different fields.

The cells started off as some random dots on the computer screen, constituting a disturbingly disorderly jumble, at which anyone would frown. However, after thousands of generations, the seemingly unpleasant chaos was transformed into esthetical patterns. The whole process was like a holy parturition, with order being the child and chaos being the mother. The most exciting moment was when I beheld "order" surfacing from chaos. Patterns exist in even the most disorderly pandemonium! Stable structures like block and beehive, oscillators like beacon and blinker, and more complex structures like spaceships and guns were all waiting behind the curtain: the 70*70 grid I constructed for them, longing to surface. What else could I do but love them and appreciate them for their beauty and certainty?

I've become a fervent believer of existence of universal laws, the order, or, TRUTH. I believe that behind every "uncertainty" lies some unshakable "certainty", that if I don't know velocity of electron, I must be graced with the position of it.

Like the disorderly cells presented in Conway's Game of Life, many things in our life are presented in a state of chaos because low entropy is the nature's way of ruling. But while I'm writing a program, I have the order in my mind. And with that order, no matter how complicated the problem is, whether it is finding all the prime numbers within 10000, or enabling a model rocket to lift off, I know I can get the result I want. The algorithms are my "order"-- they are where my faith lay. That's one of my many reasons for my love of computer engineering.

And the same rule applies to robotics. As the main programmer and the leader of my VEX robotics team, I have to solve more practical problems than just dots on screen with my computer programming skills. The problems in need of solutions can vary from a nonfunctioning "limit" (a kind of sensor), to the whole robot going rogue. Deep in my belief that there's always order underneath those real-life chaos, I manage to solve the problems with terse algorithms, the order that I believe in.

Originally, I thought beliefs were for the infirm ones who would wallow in the mud of misery, waiting for salvations from others' conceptions and expecting to draw strengths from a community, or for the indolent ones who were not industrious enough to explore their own life philosophies. But now I have my own belief, my faith in Truth. I will happily serve Truth my whole life and dedicate what little strength I have to the course of science.
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