Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by mhanna
Joined: Nov 25, 2012
Last Post: Dec 26, 2012
Threads: 3
Posts: 7  
Likes: 1
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 10
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
mhanna   
Dec 26, 2012
Undergraduate / I had officially commissioned a merchandise graphic ; Common App [2]

Tears welled up in my eyes as I saw them take the stage. I'd been listening to them since the fifth grade and their album Ocean Avenue easily became a top played in my music library. The combination of the unique pairing of a violin and their pop-punk sound, along with their positive, relatable lyrics captivated my ears. This was my first time hearing, seeing, and experiencing Yellowcard, my favorite band, live. And that warm summer evening of June 2012, on the beach of Ventura, California has become one of my proudest memories.

My sophomore year of high school, I discovered my raison d'ĂŞtre, graphic design. Finding occasional freelance jobs through friends and self-promotion, I established a good reputation and soon became the go-to girl for design work within the pop/rock music industry. As an avid music listener, I initiated the most perfect job for myself; creating images that corresponded with the sound.

Last April, I received an email from an unfamiliar sender. The subject line read "Yellowcard." Feeling half skeptical, half excited, I opened it to read something along the lines of, "We like your style. Would you be willing to make a t-shirt design for the band?" I zealously responded to the email, accepting the offer. My floor was soon filled sketches torn from my books and my ears were filled with my favorite songs. Along with my new project, I had to deal the demands and a separate workload that comes with being a student. Managing my own freelance business and designing can be challenging at some times, but through my dedication and hard work, I keep on keeping on. I narrowed down my completed drafts to three designs. Nervously, I sent them off to Yellowcard's management with fingers crossed; hoping one of my graphics would be purchased.

A month later I'd been asked to write up an invoice. A week passed and I received a check. I had officially commissioned a merchandise graphic for one of my favorite bands. This had always been a goal of mine, but I didn't know it would come so soon within my design career. I was lucky enough to be invited by the management of Yellowcard to attend one of their performances as a thank you. Little did I know, my product was being sold at a nationally touring music festival. Seeing fans purchasing that simple t-shirt that I had sketched, scanned, vectored, and prayed for made me feel like I could do something significant with graphic design; even if it was just designing someone's favorite t-shirt. That one shirt everyone has, that's been worn a thousand times, no matter how many holes or washes it's had. I design for longevity.

Because of this experience, I am well aware of the importance of producing good work. I dedicate my time to designing the products that people love. It's my passion. Never did I expect that I could be a part of music in a way I ever anticipated.

Please critique!! Need to submit soon.
mhanna   
Nov 29, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Fixed, brown eyes' - UC prompt 1. Edit, critiques and feedback [2]

Very nice essay! Well worded. The only thing I would say is that when you're using "my Grandfather" and "my Father", both father and grandfather don't need to be capitalized since they're not being used as proper nouns.

Please critique my Why Carnegie Mellon essay!
mhanna   
Nov 29, 2012
Undergraduate / Why Carnegie Mellon? (Communication Design) [3]

Growing up, my parents always encouraged me to try different extra-curricular activities. Soccer, swimming, and dance lessons were all things I enjoyed, but never developed a passion for. Throughout elementary, middle, and high school, I'd always known I liked art. But I never took it up until my sophomore year of high school. Starting out drawing and painting letters, I immersed myself in the world of typography. Then after discovering Photoshop and teaching myself to vector my type in Illustrator, I became to be interested in the computer-based aspects of graphic design. I religiously followed multiple design and inspiration blogs, learning by imitation and YouTube tutorials. Later on, a friend requested I try to build a website for his music project. Not knowing any HTML or CSS, I dove into the project of figuring it all out. I studied and practiced. And I found out that coding was just like learning a foreign language. Though my passion is newfound and my learning untraditional, there's nothing I love doing as much as tweaking letters so they fit perfectly together, writing codes to make a functional and visually pleasing website, and creating a balanced composition within my works. I see graphic design as the consistent understanding of a product by an audience through the manipulation of type, color, and placement. As I've discovered, graphic design is a combination of all the things I'm interested in which is why I've chosen to pursue it as a major.

My journey through design has only just begun. I believe that Carnegie Mellon, with its outstanding ranking and reputation for its Communication Design program, can assist me in reaching my goal of being a successful designer. Therefore, my passion for design has induced me to apply to Carnegie Mellon in the College of Fine Arts. Being self-taught, I have faith that Carnegie Mellon could provide me with a well-rounded education and a superb foundation for the skills that I'd need in order to be a flourishing designer.

Along with such an appealing design program, I'd also be interested in Computer Sciences as a minor. As I've heard, Carnegie Mellon upholds a great name for their Computer Sciences program. Being in interested website production, I believe that the skills of both web design and web development are important in creating attractive, purposeful, and efficient websites.

In addition to my interest in both of my intended major and minor, I've learned that Carnegie Mellon has a great collaboration program between the different schools within the university. I find this so appealing because I value a sense of community, which also gives great insight into other programs and things happening on campus. A sense of community also pushes students to learn to work together and I know I'll enjoy an interdisciplinary and collaborative environment that Carnegie Mellon provides.

Through its productive and integrated community and a world-renowned design program, I firmly believe that studying at Carnegie Mellon can endow me with an infinite amount of opportunities; reaching my goal of becoming a versatile designer, learning from and networking with talented professors and alumni, contributing to campus life, and finding my learning haven and a home away from California.

Please help me critique! I need this for tomorrow.
mhanna   
Nov 27, 2012
Undergraduate / University of Washington Short Response Culture Learning [3]

"... I was incredibly excited to have a ' sister' ." Change the apostrophes to quotation marks.

I like the anecdotes, but sometimes your transitions are a bit plain from the Swiss student, Thai student, to yourself. Also in your 3rd paragraph you wrote: "Of course, I didn't go for a whole year, but I went on a school trip to Japan and we stayed with a host family for a long weekend." Why the use of "of course"? It doesn't make much sense to the reader in context.

Otherwise, you have a great topic. And please take a look at my Common App short answer. Thanks!
mhanna   
Nov 27, 2012
Undergraduate / 'I want to live and learn for myself' - UC ESSAY: PROMPT 1 [3]

Your essay flows nicely, but you write about a "community service experience" yet, you don't continue with that idea, how it influenced you, or what it is.

Also, please critique my Common App Short Answer on Graphic Design. Thank you!
mhanna   
Nov 27, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Not a fine artist yet' - Short Answer on GRAPHIC DESIGN [7]

Here's a third revision. Its a lot different from my other two drafts. Please critique!

I always knew I was interested in graphic design, though my creativity and methods have always been something I've uncovered myself; whether it be in 4th grade where I figured out how to group shapes together in Microsoft Word to create my own Clipart, burying myself in CSS and HTML codes, or drawing out custom lettering with my brush pen used for shirt graphics that friends' bands were requesting. Starting there, I began working my way up to designing typographic logos, pleasing and purposeful websites, and of course, more t-shirt graphics independent record labels, later, to major record labels. Through my high school career, I've found myself in love with the in-between of being creative and functional to reach longevity of my product. Graphic design takes originality, aesthetic qualities, and technical skills into account. And I'm fortunate to have found my niche within the pop/rock music industry where I have the freedom and opportunity to create work to be enjoyed by the mass.
mhanna   
Nov 26, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Being abroad on my own' -The life changing experience - Common App Short [6]

I like your short answer and I think it has great content, but you only really mentioned your passions of photography & travelling, but not how you became to be passionate about your own study abroad experience. Maybe include a little bit more "self"!

Also, please check out my Common App short answer. I'd love your critique!
mhanna   
Nov 26, 2012
Undergraduate / "Bad Investments?" Common App Short Answer [9]

Unfortunately, I continued to abstain from this philosophy when, in my sophomore year of high school, I purchased my first stock.
Take out the commas here, it seems a little too much.

Other than that, there does seem to be a lot of clause-use within your essay but I think the content is nice.

& please critique the revisit of my short answer!
mhanna   
Nov 26, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Not a fine artist yet' - Short Answer on GRAPHIC DESIGN [7]

Alright, here's my revision. Please help with critique!

I paint and draw, but I'm not a fine artist. I write HTML and CSS codes, but I'm not a web developer. I work with Photoshop and Illustrator, though I'm not a photographer or a digital artist. I've found myself in the middle of being creative and making functional things for a purpose. Graphic design takes creativity, math, information management, aesthetic knowledge, and technical skills of both software and paper and pencil into account. It is the consistent understanding of a product by an audience through the manipulation of type, color, and placement. Not only is design a passion of mine, but its also become my first job. I started out designing tshirts for small bands & musicians then working my way up to independent record labels, and major labels. Design is a universal language in which only some speak and others comprehend. And I'm lucky enough to have found my niche within the pop/rock music industry where I have the freedom to interact with others through my own work.
mhanna   
Nov 25, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Not a fine artist yet' - Short Answer on GRAPHIC DESIGN [7]

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).

I paint and draw, but I'm not a fine artist. I write HTML and CSS codes, but I'm not a web developer. I work with Photoshop and Illustrator, though I'm not a photographer or a digital artist. I've found myself in the middle of being creative and making functional things for a purpose. Graphic design takes creativity, math, information management, aesthetic knowledge, and technical skills of both software and paper and pencil into account. It is the consistent understanding of a product by an audience through the manipulation of type, color, and placement. Design is a universal language in which only some speak and others comprehend. And I have become one of those few.