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Posts by hpatel
Joined: Sep 18, 2013
Last Post: Sep 26, 2013
Threads: 3
Posts: 6  
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From: India

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hpatel   
Sep 26, 2013
Writing Feedback / task 1- The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land [3]

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The given pie chart depicts the main cause of agricultural land becoming lesser productive.Also an evaluation is made on how these causes affected North America, Europe and Oceania during 1990s.

It was evaluated from the statistics that there were total four causes of land degradation.Almost 35% of land degradation occured due to overgrazing, followed by deforestation (30%). Further, over cultivation lead to 28% of world wide farmland degeberation. Other reasons altogher consituted 7%.

Out of thr three regions survyed in 1990s, Europe had most percentage of total degraded land,23%. Deforestation contiributed to 9.8% of this total, followed by over cultivation with 7.7% and over grazing with 5.5%. On the other hand Oceania have more effects by over grazing with 1.3% of land degraded due to it out of total 13%. By contrast , North America had only 5% of land degeneration and that to mainly caused by over cultivation and over-grazing with 3.3 and 1.5% respectively.

Thus it is evident that Europe suffered most in 1990s with farmland degradation of which deforestation and over-cultivation were main cause.




hpatel   
Sep 23, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS; governments should give financial support to creative artists [4]

Nice intro...

Governments do need to look at creative artists. Because any genuine artist aims to makesome arts better for his native land. In art project a huge money needs to create, financial supportwhich is vital for them otherwise, it is impossible for them to build a new project.

here third line will make a good start of the para then the first line.
some better arts
money is required/needed

Finally, arts affect everywhere of our natural movement however, I believe apart from the flipside , government funding is to be ensured to create arts

Quite confusing..
hpatel   
Sep 21, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS-TASK2: In some countries today, there is an attitude that anyone can do it in arts.. [5]

In some countries today, there is an attitude that anyone can do it in arts- music, literature ,acting, art etc.As a result people with no talent become rich and famous and genuine talent is not valued or appreciated.Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays people are more inclined towards art.As compare to olden days the subbranches of field of arts like music, literature , acting etc are more recognized and accepted with more passion.But many people keep an opinion that in some nations individuals without sheer ability tend to become popular than those with authentic talent. I do not agree with this outlook.

To begin with, no matter how much hard anyone tries if there is no talent then one cannot achieve success. For example audience do not adore singers and actors with bad or low singing and acting skills respectively. Due to the development in human brain with time, its choice has ended up being complex, and can easily differentiate between pure talent and fake attitude hence there are very petite chances of untalented person to sit on the throne of success.

Also I believe genuine skills never goes unappreciated. Many talent hunt competitions are example of it. We have even come across the people who once persuaded their art form in remote and unnoticeable way have now become prominent faces of their respective field.

Though I do not deny that many a times some petty people often takes up all the praises of others work, gaining monetary and career profit but such stardom is short lived. Also many a times pure talent takes time to get noticed but once identified it shines like gold.

Therefore to conclude I disagree with the fact that talent goes unacknowledged ,as awareness among art overs is riveting.
hpatel   
Sep 21, 2013
Writing Feedback / Writing Task 1: The pie charts- Age groups in Oman and Spain [4]

there was a higher proportion of over 60 year old Spain people compared to Oman ones at 62 percent in 2005

.... people in spain or spanish people

On the contrary, the prediction is that this age in Spain

the individuals of this age in Spain....

conclusion is missing
hpatel   
Sep 21, 2013
Writing Feedback / Writing Task 1: The pie charts- Age groups in Oman and Spain [4]

In particular, in 2005, it is apparent from the charts the percentage of people under 14 made up in both countries: 48 percent and 14 percent respectively.

In 2005, it is apparent from the charts that the percentage of people under 14 in both countries were 48 percent and 14 percent respectively.
hpatel   
Sep 20, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS; the number of people continuing their education after school has increased, [3]

In many countries these days, the number of people continuing their education after school has increased,and the range of courses available at universities and colleges has also increased. Do you think this as a positive or negative development

In today's modern world new developments can be cited in every field,education is no exemption. In recent years more and more number of people are seen persisting higher education, also a wide range of courses are now offered at universities and colleges. I perceive this as a positive advancement.

Varoius reasons can be assigned to support this statement.Firstly, increase in number of persons with higher education have benefitedany country's overall progress,as they can earn more and eventually can pay more taxes.Also companies and employers can now have more employees who are trained and familiar with relevant job profile. Also as an individualit is never too late to study and hence by studing more one can develop as a knowlegable ,more cultured and more responsible person.

Further, universities and colleges are now offeringa variety of courses alongwith the traditional courses.Even this aspect have optimistic effects. This wide range of courses helps a student to comply with his subject of interest. Also this leads a possibility of exploring new fields. It even helps in employment as many options can be available. Addition of some contemporary courses like music,art,acting have made people to see this fieldwith more respect and helped its perseveres professionaly.

Hence to sumup, I believe that knowledge never goes waste hence it is a positve advancement that more number of people are opting to study after school and also the universities are now providing more diverse courses facilitating people to after school
hpatel   
Sep 19, 2013
Writing Feedback / Ielts Writing task 1: The portion of different ages of the population in Yemen and Italy [4]

hi
This pie chart indicates the portion of different ages of the population, including 0-14 years, 15-59 years and 60+ years in Yemen and Italy in 2000 and plan for 2050

introduction seems complex with too much numeric info.
this pie chart delineates the percentage of different ages of population of the countires yemen and italy,for the year 2000 and possible statistics for the year 2050
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