Writing Feedback / IELTS: 'optimum utilization of available resources' - Inequality between rich and poor nations [6]

I think you have good ideas for the prompt, targeting the leaders of poorer nations as a reason behind a country's poverty.
However, I think you need to reorganize the flow of your essay to make it more logical to read.

you need not to mention every possible way to fix the gap issue, just stick to what is aligned to the causes you have
mentioned in your main paragraphs.

hope this helps...

Writing Feedback / IELTS; Schools should provide practical knowledge and skills to students [4]


Which paragraph supports this statement?

Writing Feedback / TOEFL - Children managing their own money - best way to learn responsibility [8]

the target of this prompt is to relate how teaching children to handle their money could help
them become responsible adult as they grow up. do not limit your scope to financial matters
only.

hope this helps...

Writing Feedback / 'Rabindranath Tagore'; Children should be educated at home by their parents [6]

definitely a good one..try spicing up your essay with complex vocabulary.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL - Children managing their own money - best way to learn responsibility [8]

oh I didn't see that, my apologies.

Writing Feedback / ielts essay : water should be always free. governments should ban bottled water. [4]

hi,
I noticed several grammatical errors which made your sentences misleading. try to review your work
by paragraphs to avoid these mistakes.

Nowadays, water has become a popular commodity all over the world. Many opt for bottled water as most of the other sources in the ecosystem have been polluted and contaminated. Although mankind has the right to have free access to water, I strongly disagree to the debarment of selling sanitized bottled waters.

hope this helps...

Writing Feedback / IELTS Human's dependence in the modern world - about coherence, academic style [7]


not a good starting sentence;it is basically what is written in your prompt.


this is unnecessary; try to rephrase if you must

your ideas are great, however some of them aren't properly sequenced, it took me a couple of re-reads to
grasp the concept
you also did not fully ellaborate your discussion on the relation of modernization with dependency among humans

hope this helps..

Writing Feedback / [TOEFL] learning a foreign language in my own country or anther country [4]

hi. You have to be careful in choosing your words to describe your idea, like in the sentence below
you should have chosen encourage instead of stimulate. The latter seems awkward to read


another example is the sentence below


read more and you will overcome this problem

hope this helps

Writing Feedback / Economic growth is defined as an increase in the number of goods and services produced in one year [5]

In my opinion, your introduction is not appropriate for your task.
Firstly, you are more likely talking about Economic growth as the main idea instead of a country's success.
Secondly, you are not being asked to agree or disagree with the theory.

hope this helps...

Writing Feedback / IELTS-In some countries, the old age is more valued, while in some countries the youth [14]

First of all, why are you posting your friend's work on his behalf. It may be confusing to proofread two writings in a single thread.

So I suggest to post the second writing in another thread.

Your writing needs improvement to a large extent. I am not sure if its because you wrote it in a short span of time. But as a reader,

I came across a lot of distractions like incorrect spelling, wrong usage of articles and words. If you just started writing, try to initially
target a writing which could yield you a high remark regardless of time. Eventually you will learn to write faster and better. Do some
reading to improve your grammar.

hope this helps...

Writing Feedback / IELTS-In some countries, the old age is more valued, while in some countries the youth [14]

well here are some of your mistakes:


the old and the young in comaprison



wrong words..


articles...


articles..

the variation of your vocabulary is very minimal,try to go for synonyms like elderly, aged, minors, teens, children

hope this helps...