Undergraduate / Cornell University - REASONS for TRANSFER [3]

Essay Question: Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.

Transferring to Cornell University is a goal of mine for several reasons. Cornell provides many opportunities that I am eager to take advantage of. First, I would like to participate in Cornell's unique academic experience. Cornell has unsurpassed commitment to both undergraduate education and research. I have had firsthand experience with this as I have witnessed my dad work both as a professor and scientific researcher in his lab at Cornell. I want to be a part of both of these aspects; first experiencing the academic side as an undergraduate then I would like to move on to researching interpersonal and community relations and potential ways to enhance how we communicate.

Because I am still unsure of my specific career path, my main desire currently is to learn as much as possible. There are still many things in the world that I do not know about. I want to be a sponge and absorb knowledge so that I can gain a better understanding of both the world and my desired field of study. This goal is achievable at Cornell as I would have over 4,000 courses to choose from. Furthermore, Cornell offers outstanding faculty connections that will give me the opportunity to start networking, something that I believe is extremely important for my future. Finally, attending Cornell would allow me to be close to my home in Ithaca. This is especially important because my dad will be moving to China for work within the next year. I would like to be close to home so that I can help my mom who will be working and caring for my sister. Attending Cornell would not only allow me to continue my education at a prestigious school, but also give me the opportunity to contribute at home.

Cornell will provide many chances for personal growth and discovery. Attending Cornell would be a great investment in my future, an opportunity I would take full advantage of.

Feedback of any kind would be very much appreciated, thank you.

Undergraduate / Commitment and care; Lehigh/ Unique aspect [2]

As a prospective business major, a unique aspect of Lehigh that interests me the most is the commitment and care that is shown to the undergraduate students through their four years at the College of Business and Economics. Lehigh helps their students plot a path to success unlike any other business school in the country. Unlike many schools that let students make their own decisions, Lehigh has formulated a successful formula and curriculum to ensure the success of their undergraduates. A very special part of Lehigh's curriculum occurs in the third year of study. The faculty and Career Services help undergraduates find summer internships all across the United States and even overseas. To me, this is a very unique and attractive aspect of Lehigh University. With job competition rising every year, I want to go to a school that can help set me up for a job and success in the future. Lehigh's outstanding business school and its unique approach to undergraduate students is exactly what I am looking for.

what do you think??
harsh feedback please

Undergraduate / "Linsanity" completely took over the nation; I pretended not to like Jeremy Lin [2]

Should I change my topic?
1st draft

Jeremy Lin has been dubbed the savior and face of Asian basketball ever since he broke onto the scene late last year with the New York Knicks. Many Asian-Americans proudly jumped on the bandwagon in support of their new favorite countryman. "Linsanity" completely took over the nation and Asians were proud to call Jeremy Lin one of their own. On the surface, I acted like I wasn't a fan of Lin, because of the stereotypes and names that I myself began to draw. Since I would regularly play basketball with my friends during my free time, many of my friends began to dub me as "Jeremy Lin". I consider myself to be pretty athletic and good at most sports. Before Jeremy Lin broke onto the scene, I was my own person and just considered a good athlete. However, after Linsanity occurred, whenever I would demonstrate my athletic ability, the name "Lin" would be thrown out again. This stereotype was very uncomfortable for me. However, I found myself rooting for Jeremy in secret, hoping that his success would continue and not just be an anomaly. The truth is, Jeremy Lin has helped me become proud of my heritage. I am not ashamed of being Asian-American. Jeremy Lin has also helped me realize that I can achieve any dream, no matter how difficult or far-fetched. I am proud to say today that Jeremy Lin is my hero.

harsh criticism please :)

Undergraduate / Quote by Barack Obama; UVA sup/ What piece of literature has unsettled you? [4]

"Strange how a single conversation can change you. Or maybe it only seems that way in retrospect. A year passes and you know you feel differently, but you're not sure what or why or how, so your mind casts back for something that might give that difference shape: a word, a glance, a touch." This is the most profound quote in Barack Obama's magnificent autobiography, Dreams from my Father. Reading about Barack Obama's life and his transformation from an unmotivated high school student into a graduate of the prestigious Harvard Law School completely unsettled me and helped me reach a harsh truth about myself. I was becoming a person that I despised. I was not putting in my best effort at school, destined for a community college and the life of an average Joe. Dreams from my Father helped me realize that I did not want to grow up and become a nobody. I was living the life of Obama before he became successful: unmotivated, lazy, and carefree. From that point on, I decided that I would put my best foot forward and try my very best. This is reflected in my ACT and SAT II scores. I worked extremely hard to achieve the best scores and am very proud of my effort. Dreams from my Father can benefit all that can understand its subliminal message. It is never too late to chase and fulfill your dreams as Obama did when he reached Harvard Law School after a disorderly childhood.

critical feed back please!!1

Undergraduate / The most prestigious; BU supp/ "Why Boston University" [4]

Boston University is one of the most prestigious universities in the United States and I would be extremely humbled to attend the school. Besides this fact, I believe that Boston University is a perfect fit for me both academically and socially. Because I am still contemplating my future career choice after college, BU's prestigious College of General Studies will offer me a perfect opportunity to take a variety of classes in different majors to find out what I am really interested in pursuing after college in a world renowned school. Socially, Boston University is a perfect fit for me. Boston is one of the greatest cities in the world and offers an international culture that is waiting to be explored and enjoyed. Growing up, I had always aspired to live in and experience a big city. However, living in the rural town of Ithaca, New York almost all my life, I never have had the opportunity to explore the wonders of a city like Boston. BU also has great diversity in its student body which will allow me to meet new friends from all ethnicities and backgrounds. BU's mission statement says that BU is "committed to educating students to be reflective, resourceful individuals ready to live, adapt, and lead in an interconnected world." I am a student who fits these criteria and am ready to lead and make a difference in this world.

please i need feedback