Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Children consume too much unhealthy food. Cause & solution? [4]

Many of the world's children consume far too much unhealthy food. What are the causes of this problem and what can be done to solve it?

Unhealthy food consuming among children is a tragedy of the present age. The problem is best explained by parents' influences and the development of food industries, but can be alleviated by changing children's attitudes toward food and placing tight regulations on junk food marketing.

It is difficult to argue with the idea that parents play a strong role in their children's eating habits. Due to work circumstances, people routinely resort to unhealthy eating options. Parents are more likely to skip cooking family meals and feed their children with take-out meals or prepared entrees. As a result, children follow their parents' patterns. Another reason for children yearning for junk food is excessive pampering by the parents and always allowing children to have their ways in consuming junk food.

Junk food advertising is also a culprit for the obesity and bad eating diets among children. As food companies spend more to promote their food on social media, children tend to see more food ads. The main issue of most viewing junk food ads is that it depicts junk food in a delicious and tantalizing form which acts as boosters for increasing appetite for them.

The best way to deal with the regrettable situation at hand is to train children about food and their eating habits. If children are taught properly, they are more likely to make healthy food choices and minimize the intake of junk food themselves as well. Parents also need to try cooking regularly at home and serving home-made meals. Another measure is that a ban on junk food during peak children's viewing times should be applied.

Please help me in improving my writing. Sometimes, I find it hard to develop ideas for an essay. Is there any good suggestion to do that? Thanks in advance for your help.

Writing Feedback / [IELTS] Task 1 USA marriage and divorce rates [5]

The first bar chart illustrates changes in the marriages and divorces rates in the USA over a period of 30 years. The second bar chart shows the figures for marital status of American adults in 1970 and 2000.

Overall, there was a drop in the number of marriages between 1970 and 2000 and 'married' is by far the most popular marital status among Americans. There were higher rates of never married and divorced people in 2002 compared to 1970.

In 1970, there were a total of 2.5 million marriages and 1 million divorces in the USA. The latter went from 1 million cases to reach a figure of 1.4 million 10 years later, falling back to 1 million by the end of the period. On the other hand, there was a downward trend in the number of marriages, stagnating at 2.5 million until 1980 prior to decreasing to 2 million cases by 2000.

The percentage of divorced people was the lowest figure in 1970. This figure then rose to nearly 10% by 2002. Similarly, there was a higher rate of unmarried people in 2002, 20% compared to 15% in 1970. While 70% of Americans adults were married in 1970, ending at under 60% by 2002, widows constituted the smallest proportion of adults in 2002 after dropping from 8%

• 
  
  

Writing Feedback / [IELTS] Task 1 School Spending - Feedback [9]

Hope to receive feedback(s) from everyone. I'm working hard to improve my writing skill.

These are pie charts that show the proportions of yearly expenditure on different things in a UK school in 3 separate years: 1981, 1991 and 2001.

The upshot of the charts is that there was a downward trend in spending on other staffs' wages and resources such as books, which stands in clear contrast to other school expenditure.

It is difficult not to notice that teachers' salaries constituted the largest proportion of school spending over the period. The amount of money paid for teachers rose dramatically, reaching 50% of total spending in 1991, ending at 45% in 2001. The 1981 to 2001 period witnessed a fall from 28% to only 15% in expenditure on other workers' salaries.

Resources such as books had cost school spending 20% by 1991 before declining to 9% by the end of the period. A contrasting development took place in spending on furniture and equipment, where expenditure increased slightly from 15% to 23% of total spending between 1981 and 2001. Similarly, the cost of insurance saw a rising trend, growing from 2% to 8% by 2001.

•