Undergraduate / Winning first place in Olympiad; Common App ; Significant experience [6]

please help me with this essay for common app topic #, and tell me if i was specific enough about my experience/achievement and if i elaborated well enough the impact it had on me...

My life has been very interesting so far. It's been a life full of different experiences that have caused moments of joy as well as moments of sadness. Most importantly, all these different experiences have contributed in shaping my personality and helping me grow as a person.

Coming from a country like Kosovo adds much shape to the way one thinks, lives and acts. Kosovo, a post-war country with a new era of development ahead, struggled much in the past to resist the brutal occupation and avoid the practices of the Eastern Block, especially in the educational system. Unfortunate to say, terms like "critical" or "analytical skills" have only vague meanings, despite the great desire to overcome these shortcomings. Besides the loss of many people and total destruction of the economy and educational system, the war had a much more significant effect. It embedded pessimism among people and precluded them from working towards their goals, mainly due to the thought that Kosovo is not a place where one can fulfill his or her goals and achieve success.

In 2010, I wanted to do a research concerning environment, specifically finding an economical and alternative solution to prevent river pollution from heavy metal ions coming from out-of-functioning mines, and present it in an international Olympiad. Even though I faced many difficulties in the beginning, with the constant support of my family and teachers, I managed to do it. In 2011 I applied in INESPO (International Environment and Scientific Project Olympiad), held in the Netherlands, and got accepted to the final round along with other students coming from 38 different countries with about 110 projects. For most of the people who heard I was going to present my research in an International Olympiad and compete with students coming from some of the most developed countries in the world, acquiring an award in the Olympiad was an impossible task. Honestly, by some degree, I think I belonged in that group of people too. Simply thinking that a project from a small and undeveloped country like Kosovo can win an award in such a strong competition was unbearable. But, proving the contrary, my research (Cleaning of industrial acidic waste water with human hair) won the first place golden prize.

However, I didn't just win the first prize in an international Olympiad; I won much more. This achievement significantly changed the way I felt about myself and my country. It deeply boosted my confidence and made me zealous to work much harder. The motivation I gained helped me perform every task I was assigned in the best way possible. It made me set high goals and expectations for my future. I realized that hard-work, creativity, dedication and positive attitudes can lead to success and have the same significance just about anywhere. Most importantly, not only I but also my compatriots were able to witness that Kosovo can achieve big things and that the size and the condition of a country are not the main factors in achieving success. And this very important lesson gained from my experience should serve to all of us, citizens of Kosovo, for the future development of our country.

Undergraduate / "I am an Albanian" ; Stanford: Writing a note to future roommate! [8]

here's my note to my future roommate.
please respond as fast as possible and tell me whether this is good enough to present myself and convince the admission committee

Hello mate,
First of all I want to tell you that we are going to have great fun; we got in Stanford YAY!

I am an Albanian coming from Kosovo, a small country in the south-eastern Europe. Even though Kosovo celebrated only its 4th independence anniversary this year, it is a country with a very rich history and culture. There are many beautiful things about my country so you're going to hear a lot from me about it. I expect the same from you as I like to learn about new cultures and different ways of living.

I have a wide range of interests; beginning with skiing, listening to music, playing soccer, watching movies, fishing, travelling and ending with reading, drawing, swimming and hiking. But the two main interests in my life are engineering and basketball.

Since I was a kid, I always wanted to become an engineer. My father, an electrical and electronic engineer, used to explain me how basic things worked and how engineers made different devices which helped people perform tasks faster and better. I quickly learned how to change a bulb or fix a broken plug. Together with my father we would make up new toys and put them into work. This significantly shaped my school life as I became more and more interested in mathematics and science subjects such as physics and chemistry. Thus talking about things related to engineering such as innovative inventions or solutions to world problems is something I really like and wish to share with you.

Playing basketball is another thing I love. I train regularly and play in the junior league of Kosovo. I am a huge fan of the Lakers and to me Kobe Bryant is arguably the best player that has ever existed (you'd better agree here)! I hope to play basketball in Stanford too and I advise you not to get surprised if you see me in the middle of the night trying to perform an imaginary move that Kobe did to beat the buzzer or bouncing the basketball to the ceiling. I also hope that we will play together and have fun.

Finally, I want us to become FRIENDS. I want us to help each other and care for each other. We're not going to only share the same room; we will share our time in there. Btw I really like to make people laugh and have fun so you'll never get bored in my company.

Yours sincerely,

Rron