Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by sanzhar
Name: Sanzhar Kerimbek
Joined: Dec 3, 2013
Last Post: Dec 18, 2013
Threads: 2
Posts: 9  
Likes:
From: Kazakhstan
School: kazakh turkish high school

Displayed posts: 11
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
sanzhar   
Dec 18, 2013
Undergraduate / Why Lafayette?/ Difference between being busy and being engaged [2]

[i][i]Since I was very young, I have always wondered how the worlds go around. Why do I lean forward when the car suddenly stops? Why does the ball fly in a curve pattern when I throw it? That's the reason why I chose to study in a Physics specialised class in high school. I think that this is too cliche, so show in creative way how did you become interested in physics.

Try to write why you were interested particularly in Lafayette , coz I think that your example about Professor is not clear .
P.S.
Please , also help with mine, this is urgent.
sanzhar   
Dec 4, 2013
Writing Feedback / Toefl. Should countries engage with others or they should isolate from other countries. [7]

Nowadays we live in a very fast developing world .I believe that countries in order to develop should not isolate from the world but instead engage with other countries. I feel this way because countries which are engaged with others strengthen their economy, increase popularity of the tourism and share knowledge and technology with other countries.

To begin with, countries which are partners develop faster compared to the isolated countries .First of all, to develop faster countries must increase money in its treasury. This can be made by trading with partner countries , especially trading expensive and necessary products such as petroleum , diamonds, gold and other precious materials .Also increase in the economic stability can be made by investments into the country's business by foreign entrepreneurs .For example , investments in the building factories, mining industry , department stores and food products.

Also ,engaging with other countries causes increase in number of tourists. Tourists will learn new things from the foreigners and explore their traditions and rites. This causes both cultural involvement between countries and causes friendship to become stronger .For example , laws that allow visitors to enter the country without the visa and to stay there for a long period of time will be very comfortable for tourists.

Another reason I think this way is that involvement between countries promotes sharing of knowledge because knowledge was valuable in all eras. Countries can share their technologies , share their university basis and can exchange students between each other. This is very crucial because exchange students , technologies are important in order to make the nation more intelligent. From my personal experience , I have a lot of friends who are studying currently in USA , South Korea ,Singapore and they all will come back and develop my country in the future.

To conclude, I think that countries should never isolate because it will not make the country stronger in all aspects but instead make the country more vulnerable.
sanzhar   
Dec 4, 2013
Writing Feedback / TOEFL; Hiring experienced worker at higher salary or inxeperienced worker at lower salary? [6]

Arinadeer
I think that your intro is lacking any hook to a reader, so just make it a bit alonger by inserting ideas you will write in the bodies.

Your bodies are very short and support your opinion by making arguments about yor thesis and providing strong examples to make them longer .
And lastly, conclusion is pretty good and you can restate your introand add some analysis in conclusion .
sanzhar   
Dec 3, 2013
Writing Feedback / Toefl ; Independence from parents [2]

In the following essay I would like to express my opinion in regard to the thesis "It is better to be independent from the parents as soon as possible" .I think this way because people who gain independence early develop a lot of useful skill , they are more responsible and they are free to do anything.

To begin with, independent adults live separately from their parents , so that they have to know how to cook, clean up apartment and how to earn money .These skills are very vital to survive alone or with partner ,because person cannot live without dwelling , without money and without something to eat .Also, earning money explains how money is hard to find, because no one will give money , so you must earn it yourself.

Addingly, adults tend to be more responsible if they live without parents because parents usually take responsibility and do not allow to make very important decisions. To illustrate that , mature people can marry and consequently have their own children and have private apartments. Marriage teaches adults how to behave with their husband or wives and how to upbring children.This example shows how living separately from parents is very crucial in order to be responsible.

And lastly , adults who are independent have really a lot of freedom to anything you want .This is because there are no parents who control everywhere all your moves, every your decision and says to do their own opinion. Therefore, there are a lot of good thing to do your own without parents . To show that, adults can make party in their apartments and travel alone or with partner anywhere. So, as a result freedom make you very happy.

Ultimately , living separately and without parents is a very useful thing . Adults become more mature because they learn how to earn money , learn responsibility and gain total freedom of their parents.
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳