Undergraduate / She collapsed on the chair ; most significant challenge / (MIT) [2]

Tell us about the most significant challenge you've faced or something important that didn't go according to plan. How did you manage the situation?(*) (200-250 words)

I wrote a different essay from what I had, please tell me if I managed to answer both sides of the question, please correct any grammar mistakes, how my essay progressed to the end, basically any comment and review :)

thank you

Everybody was so consumed in the intricate Henna design being drawn on the brides hands, though I admit to Arab families having as many cousins as three American families combined, this wedding was special, the first cousin of mine to get married.

Traditional songs were being played in the background, my eyes flickered over to where my aunt was sitting, I sensed some tension and instinctively went over, only to find her vomiting, I knew it was side effects of the chemotherapy she was going through, I was taken of guard not prepared in such an occasion, I tried to get her to stand up to go outside for fresh air, she could barely stand up, shaking she collapsed on the chair and started to vomit again.

containing my fear, I immediately searched for my father and calmly told him what was happening for him to go treat her, impulsively I searched for my grandmother, she had witnessed two sons die to illnesses and it was my duty to protect her from witnessing this in such a happy time for her, spotting her I went over and took her to the dance floor, to this day I dont understand how I managed to keep a straight face and joke and laugh with her with everything that was going on, especially that my mind was unenthusiastically relating what was happening to my best friend, thinking that this is how she might get in her more progressive stages.

Undergraduate / My adventurous nature is what I'm proud about, it has boosted up my lifestyle [2]

Please give me your thoughts on this, is it too descriptive? any grammar mistakes or punctuation?

What attribute of your personality are you most proud of, and how has it impacted your life so far? This could be your creativity, effective leadership, sense of humor, integrity, or anything else you'd like to tell us about. (*) (200-250 words)

My adventurous side is something I am in awe to, it has boosted up my lifestyle, making me less afraid to try new things and challenge myself in vast areas.

Forcing myself to step out of my comfort zone, I marched on a path of self exploration, attending international and national science camps in a vast diversity of fields ranging form biomedical engineering to astronomy, working almost independently the research projects were supervised by mentors, both challenging and demanding, these endeavors made my interest in astronomy photography and computing prosper and opened my mind to the endless things I can do in my life, teaching me that being a geek meant adding to your personal colors and uniqueness.

This in return made me more confident of my decisions and managing risk taking more wisely, that could be shown in the fact that I decided to stray from the similar annual electronics projects in my high school despite my teacher's discouragement and build a magnetic levitation device, and it worked perfectly.

Being adventurous made me step out of conventionality occasionally making me more independent and mature and my life less mundane, I started taking Oud lessons despite my lack of musical history, volunteering as a clown doctor learning to make balloon animals and magic tricks not to forget taking Spanish lessons.

I am not afraid to err or fail nor venture on my own it has become something integral in my life, leading me to the position of applying at MIT.

Undergraduate / 'Readily prepared' - Most significant challenge you've faced? (MIT) [4]

I need help please, tell me if this is to the point and answers the question :
Tell us about the most significant challenge you've faced or something important that didn't go according to plan. How did you manage the situation?

, also punctuation and grammer help please! (200-250 words)
thank you very much

Readily prepared, passport in hand socks for the cold nights to come, not only was it my first travel alone, I was going to Germany for an astronomy camp, just thinking about the nights I will spend observing those mystical Arabic-named stars using a telescope and developing images in a dark room made me ecstatic.

Leaving on my favorite holiday, Ramadan was hard but luckily it was a time of meteor showers.
I got off the plane too consumed in my own fantasies, probably did not help that I am a Pisces, busy patting myself on the shoulders proud that I had managed to reach Germany on my own, I was too naĂŻve to notice that I had boarded the plane but my luggage hadn't, until I was the last one waiting in my terminal.

Panicking I had no idea what to do, the terminal was huge and empty, I did not want to tell my parents so not to worry them, and the fact that the last train to the camp was a couple of hours away only made me more alarmed, I contacted my travel agency and learnt that my luggage was still in a security check back in Israel, on another continent.

I was told to buy what I needed and the agency will cover the costs, and there I was alone in Germany ready to go on a shopping spree for a months' worth of clothes, what more could a fretted girl ask for.